TANK: Hello- Where is everyone?
Silence...
TANK: Umm… Hello?
Echo: Hello. Hello. Hello.
TANK: Good, I’m not alone
(The echo repeats.)
TANK: Ok, stop copying me.
(The echo repeats again..)
TANK: Ok, that does it!
(TANK grabs his grenade launcher.)
TANK: WANT TO COPY ME NOW?!
(The echo repeats and TANK blows up the roof.)
TANK: Good, it stopped. Ok, today I will be interviewing Lakitu!
(Lakitu flies in.)
Lakitu: Hello.
TANK: Shut up! Now get ready for a nightmare, as there are no witnesses!
Lakitu: I will fix that.
(Lakitu throws Spiny eggs at all the chairs and they hatch.)
TANK: AWW man. Ok, first question. Where do you get Spiny eggs? And if you mention ANYTHING about a pet store owned by Bob I will EAT you.
Lakitu: Actually we get them from Fred’s pet store!
(TANK slaps Lakitu.)
Lakitu: I deserved that.
TANK: Yes you did. Why do you throw them?
Lakitu: Because they are our only weapons. With the exception of Lakitus that throw hammers.
TANK: Speaking of which, why do some throw hammers? Bowser being a cheapskate again?
Lakitu: Actually no. They are Hammer Bros. that were given clouds to attack Mario from the air.
TANK: Why did you guys use 1-Ups to lure Mario and then kill him?
Lakitu: Because that was the only thing that would lure him.
(Mario can be seen getting into Bowser’s Clown Copter after being offered a 1-Up Mushroom.)
TANK: But if you did kill him, he would still have another life. If I were you I would used one of those black Mushrooms with the skulls on them.
Lakitu: Yea, that makes sense an- Those are poisonous, right?
TANK: Yes.
Lakitu: I accidentally put one in a pilot’s breakfast.
TANK: Oh. I’m sure he didn’t eat-
(A plane crashes.)
TANK: Never mind. Where do you get the cloud?
Lakitu: Wasn’t this already answered by a guy named Dark Koo-
(TANK slaps Lakitu again.)
TANK: If you say that guy’s name, Lemmy will kill me! Oh, he’s already dead, so that doesn’t matter. So say his name.
Lakitu: I forgot.
TANK: Ok. Just answer the question.
Lakitu: Well I guess we just get born with them.
TANK: Can you walk without the cloud?
Lakitu: Yes, but not very fast. We are quite short.
TANK: *in an evil voice*: Interesting.
(Lakitu grabs a revolver in his pocket.)
TANK: Last question. What are your weaknesses?
Lakitu: Fire, being jumped on, and having things thrown at us.
TANK: *in the same evil voice*: Even more interesting!
(Lakitu takes out the revolver and aims it at TANK.)
TANK: Oh, don’t make me laugh.
(TANK aims his grenade launcher at Lakitu, who puts his revolver away.)
TANK: Ok, audience questions. Seat 50
Spiny: What do we look like before we hatch?
Lakitu: Just spiked balls.
TANK: Seat 3.
Spiny: Are we related to Buzzy Beetles and Spike Tops?
Lakitu: Yes, but you are the only ones thrown at Mario.
TANK: Seat 99,999,999,999,999.
Spiny: TANK STINKS!
(TANK blows up that seat with his grenade launcher.)
TANK: Well let’s end this in a bloody fashion.
(A giant fan appears in the ceiling and pulls all the Spinies in along with the Lakitu.)
TANK: Well I guess I will fix this studio, so END TRANSMISSION.
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