(Lemmy flies through the ceiling and hits the floor.)
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show! And why didn’t my parachute work?
(Wario can be seen in the audience smiling.)
Tank: Ooooook then... Anyway, this is my first Interview so please be kind.
Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Tank grabs a grenade launcher and aims it at the audience.)
Audience: We mean YAY!
Tank: Thank you. Now today I will be interviewing the weakest of all Mario characters. Please welcome Goomba!
(Goomba walks onto the stage and falls off, dieing.)
Tank: Well that was inconvenient, guess we’ll have to-
(A Goomba runs onto the stage, panting.)
Goomba: Don’t-worry-you-can-interview-me. We-come-in-large-numbers.
Tank: Ok, sit down. So, first question, what is the deal with betraying the Mushroom Kingdom to serve Bowser?
Goomba: We were getting really tired of Peach telling us what to do all the time. We never got a chance to do what we wanted. So one day, a guy flying around in a car looking like a clown came up to the Mushroom Kingdom and said to the Goombas that if they joined the Koopa Kingdom, we would be treated fairly. We all believed him and now serve him. BAD mistake.
Bowser: Say it.
Goomba: Oh come on, Lord. Do I have to?
Bowser: I SAID SAY IT!!!
Goomba: *rolls eyes* All hail Bowser!
Tank: He makes you say that all the time?
Goomba: Yes. He is a bit of a slave driver.
Tank: No kidding. Anywho, why are you so weak?
Goomba: Because that cheapskate Bowser thinks that because there are so many of us, he doesn’t need to train us.
(Bowser can be seen crawling around on the floor, eating popcorn he’s too cheap to buy.)
Tank, Goomba, and everyone in the audience: EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Wario: What’s wrong with that?
(Wario starts doing the same thing as Bowser, eating someone’s car keys in the process.)
Random Guy: DUDE, WHERES MY CAR KEYS?!
(Wario starts whistling.)
Tank: Riiiiiiight. Anyway, what are your stats?
Goomba: 2 HP, 1 Attack, and 0 Defense. Paragoombas are the same except you can’t hammer them, you have to jump on them. Spiked Goombas have a stronger attack than us and can’t be jumped on.
Tank: Speaking of which, why do some Goombas wear spiked hats and others don’t?
Goomba: They are a higher rank than us so they get a spiked hat. And because of what a cheapskate Bowser is, he doesn’t bother getting all Goombas a spiked hat.
(Bowser, still on the ground, gets his tongue stuck to something on the ground and starts screaming.)
Tank: Last question, why did you spit out spikes in Super Mario RPG?
Goomba: Those Goombas seemed to like cacti, and spit the thorns at their enemies
Tank: Well it’s time for audience questions. Seat 43.
Random Guy: I SAID DUDE, WHERES MY CAR KEYS?
Goomba: I don’t know.
Tank: Seat 9.
Waluigi: WAH!!!
Tank: Seriously, this already? Seat 71.
Indiana Jones: Short Round, don’t touch anything!
Goomba: Were you calling me short?
Indiana Jones: Ummmmm… No, I was calling you fat.
Goomba: Ok then- Hey, wait a minute! You’re lying!
Indiana Jones: Rats! Foiled again!
(Indy takes out his whip and grabs one of the ceiling fans and swings away. He crashes through the wall, leaving a hat-shaped hole in the wall for some reason, as suddenly out of nowhere, the Indiana Jones theme starts playing)
Tank: I’m going to hate this job with all these cameos. Well, let’s throw this Goomba in the desert and end this Interview.Goomba: Wait, what are you going to do-(Just then the Goomba is stuffed into a bag which is then hit with a shovel and stuffed into a truck.)Tank: Lastly, seat 1.Luigi: What are your weaknesses?Goomba: Getting jumped on.(Just then a blue Lakitu flies in and drops a piano on Luigi.)Tank: Hey, don’t I know you?
Lakitu: No.
Tank: Okay
Lemmy: Well I guess I will end trans-
(Lemmy’s parachute all of a sudden goes off, rendering him stuck in the hallway.)
Lemmy: Uhhhh, help me. Help me, please!
Tank: Sorry, can’t hear you. END TRANSMISSION!
Hours later...
Lemmy: Help me! I’m hungry. AAHHHHH! SPIDERS! HELP ME!!!
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