JOHN interviews SQUIG
 
By BeserkSaturn

John: Good evening, ladies and germs. Tonight I will be interviewing someone no one has interviewed before.

Mad Piano: Finally some recognition!

John: Not you, I will be interviewing... the Squig.

Some Guy: Um... Someone interviewed the Squig already.

John: Oh yeah? prove it.

(The guy brings a computer in with the Force and quick searches Squig in Iinterviews.)

Audience: O.O

John: Meh... Get used to stuff like this happening in my Interviews

Bob-omb: (singing) I'm a believer!

John: Now let’s see...

(He gasps as he sees Shrugger Shroob has already interviewed a Squig.)

John: I'm going to have a moment of depression now.

And so he does...

John: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…

Two seconds later...

John: All right, let’s get our interviewee out here. *to backstage* Come on out.

(The Squig comes out and waves to the audience and is showered with wild applause.)

John: Hey, what about me?!

(He gets showered with tomatoes.)

John: Ok... First question, Mr...

Squig: Spak. My name is Spak.

John: Ok Spak, first of all, what game are you from and what is your occupation?

Spak: I’m from Super Paper Mario, I walk around and spit rocks.

John: What is the difference between Squigs and Squiglets?

Spak: Squiglets are young Squigs.

John: ... That’s it?

Spak: Yep.

John: Ok, so how can Sqiugs spit out rocks when Squiglets can't?

Spak: There is a special organ in the body of a Squig that allows us to spit out those rocks and that develops when Squiglets become adults.

John: What abut your color difference?

Spak: When that organ develops it changes our blood color, causing a change in skin color.

John: All right, now-

Spak: Squogs are different because they think brawn is better than brains, yes I can use my front legs as arms sometimes, and no you can't have five bucks.

John: What?! How did you know what I was gonna say?!

Spak: I’m sorry, but your questions were a bit too predictable.

John: Grr, fine. Audience time. Seat 64.

Fawful: I HAVE FURY!

John: Good for you, seat 7.

Fuzzy: MEROK!

John: Can I please have someone who will ask a question?

Mario from Hotel Mario: No!

John: Gah. Seat 1.3333333333333333333.

The ghost of the Goomba from my last Interview: What was it like before and after Bowser's troops came?

Spak: Before they came we were sometimes picked on by stronger guys. But when they came they picked on the Goomba.

Goomba: WHY CAN NO ONE RESPECT THE GOOMBA?!

The Goomba jumps out a window and lands on a Pyro Guy (a Shy Guy on fire for you Neanderthals.)

Pyroguy: What was that?

Goomba: WHY?!

John: Ok, that about wraps it up for this Interview. Hey Spak.

Spak: What?

John: Merry Christmas.

(He throws a hammer at Spak,)

Spak: Hey!

John: Hmm... You didn't die, what to do with you. Hm... I know.

(He steals a rope from Mario and is about to lasso Spak.)

(END TRANSMISSION)

Did you like this submission?

Whoops! You're not logged in!
If you were, you could leave the author of this submission some feedback, even vote it into Little Lemmy's Land!
Why not login now?

Fill out the boxes below if you would like to invite a friend to this page.

Friend's
Name
Email (required)

Your
Name
Email

Have you made someone spill his guts? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.