Bandy Andy: I'm on in ten minutes, where's the cameraman?
(At that moment the cameraman is eating ice cream.)
Cameraman: Yum!
(A rock falls out of the sky and hits the cameraman.)
Bandy Andy's Creator: What in the world are you doing? Get to the studio now!
Camera Man: How?
Bandy Andy's Creator: Via plothole!
Cameraman: No way am I doing that.
(A rock falls out of the sky and hits him again.)
Bandy Andy's Creator: Never disobey me!
Back at the studio...
Bandy Andy: Ludwig, invent a cameraman now!
Ludwig: No way.
Bandy Andy: DO IT, FOOLISH MORTAL, BEFORE I MAKE YOU EAT HUMAN BRAINS AND INTESTINES!
Ludwig: No recurring jokes.
Bandy Andy: Oh poot, we're on now.
(Ludwig spins the interviewee wheel. It lands on Bandit.)
Bandy Andy: Yayz! We get to interview myself!
Dupilghost: Um, no sir, we don't.
(Bandy chucks him out the window.)
Ludwig: Three story drop.
Bandy Andy: No, four.
Ludwig: Let's just get on with it.
Bandy Andy: All right, and welcome to Bandy Andy's Interview Show! Where we will be interviewing my-
Ludwig: I said a Bandit!
Bandy Andy: -friend, Bandit!
Audience: Boo!
(Bandy pulls out a hammer and whacks Ludwig on the head with it.)
Ludwig: Ow...
Bandy Andy: That goes for anyone who boos again!
(The audience is quiet except for one Toad.)
Random Toad: Boo!
(Bandy grabs Ludwig and uses him as a bat. The Toad flies out the window.)
Ludwig: Ambulance...
(Ludwig faints.)
Bandy Andy: Now let’s get on with the show. All right, first question. How come you like to steal things?
Bandit: Because we are too cool to buy stuff!
(A laptop comes out of the sky and hits the Bandit on the head.)
Bandit: Ouch!
Bandy Andy's Creator: I am all powerful!
Goomba: No you’re not!
(The Goomba gets squished by a brick.)
Bandy Andy's Creator: Told you!
Bandit: Ok, the real answer is we are too stupid to work.
(Bandy is laughing his head off.)
Bandy Andy: Hahahahah!
Bandit: Oh, shut up!
Bandy Andy: All right, question number two. Why are you wearing blue while other Bandits wear red?
Bandit: Blue signals master thief!
Bandy Andy: Wrong answer!
(A pie flies out of the wall and hits Bandit.)
Bandit: Yuck, cricket pie! The real answer is it's just random.
Bandy Andy: Question number three. Why do you have a mask?
(Bandy starts to tug at the mask.)
Bandit: That's not a mask! Haven't you ever played Paper Mario?
Bandy Andy: Yes, why?
Bandit: Um, because my face moves in that game!
Bandy Andy: Oh. Well, time for audience questions! Seat 59.
Parrakarry: Do you steal anything? Or only real valuable stuff?
Bandit: Blue Bandits steal only precious things, so yeah.
Bandy Andy: Seat 457.
Mario: Do you like cheese?
Bandit: No I don't.
Bandy Andy: Aggghhhhhhh!!! Guards! Get this madman outta here!
Mario: But Cheese is yummy. Now take Cheese for example, Cheese is yummy!
(Bandy faints.)
Bandit: I guess this means END TRANS-
Ludwig: No, one more question. Seat 235.
Wendy O. Koopa: Do you like makeup?
Bandit: No way!
Wendy O. Koopa: You stink!
(A rock hits Wendy on the head.)
Ludwig: Geez, so much violence that I'm not a part of. That's not for long!
(Ludwig grabs Bandy's unconscious body and starts beating up audience members.)
Bandit: NOW GET-
Ludwig: No reoccurring jokes!
Bandit: Fine! END TRANSMISSION!
(The End)
Bandy Andy: I get the last say in things! So die!
(Bandy runs the audience over with a truck.)
Bandy Andy: END TRANSMISSION! For real this time.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |