(Fawful is seen tied up on a poker table. A bunch of rabid possums are playing poker for his belongings.)
Boom: Now that I’ve sold Fawful’s soul to the possums, I’m going to interview Bob-omb. This should be fun…
Bob-omb: Hi… Let’s get started.
Boom: Okay, so, what ARE you?
Bob-omb: I’m a living bomb. Kamek made us in Yoshi’s Story to take the baby Yoshis down.
Boom: Grr…
Fawful: Don’t kill him… He’ll just return the fav- ACK!
Possum: Quiet, foo’. We’re playing Texas hold ‘em for your spleen.
Bob-omb: Okay, so ask me questions
Boom: What’s the difference between good Bob-ombs and bad ones?
Bob-omb: Well, the good ones can be any color they want, and so can the bad ones. But if you mean “bad” as in referring to the ones that are under the control of Lord Bowser, then I would tell you that they are all required to wear the uniform provided for them, or black paint.
Boom: Why are there good Bob-ombs, if Kamek made them? Wouldn’t they all be bad?
Bob-omb: Kamek originally intended Bob-ombs to be intelligent members of society who planned, and wouldn’t have to attack until Yoshi blew their fuse and they exploded, killing Yoshi. That’s how it started, making smarter Bob-ombs that could reform, like me. They were smart enough to ditch us, so he made dumber ones that are over-aggressive and don’t reform. Sadly, it seems like there are two different races of Bob-omb now, those that can reform and those can cannot.
Boom: Wow, Bob-ombs have some nice history. Are you smart enough to like Yoshis?
Bob-omb: Yes, in fact I am. My good friend Bobbery traveled with one.
Boom: Do you, in fact, have hands?
Bob-omb: Yes! They were in the Paper Mario ending parade!
Boom: Then why don’t we see them anywhere else?
Bob-omb: Okay, we don’t have them… We just taped gloves onto our bodies and gave “thumbs up” to everybody.
Boom: How do you move things, then?
Bob-omb: We control the whole bomb, right? We were smart enough to pull out some of our gunpowder and make it float around us. We blanket the items with it and float it up.
Boom: And Big Bob-omb, what’s his deal? Is he your king or is he a high-ranking official?
Bob-omb: It’s a long story. A while ago some of the smarter Bob-ombs formed a gang called “The Bob-omb Buddies”.
Fawful: Doesn’t sound that threatening to- OOF!
(The possums wink at Boom.)
Bob-omb: Anyhoo, they stole some Power Stars from Bowser in the events of SM64. Kamek took immediate action by enlarging another Bob-omb, giving him, a crown, declaring him “king”, and sending his troops to the Bob-omb Battlefield. After a war, most of the Bob-omb Buddies retreated, while others manned cannons. King Bob-omb had taken the stars. Mario had to kill him to get them, and he did-
Boom: Why didn’t King Bob-omb explode?
Bob-omb: I was just getting to that! He never exploded due to the fact that he could not reform. Anyway, after being defeated twice, he was so angry he… blew up. Kamek can always revive him, but for now, he’s dead.
Boom: Wow, you’re providing a whole lot of insight for an Interview, expressing many points about the Bob-omb kingdom… STOP BEING INSIGHTFUL, HELPFUL, AND DETAILED. THIS INTERVIEW IS GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE GO OH, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED. NOT HAHAHA. IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HAHAHA, SO BE FUNNY!!!
(Bob-omb is suddenly dressed up like a clown.)
Boom: (sarcastically) Ha. Ha.
Bob-omb: Don’t you feel the urge to learn something about us?
Boom: Sadly, I do, so I can’t kill you yet… What is your relationship with Wario?
Bob-omb: Some of the bad Bob-ombs started doubting Bowser after multiple failures, so they went over to Wario. He treated them nicely, made them feel happy and at home, gave them generous gifts… Then, while they were so happy, they signed the contract. Now half of the black Bob-ombs in the world are in the possession of Wario, who treats them as his eternal slaves, and they can’t do anything about it.
Boom: That’s… sad… I HATE EMOTIONS, SO LET’S FINISH THIS INTERVIEW QUICKLY!!! Why do plain old Bob-ombs appear in the Beanbean kingdom instead of a bean-based copy?
Bob-omb: We are machines. We don’t eat, which means we don’t get Bean Fever and become beans.
Boom: GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!! This is NOT what my Interviews are!
(BOOM!)
Bob-omb: Oh really?
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
Fawful: My studio! : (
Bob-omb: End transmission!
Whoops! You're not logged in! |