(You can see some kind of title card.)
P.T.’s voice: The interviewers you’re about to see are untrained semi-professionals. Don’t try this at home. Unless you think you can do better. Which you probably can given who these people are.
(P.T. and Punchy are playing Guitar Hero III and are battling.)
P.T.: You will go down!
Punchy: How am I playing this with boxing gloves on?
P.T.: I don’t know.
Punchy: There.
P.T.: Dang it, I wanted to be Slash…
Punchy: Too bad!
P.T.: You’re mean!
Lemmy: P.T, I just got some shocking statistics.
P.T.: What?
Lemmy: Your/my/our/someone’s interview show is popular with certain people. It also doesn’t help that you’ve taken to going long periods of time without interviewing. How HAVE you been paying your bills?
P.T.: Uhhh-
(FLASHBACK!)
P.T.: Puppies for sale! Free puppies!
Bill (in a box): I get paid for this, right?
P.T.: Uhhh-
(END FLASHBACK!)
P.T.: I don’t remember?
Lemmy: Well it’s popular with idiots, Miis, lazy people, the greedy, and the undead.
P.T.: So?
Lemmy: So we need to expand our fanbase. I think you know what I’m going to say.
Punchy: He doesn’t know anything.
Lemmy: True, so I’ll spell it out for you. We need to get a new person on this show.
P.T.: What?! Who cares? We haven’t added anyone new since Mii T. joined at the beginning of the season!
Spike: How he even came to be and why he joined with us remains shrouded in mystery to this day.
Mii T.: Not to mention the reason why I STAY with you guys.
Lemmy: If our ratings don’t go up, I’ll send you to the dungeon!
P.T.: I don’t work for you!
Lemmy: … Hello?! I’m your boss! Say, where’s Bill?
P.T.: I don’t know.
Punchy: So what are you gonna do?
Lemmy: While you two interview, we’re gonna recruit some people for the next Interview.
P.T. and Punchy: D’oh!
(Soon…)
P.T.: We’re interviewing King Sammer. So-
(WHAMMY!)
(There’s tape on P.T.’s mouth.)
Punchy: We’re doing this Interview like a Guitar Battle.
P.T.: (muffled)!
Translation: Good idea!
Punchy: So King Sammer, is it true you’re the fifth King Sammer?
King Sammer: Yes it is!
Punchy: Okay, ne-
(AMP OVERLOAD!)
Punchy: What’s going on with the lights?!
(P.T. rips the tape off his mouth.)
P.T.: Ow! (Now while the lights distract Punchy…) Was your great, great, great grandfather Sammer the first? Or was he your father?
Sammer: My father.
P.T.: So you have 99 siblings?!
Sammer: Yes-
(LEFTY FLIP!)
(P.T.’s turns around and the lights are normal again.)
P.T.: Sammer, where’d you go?
Punchy: How was your father able to have 100 kids?!
Sammer: You should interview my father if you want to know.
(Punchy hits his fists together.)
Sammer: *gulp* But if you want to know, it’s because Sammers are able to do that! It’s natural! Don’t hurt me!
(P.T. turns back around.)
P.T.: Oh, there you guys are. Now-
(BROKEN STRING!)
P.T.: What?!
(P.T. notices a loose thread on his trenchcoat.)
P.T.: Oh noes!
(P.T. runs off to cut it off.)
Punchy: Ha! Now, why is your head shaped like a crown?
Sammer: Royal Sammer Guys have that so the others know which one is the king!
Punchy: Why do you have 100 vassals?
Sammer: Each of us kids got one for Christmas, but then my brothers and sisters realized that they stink, so they gave them all to me, the youngest! Luckily, End Boss was mine originally!
Punchy: You’re the youngest?
Sammer: Yes, every 20th child was named after our father.
(DIFFICULTY UP!)
Punchy: Uhhh… I can’t think of a question! It’s too hard!
(P.T. runs back onstage.)
P.T.: Why did you make Mario fight all your minions if the world was going to end soon?
Sammer: I thought he’d have time to do it!
P.T.: Seriously?
Sammer: Yes. Seriously.
P.T.: Why so seriously?
Sammer: Why so stupid?
P.T.: Touche.
(WHA-
POWER-UP STEAL!
WHAMMY!)
Punchy: (muffled)!
Translation: You stole my whammy!
P.T.: Yeah I did! Did you know about Mimi impersonating you and about Mr. L invading your kingdom?
Sammer: Who are they?
P.T.: Never mind… Audience questions! Seat ALIEN!
Orbulon: What was it like inside the Void?
Sammer: I don’t know, I remember falling asleep while Mario was still fighting my vassals, and next thing I know I’m awake on one of the gates hearing bells!
Orbulon: So it’s just like being asleep?
(Punchy rips the tape off his mouth.)
Punchy: OUCH! No, I think he just slept through the whole thing.
Sammer: Probably.
Punchy: …
P.T.: Seat-
(LEFTY FLIP!)
P.T.: Where’d everybody go?
Punchy: Seat ICAN’TTHINKOFANAMEFORTHISSEATHOWLAME!
Luigi: Are you stronger than any of the Sammer Guys we fought?
Sammer: Oh heavens no! I could probably lose to the first one!
Punchy: Seat LOL!
Francis: How did you get those shweet Catch Cards of the original Paper Mario partners? They’re so HI-TECHNICAAAAAAAAAAA-
Nacho: -OOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Francis: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Both: -OOOOOO/AAAAAAA-
(The Mega Shell runs them over.)
Sammer: The Internet, of course!
InterNed: Huh?
(P.T. turns around.)
P.T.: Oh, there you are. Well that’s all the time we have today. Now GET OUT!
(Everybody leaves.)
(P.T. ROCKS!)
Punchy: Dang it! I’ll get the next one!
Soon...
P.T.: You decide on our character yet?
Lemmy: Yeah, you’re interviewing a Paratroopa next.
P.T.: Uh-huh… END TRANSMISSION!
(Transmission Ended.)
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