(the game prince and his Interview crew step onto their stage.)
the game prince: It's that day of the week again...
Lakitu: Yay!
Ludwig: Darn.
the game prince: Only this time, there's a twist, guys...
Ludwig: Oh really?
the game prince: For the first time ever, we are going to take this Interview on the road!
Lakitu: Mobile Interview, yay!
Audience Member: What? Drat, does this mean we have to TRAVEL with you guys?
Lakitu: Not after the Bowser Jr. incident, we can't really trust you guys near an interviewee for now. So I have the pleasure of installing this...
(A giant HD TV springs out of the wall and lands perfectly in place. Lakitu turns on the camera, and an image of the audience appears onscreen.)
the game prince: How did you install THAT in such little time?
Lakitu: Never mind that, let's go.
(The 3 interviewers head out of the studio, as audience members watch where they go on the TV.)
Audience Member: Oh boy, this is gonna be a show for the ages.
Audience Member 2: Yeah, but I didn't pay 12 Koopaling votes to see a television show.
Mario: 12? I had to pay 50! PLUS TAX!
Lemmy: I just don't like you.
_______________
the game prince: We're almost there, guys!
Lakitu: The sewers? This isn't fun.
the game prince: Yes, that's where our interviewee is.
Lakitu: Interviewee in the sewers? Who exactly are we going to interview?
(They all jump into a hole and land in a very dark, wet passage.)
Voice: I see you have made it... Yahahahaha!
Lakitu: EEEEEP!
the game prince: FIRST QUESTION! Who are you?
Boo: I'm a Boo, an average, generic Boo.
the game prince: Why did you choose to live in a sewer?
Boo: Look, it's got an eerie, dark feel. There's lots of darkness, which us Boos love. Not to mention the creepy crawly Wigglers and Buzzy Beetles around here... They'll attack you in your sleep here if you aren't used to it!
Lakitu: EEEEP!
Ludwig: Stop that. Please, this is just like your Bowser Jr. Interview...
the game prince: Don't even remind me of that, Ludwig.
Boo: I have seen that Interview... I was the audience member in the seat in the darkest corner. And yes, you can try to flee, but you cannot escape this place. EVER.
Lakitu: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THAT?
the game prince: Okay, here's a good question, what does it feel like to turn invisible? And how do you stick your tongues that far out?
Boo: Since we are spirits, we have the potential to do things average lifeforms can't. Like with my tongue, for example. And it is not hard to turn invisible, it's actually harder to stay visible. All I have to do is even think the word inviiable and-
(POOF!)
Lakitu: Uh... Where'd he go?
Boo (behind Lakitu): BOOOOO!
Lakitu: AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
(Lakitu flies away, somewhere down the pipe.)
Boo: You'll never be seeing that poor sap again... Bwahahaha!
the game prince: WHY did you do that?
Boo: It's our job to scare people. It's not like we have anything else to do but make mischief with our ectoplasmic lives, you know? And it's fun scaring unsuspecting people with our immortal abilities!
the game prince: If you have these abilities, why did you only attack by flying and cackling in SMB3?
Boo: Look, the NES didn't have great capabilities...
the game prince: Don't blame Nintendo!
Boo: Fine, I was ordered by Bowser not to attack just by scaring, since it's harmless, just a little shock.
the game prince: Bowser ruins good humor.
________________
Bowser (in audience, back in the studtio): I heard that!
Audience Member: Who cares anyway...?
Audience Member 2: I can't see a thing on the screen, it's pitch black!
Mario: I paid over 50 Koopaling votes for this and it's not even as good as television...
_________________
Ludwig: I have a feeling that the audience is tiring of this Interview. We must return to the studio.
the game prince: Right, right... Hey Boo... Do any of your powers include teleportation?
Boo: No, but I'm sure I can find a place where you can teleport.
(The crew walk down the passage for a long while and eventually wander into a small room.)
Boo: This is a part of some plumbing system.
the game prince: That thing over there, is that a warp pipe?
Boo: That's what I use. Go ahead, it's not mine, but I don't worry about laws. I'm a ghost.
the game prince: Okay... Let's go- TO THE STUDIO!
Ludwig: Definitely!
(Boo, Ludwig, and the game prince are warped to the studio.)
audience: So THAT's your interviewee?
the game prince: What? You missed the Interview?
Audience Member: Well, the screen was pitch black in the beginning, and now...
(The screen shows Lakitu fighting off Wigglers and Buzzy Beetles that are swarming all over him and his cloud.)
Lakitu: BACK! BACK! STAY BACK!
the game prince: So... Lakitu had the camera, and he ran off. Great.
Lemmy: I'd give the show a zero, but I managed to find humor in watching this Lakitu get pummeled. 10/10!
Boo: So is that all?
the game prince: Yep, you can go home.
Boo: Funny thing about that, you know how there's no way out? There's no way in either.
the game prince: ...
Boo: Thanks a lot, guys. Now the only way to get home is to find that pipe place again, wherever that is.
(The Boo disappears.)
Lakitu: GASP, GASP... I'm... I'm back, p-people.
Ludwig: How?
Lakitu: Found the pipe. Now where'd the Boo go? The Interview isn't over yet.
Lemmy: Aw, you lived? This Interview deserves a 2.
Boo: I'm still here, only hiding in the darkness. Remember the corner of the studio I mentioned earlier?
the game prince: Next question, then... In Paper Mario: TTYD, you hated to use technology. Why is that?
Boo: I really can't trust that kind of stuff, what with its viruses and imperfections and things. Not to mention, I can't be sure it even processes info safely. You could tell I was as cautious as ever when I wrote Mario that Email, and I still doubted it's capabilities. I hate computers.
(Boo throws a huge boulder at Lakitu's HD TV.)
Lakitu: WHY?
the game prince: Where did that boulder come from?
Boo: I can summon objects.
the game prince: Yet, you can't teleport...
Boo: Pretty much.
the game prince: Audience Q&A time. Seat ROYALTY-TO-THE-INTERVIEWEE!
King Boo: Are you one of my underlings?
Boo: Actually, no. I serve Bowser.
King Boo: I thought all the Boos were my underlings, though...
Boo: Well then, how did Boos get in Bowser's fortresses and castles?
the game prince: Good point.
Lakitu: Seat... CLOUDY DAY!
the game prince: If you want to ask a question, you don't have to call upon yourself.
Lakitu: Fine. Can't you go through walls?
Boo: Yes.
Lakitu: Then why do you need a warp pipe to get in and out of your sewer?
Boo: There's a difference between plumbing and walls, you know. Stupid Nintendo, making pipes 100 percent solid.
the game prince: Don't blame Nintendo! And Lakitu, that was two questions.
Lakitu: Oops.
the game prince: Seat YOSHI!
Yoshi: Yoshi!
Boo: No, I never do. It's pointless.
the game prince: Seat MASKED AND MINIATURE!
Shyguy: How did you just understand what the Yoshi said?
Boo: Plit creatures can comprehend one another in most cases.
Shyguy: Then why couldn't I?
Boo: First of all, I said in most cases. Also, you're a Sub-con creature.
the game prince: Seat-
Flurry: You aren't biased against Sub-con, are you?
Phanto: Yeah!
Boo: No, I just pointed out that I only comprehend some Plit creatures, and not all Sub-con creatures.
Flurry: That is mean.
Lemmy: This is boring.
Ludwig: And this is Ludwig!
the game prince: And this is the end!
END TRANSMISSION!
Lakitu: How many times do I have to tell you?
the game prince: Oh yeah. This is a submission.
(END SUBMISSION!)
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