Bandit: Hello everybody, and welcome to... E.Gadd and Bandit Interviews!
E.Gadd: We are now going to interview Paper Mario characters!
Bandit: Oh, we'll go back to the other game characters after we interview all of the interesting Paper Mario characters.
E.Gadd: Today we're going to interview one of the most interesting characters of them all.
Bandit: That's right Professor, give it up for... Tubba Blubba!!!
(Tubba Blubba walks onstage.)
E.Gadd: First question, how smart ARE you?
Tubba Blubba: Actually, I'm not as idiotic as most think. I'm restarting school, and hope to go to the Hooniversity!
Bandit: What grade are you in?
Tubba Blubba: I'm a freshman at the high school.
E.Gadd: Second question, what has become of your castle?
Tubba Blubba: To pay for school, I turned the castle into a hotel.
Bandit: What about the Clubbas?
Tubba Blubba: They're the staff of our hotel.
Bandit: Odd... Third question! When are you going to go on a diet!
Tubba Blubba: I've been working out, trying to turn the fat into muscle!
E.Gadd: Last question, who is your archenemy?!
Tubba Blubba: MACHO GRUBBA!!!
Bandit: Why?
Tubba Blubba: He's a copy of me. Our names are almost the same, we look almost the same, and that’s the same for all of Mario's partners! Kooper and Koops, Bombette and Bobbery, Goombario and Goombella, and Bow and Flurry! ALL THE SAME!!!
E.Gadd: You've got a point!
Bandit: One more question, what is your goal in life?
Tubba Blubba: To become the prime minister of the Mushroom Kingdom!
Peach: We have a prime minister?
E.Gadd: Yeah, I think it's Toadsworth or something. The Prime pminister is in charge of the military... I think.
Bandit: Now, questions from the audience. You in seat number 197.
Macho Grubba: IT'S ON, TUBBA!!!
E.Gadd: Number 458.
Mario: Where did you go when I beat you?!
Tubba Blubba: Hid until you were gone and then rebuilt the castle.
Bandit: Number 1.
Bowser: Want to work with me again?
Tubba Blubba: No way!
Bandit: How's about you in number 451?
Flare: Can you get me out of this lantern?
Tubba Blubba: How will that benefit me?
Flare: ...
E.Gadd: You in seat no. 333?
Morton: Who's working the lights?
Lantern: I AM!!!
Bandit: He took your job... YOU FAIL!!!
Morton: ...
E.Gadd: Plummeting to his death...
Bandit: What was that?
E.Gadd: Sorry, I'm reading a book.
Bandit: Any more questions?
(The whole audience put their hands up.)
Bandit: For Tubba Blubba?
(All the hands go down except for one.)
E.Gadd: Last one, no. 238?
Mr. Kite: Do you like going fishing?
Tubba Blubba: ... Sure...
Mr. Kite: GREAT!!!
Bandit: I have a question. Are you good at fighting?
Tubba Blubba: I think so. Mario only beat me because my heart was weakened and I was low on health.
Fawful: They’re here!!!
E.Gadd: Who?
Fawful: Them!
(Crash!)
Axem Rangers: What’s with you guys only interviewing Paper Mario characters? What about us?!
Mr. Kite: Scat, you guys aren't worth the trouble!
Axem Rangers: You givin’ us lip, old man?
Mr. Kite: YOU BET I AM!!!
Bandit: Professor, this is getting out of control. PRESS THE BUTTON!!!
(E.Gadd presses a button.)
Axem Rangers: What was that about?
Bandit: Oh, you'll see soon.
(The Axem Rangers are flung out of the building by a spring in the floor.)
E.Gadd: You can't beat the classics.
Bandit: Especially when it's a spring in the tile!
Mr. Kite: I should teach those punks a lesson!
E.Gadd: No, we need them, they make us feel better about ourselves.
Larry: Soon we'll have to stop, we're going over our limit.
Bandit: Who cares? Nobody else uses this room except us.
Larry: That was an excuse, we're running out of film.
Tubba Blubba: Goodbye.
(Tubba Blubba leaves.)
Bandit: ...
(The audience leaves.)
E.Gadd: That’s all, I guess.
Bandit: END TRANSMISSION... END IT!!!
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