(The interview studio is a wreck.)
Lemmy: P.T.!
(P.T. emerges from a pile of garbage.)
P.T.: Huh, wha?
Lemmy: IT’S BEEN AN ENTIRE FUN FICTION SINCE YOUR LAST INTERVIEW! GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND INTERVIEW SOMEONE!
P.T.: Aww, do I have to?
Lemmy: Yes!
P.T.: Dang.
Lemmy: Also, one of you has to come with me to the grocery store.
Shrike: Why?
Lemmy: Not telling!
Spike: I’m too lazy.
Bill: Money?
Lemmy: No.
(Bill hisses at Lemmy.)
Lemmy: … Okay… Maybe I’ll just decide this the old-fashioned way.
(Lemmy walks by P.T.)
Lemmy: Too stupid.
(By Mii T.)
Lemmy: Too Mii-ish.
(By Spike.)
Lemmy: Too lazy.
(By Punchy.)
Lemmy: Too violent.
(By Shrike.)
Lemmy: Too alien.
(By Bill.)
Lemmy: Too greedy… Dang! P.T., everyone in your crew stinks!
P.T.: Well we WERE all under garbage.
Lemmy: That’s beside the point. Okay Spike, you’re going with me.
Spike: No! Never!
(Lemmy drags Spike away.)
P.T.: Okay, you all clean up while Mii T. and I interview someone.
Soon...
P.T.: Welcome back to the jungle- I mean the Interview show, which may or may not have a name! I forgot if we did or not!
Mii T.: Yeah… How many fans do we even have anymore?
P.T.: Enough. I bribed everyone with chocolate.
Audience: No chocolate?
P.T.: Not unless you count that chocolate in the trash can. So… Who are we interviewing again?
Cackletta: Me!
P.T.: Oh, the green lady. Okay, first… How did Peasley find out about your evil plan?
Cackletta: I assume it went something like this…
(FLASHBACK!)
[i]Cackletta: Eyeheheheheh! I, the great Cackletta, shall steal the Beanstar and use Princess Peach’s voice to awaken it so I can takeover the world!
(Peasley crawls away under a giant cardboard box. You can tell it’s him because the box hops onto his flying bean before leaving.[/)
(END FLASHBACK!)
Mii T.: Uh-huh… What are those things on your head?
Cackletta: Horns. Only some Beanish have them. Like Fawful’s antenna.
P.T.: Why did you choose Bowser to possess?
Cackletta: He was the only person we could find! If we’d waited much longer, I would’ve faded away!
P.T.: But why were you in Stardust Fields? Weren’t you knocked EAST of Woohoo Hooniversity?
Cackletta: Yes, Fawful landed in Gwarhar Lagoon and we took the warp pipe there to Stardust Fields.
Mii T.: Why not somewhere else?
Cackletta: That was the first one we could go to and we hadn’t unlocked the one at Joke’s End yet!
Mii T.: …
P.T.: How did you convince the Koopa Troop that you were Bowser?
Cackletta: It took intelligence, cunning, and the ability to supply an army and seven children with Snacky Cakes.
P.T.: Mmm…
Mii T.: P.T.?
(P.T. is just standing there, drooling.)
Mii T.: P.T.?
(Still standing.)
Mii T.: P.T.!
P.T.: Huh, what, Mommy?
Mii T.: …
P.T.: Oh yeah! Are you only able to shapeshift into Lady Lima?
Cackletta: Of course not!
P.T.: And now it’s time for the return of… EXTREME AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!
Mii T.: What?!
P.T.: Seat BACON!
Midbus: Would-
P.T.: No! You have to ask… ON A TIGHTROPE!
(Midbus is on a tightrope over lava.)
Midbus: Would you say your element is lightning?
Cackletta: Yes…
P.T.: Okay!
(P.T. cuts the rope and Midbus falls into the lava. After that he explodes.)
Mii T.: GOOD GRAVY!
P.T.: Seat OMGAGIANTROCK!
Bouldergeist: Was your ability to turn into Dark Bowletta due to Bowser’s body?
Cackletta: I don’t think so, Tim. That was all me!
(Bouldergeist falls through a trapdoor. Then he explodes.)
Mii T.: Uhhh… (Must pick someone invincible…) Seat HEARTLESSMONSTER!
Tubba Blubba: Where did you meet Fawful?
Cackletta: Yard sale.
Tubba: He was hosting a yard sale?
Cackletta: No, he was on sale at one.
Tubba: Of course! It all makes sense now!
P.T.: No sarcasm! You’re exploding twice now!
Tubba: But I wasn’t being-
(He explodes twice.)
Tubba: Ha! I’m invincible!
P.T.: Then I’ll call 4Kids and let them produce your series!
Francis: As if his series wasn’t getting bad enough…
(Francis explodes too.)
Nacho: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
(He explodes.)
Mii T.: RUN AWAY!
(Everyone leaves.)
P.T.: Stop doing that!
Mii T.: Get smarter!
Cackletta: I think I’ll just leave now…
(Cackletta hops down from the stage and passes by the audience. As she passes a chair, it blows up.)
Cackletta: … Ow.
(She falls over. Lemmy comes in with Spike.)
Spike: No more… Can’t shop… Too lazy…
Mii T.: Well I have to admit, it WAS kind of fun interviewing again. And the others DID do a good job cleaning up the place.
Lemmy: And in the end, isn’t that what Interviews are really all about? Having a clean studio? Yes. That is what Interviews are about.
P.T.: Merry Christmas! Or whatever you celebrate.
(Everyone laughs and the camera blacks out.)
Cackletta’s voice: I’m still down here.
Bill: No one cares. End transmission!
(Transmission ended.)
(Now for a scene from Lemmy’s Mansion, dubbed with different voices.)
Lemmy: … Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his Power Level?
(It shows picture of Boolossus.)
P.T.: … IT’S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAND!
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