Fawful: Today we have a special guest… Hoagy the Nethog, a hedgehog with a laptop, and his partner, Hammie the FireHamster!
Toad: *gasp* Umm… Sir, we have a problem! Hammie hasn’t arrived, and Hoagy has locked himself in a closet and will drink poison if we don’t meet his demands. We need your help!
(Fawful goes to the closet.)
Fawful: Drink it! Drink it!
Hoagy: I can’t… I dropped it. : (
Fawful: Someone get him another bottle quickly!
()
Cameraman: We need to start the show!
Lemmy: We can’t without our cute, adorable, mascots!
Cameraman: Too late.
Lemmy: Sorry, we are experiencing technical difficulties.
Cameraman: Interview the Koopa!
Lemmy: But I am one…
Cameraman: PRETEND TO BE SURPRISED, GOSHDARNIT.
Lemmy: I’ll do it if I can have a fruit punch
(C-man gives Lemmy a fruit punch)
Koopa: Ask me a question. : )
Lemmy: How do you contract into your shell?
Koopa: Well, our bodies are composed of a formless rubber material that can squeeze through anything.
Lemmy: Why do you wear a shell?
Koopa: Our rubber-like bodies would collapse without a shell holding them up.
(Lemmy sips his fruit punch)
()
Toad: Your poison, sir!
(Fawful gives the poison to Hoagy, somehow Hoagy drinks it and barfs. The barf lands on Boom’s shoes somehow.)
Boom: *twitch, twitch*
Fawful: Someone get the mop quickly!
Hoagy: It’s in here!
(BOOM!)
()
(Lemmy sips his fruit punch)
Lemmy: Do you like Super Mushrooms?
Koopa: No… Who would want those awful things! Only a fat, Italian plumber would eat those!
Lemmy: Then why do Koops and Kooper eat them?
Koopa: Mario forced them to, as he wouldn’t buy them meat
Lemmy: And do you like being a Koopa?
Koopa: YEAH! We’re invincible if we hide in our shells!
(Lemmy sips his fruit punch.)
()
Dust Cloud that Used to be Fawful: I wonder what a Koopa’s favorite food is?
Boom: GRAVY!
()
Lemmy: It is?!
Koopa: Yup. Gravy is the pure essence of meat. If you played TTYD, you’d know how Bowser grows when he eats it.
Lemmy: Do you hate anything?
(A Shy Guy runs up and hits him with a banana cream pie.)
Koopa: AARGH!
Lemmy: What?
Koopa: Fruits and veggies are the opposite of meat!
(Hammie the FireHamster enters in his kart, being chased by a bunch of policemen)
Hammie: You’ll never get me, coppers! Mr. Pineapple, take the wheel!
(Hammie puts his pineapple in the driver’s seat and rides shotgun while shooting at the policemen with his Super Scope. The kart swerves and runs into Boom)
(BOOM!)
Lemmy: That was weird. Now, Koopa, how are you related to Troopeas?
Koopa: Well, when some Koopas moved to the Beanbean Kingdom many years ago, they got bean fever and turned into beans, hence, Troopeas. The same thing happened with Goombas and Beanies, and Toads and Bean People.
(Lemmy sips his fruit punch)
Lemmy: Why did Koopas start off on all fours, and move up to bipedal? Were those different kinds of Koopas, or did they evolve?
Koopa: Well, Bowser started out by sending out his dumber, more primitive troops, before bringing out smarter ones. Too bad some of the smarter ones were smart enough to ditch him.
Boom: Is that pie on your face?
Koopa: Yes.
Boom: Can I have some?
Koopa: No.
(BOOM!)
Lemmy: Well, that’s all we have today, folks-
(BOOM!)
Boom: I want pie!
(Boom blasts his cannon one more time in a desperate attempt to get pie. It hits a satellite and blasts everyone.)
Pile of Dust that Used to be Fawful: Now look what you’ve done!
Pile of Dust that Used to be Boom: End Transmission!
(Hoagy jumps out of the closet, holding a banana like a gun.)
Hoagy: Put your hands up, everybody!
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