Kroshi: Welcome to Fireball's Interview Show!
Mario: Who are you?
Kroshi: I am Kroshi the Yoshi, as you can randomly see.
Lancelet: Uh... Randomly? I have to guess where to look now?
Kroshi: I am black and white, with orange shoes. And, I am Fireball's best friend to date!
Endark: Really? I would've thought that a person like you would've got front row seats to his previous shows... or a free ticket... or at LEAST have been allowed into the studio. Then again, this IS Fireball I'm talking about...
Luigi: Great, another crazy person like Fireball. Just what we need.
(Kroshi kicks Luigi.)
Lancelet: Ooh... That has GOT to bruise!
Endark: Let's just start this show; I haven't even had time to read that “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Official Casebook, Vol. 1” I got from Fireball yesterday, and I can't wait to go through it! ... Oh, and he also got me "The Great Star Path". Cractus was right; that film stunk.
Lancelet: Okay then; let's get this show rolling! So, today's guest is... Mr. Blizzard. Another snowman, this soon after Dr. Freezegood? It's going to be hard to think up brand new questions, but we'll give it a try, folks! So, Krosh, as the friend of the host, you can start things off.
Kroshi: I have no idea who's interviewing with me...
(Kroshi looks at Endark.)
Kroshi: I've heard bad things about you, loser!
Endark: Relax; your partner for the show is Mr. Cabal there, AKA the overly optimistic archer. Of course, if you had just glanced at the title, I wouldn't have needed to tell you.
Lancelet: Uh... Title?
Endark: It's a fourth wall thing; you couldn't possibly understand.
Kroshi: Well, Mr. Blizzard, who randomly came out of nowhere...
Mr. Blizzard: I've been here since the show started, and I just never felt the need to make myself known.
Kroshi: ...I will ask you the first, and maybe final, question.
Endark: My, this is certainly going to be a short episode.
Kroshi: Do the arms help a lot?
Mr. Blizzard: What a stupid question... but, this is Fireball's friend I'm talking to. Yes, they do help a lot, and I use them in many ways, including making snowballs, throwing them at enemies, reading books, etc. When no one looks, though, they sometimes fall off. That's embarrassing!
Kroshi: That sure was boring!
Endark: Agreed. Now, let's pack up and-
Lancelet: Hold it right there, you two! There is no way that I'm letting this show end with a single question!
Endark: Because you get paid more money if you ask more questions?
Lancelet: No, because we need a minimum of five questions to even get this thing on the air! So you two had better stay right where you are, or else!
Endark: Oh, please. Like I'd ever listen to-
Lancelet: I SAID STAY RIGHT THERE!
Endark: ... Yes'm.
(Endark stays where he is.)
Kroshi: Since when does Endark listen to others, in my time being here? But I guess he's a chicken then.
Lancelet: Thank you. Now, Mr. Blizzard, our last snowman guest told us that he was jealous of you because of your arms, and because you've had more recent appearances than he has. What are your feelings towards Dr. Freezegood?
Mr. Blizzard: Well, even if he can't control where he goes, at least he can move. I'm stuck in one place until I get defeated, and I have to rely on others to fetch me stuff like food and books. So, in that respect, I kinda envy him as much as he's jealous of me.
Kroshi: You're jealous!
Mr. Bilzzard: Now, that might be putting it a bit too-
Luigi: It would be wise not to argue.
Kroshi: I agree, and next question, what were you doing in Mario Party 4, when you were throwing huge snowballs at Mario and Co?
Mr. Blizzard: I was trying to get revenge for not being invited by ruining his stupid little PARTY! It's no fair; they had Boos and Shy Guys as hosts, while I only got a couple of brief cameos! And I would do so... well... sometimes. When it comes to throwing stuff, that is.
Kroshi: Well that was a waste of time. Well, that's the end of our Interview-
Lancelet: IN THE NAME OF WENDOLYN, SIT DOWN!
(Kroshi sits down immediately.)
Endark: ... Who's Wendolyn?
Lancelet: My mom. I didn't want to upset anyone religious, so I just chose the name of the most respectful person I know. Now, we've got two questions left, MINIMUM, and I'm sure that we'll need to ask more than that in order to get good reviews! Now, Mr. Blizzard... How come you're just a Mister? I mean, if Freezegood found the time to be a psychologist, how come you're still just an average Joe? ... No offense to you or anyone named Joe, of course.
Mr. Blizzard: Well, Freezegood had Bumpties to help him out, while my closest companions were those Moneybag enemies... You know, the ones that look like coins at first, and then change into green purses with yellow eyes? Anyways, they couldn't really do much in the teaching department unless I wanted to become an accountant, and that seems kinda boring.
Lancelet: I see... at least, I think I see. It's kinda hard to understand these things with so little evidence, y'know?
Kroshi: Leave the loser be... Only doctors are cool! Not misters!
Luigi: I take full offense!
Kroshi: What?!
(Kroshi kicks Luigi in the shin and ties his shoes together.)
Luigi: I'm beginning to become one of you! NOOOO!
Kroshi: Good for you. Next question, what do you think of Waluigi... What? I'm running out of questions here! And this is one of WT's favorites, I hear.
Mr. Blizzard: He's a swell guy, but has a lot of bad points. He's a greedy, thoughtless, athletic, nasty, scheming, purple tall guy! So, I don't really like him. If I had to rate him on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being worst, I'd give him a 2.
(Parakarry immediately flies into the studio.)
Parakarry: Telegram for Mr. Fireball! It's from somebody named WT.
Lancelet: FB's not here, so I'll take it.
(Parakarry delivers the message, and then flies off.)
Endark: So, what does that orange-clad nitwit have to share with us?
Lancelet: It says... “ARRRRRRRRGGGGHHH! PS, I've caught laryngitis, in case you're wondering why I had to mail this. PSS, This is going to become a stupid running gag, so don't ask that Waluigi question for a while, okay?'
Kroshi: WT sounds... how shall I say this... annoying!
Lancelet: Oh, he's a really nice guy once you get to know him.
Endark: Amazing how fast mail can travel these days, is it not?
Wario: Indeed.
Lancelet: Back to the Interview! Mr. Blizzard, since we asked Freezegood if he'd like to be in new games, are there any games from the past that you would've liked to be in?
Mr. Blizzard: Well, from the old generation of Mario games, Super Mario Brothers 3 seems to be the only one I'd fit in, since it is the only one I can remember that had icy stages. I think I would've been a nice roadblock since I can throw snowballs further or higher than a Hammer or Boomerang Bro when I need to. Of course, I'd be stuck in place, but a great offense makes for a good defense, I hear.
(Fireball comes into the Interview studio.)
Fireball: Hey, welcome to my Interview-
Kroshi: We’re in the middle of the Interview!
Endark: Good thing your friend here was able to fill in... if Kroshi here really IS your friend. I'd still like to see some kind of written evidence.
Fireball: Oh... I'm late again... I'll just sit over in seat 56random.
Kroshi: Cool. Next question, if you could have any name other than Mr. Blizzard, what would it be?
Mr. Blizzard: Dr. Blizzard, I always wanted to be called a doctor. Plus, I can help bad guys defeat Mario and Co.
Fireball: ... No one is going to say it! *sigh* Guess I'm going to... BORING!
Lancelet: Now, FB, that's very rude! ... But true. If you could get to this studio, you could go to a medical school. And you already help bad guys trying to defeat Mario by fighting alongside them, so I don't see how being a doctor could change that.
Endark: First you yell at me, then you criticize the interviewee... I'm not certain what happened to you, but I like it.
Lancelet: I think I'm coming down with something that's messing up my head.
Fireball: I was just saying, Lancelet... Because, no one here would say it!
Lancelet: ... Wario might've. Now, I'll ask one more question, and then Kroshi can start calling audience members. Mr. Blizzard... how DID you get to this studio if you can't move?
Mr. Blizzard: I got a couple of penguins... the kind from Super Mario 64, not the Bumpty kind... to put me in an air-conditioned truck and drive me here. It cost about half of last month's paycheck from Bowser, but at least I'm on air!
Kroshi: Time to... ask the audience! Seat 56random!
Fireball: ... Oh... That's me... I had no speech prepared for today, but, here I go. Who are your best or greatest friends?
Mr. Blizzard: You've got to me kidding me.
Luigi: Does he look like he's kidding?
Endark: Well, when it comes to Fireball, it's hard to tell sometimes.
Mr. Blizzard: Fine! The Moneybags, Dr. Freezegoods, non-Bumpty penguins, Chief Chilly... and maybe Bowser, on a business level. They're nice to me... but they have their faults. Chief Chilly, he keeps trying to bump me into ice water. The penguins can get annoying with those high-pitched squeals, and Bowser's really mean! Dr. Freezegood is the nicest, I would say.
Fireball: I asked you a question, not your lifelong story! And Endark's pay is a new book. And Lancelet gets one coin this time. Kroshi's pay is 210 coins from Chief Chilly.
Chief Chilly: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Endark: Oh, great; while I do like books of all genres, it might not make up for all the time and effort I now have to put into making sure that the Chief gets repaid before he has the chance to sue us.
Kroshi: Good for you, En... Good, is it?
Endark: Well, did you see the episode in which WT forgot to help pay the rent on the studio, and he got stuck in the Craglands? If I don't repay people Fireball steals money from, we're going to end up stuck in a similar situation all over again. So, yes, I think that what I'm doing is a good thing... though it IS troublesome...
Lancelet: Well, Endark, you could always quit... Though, when WT left, he became nothing more than a lame running gag. Now, I call Seat 99!
Peek-a-boom: Why do you wear pink mittens if you're made out of frozen water crystals, honorable man of snow?
Mr. Blizzard: I don't wear them because I want my hands to keep warm. It's just that if I forget to wear them, the snowballs that I throw tend to stick to my hands, leaving me quite vulnerable. Also, the stores were out of manly colors.
Kroshi: None of that was interesting... Seat 99!
Peek-a-boom: You just picked this seat not too long ago, honorable monochromatic Yoshi!
Kroshi: You and your dang fancy words. Why don't you use people words instead of your big fanvy words! You’re just showing off on TV! Seat 321,553,099.
Lancelet: I swear, this studio gets bigger every day...
Buzzy Beetle: Hey, it's me again! Anyway, in Mario Party 4 when you threw snowballs at Mario and Co, who were the other mini Blizzards?
Mr. Blizzard: Cousins and brothers of mine! ... Well, technically speaking, we might be made by Magikoopas, but we still feel like family. I am older than them since I was the first one created in my homeland, and I'm the tallest and biggest. Oh, and here's a fun fact: when you're a really small Mr. Blizzard, where I come from, they call you a Baby Blizzard.
Fireball: That was kind of cool... Or was it?
Lancelet: Baby Blizzards... Awww! That's just adorable! It sounds so cute and cuddly!
Fireball: Gee Lancelet, maybe I would raise your pay if you were not mushy and stuff...
Endark: And just like that, Lancelet, any respect I had for you a few minutes ago has completely vanished.
Lancelet: ... Eh, it's probably for the best. Seat 18!
Goomba #9741: If you rolled around in the snow a lot, how much would you grow?
Mr. Blizzard: Not an inch, actually. The Magikoopas designed most of us to remain one particular size throughout all of our lives. The only Mr. Blizzard they allowed to grow was the now-giant one in Stage 10 of Super Mario 64, and that ended up as a disaster. He could not throw snowballs and couldn't budge an inch if he wanted to, making him utterly useless in Bowser's eyes as nothing more than something to stick a Power Star on top of.
Kroshi: Magikoopas can do everything! I know what I would do if I had that kind of power...
Fireball: Like me? I can breathe fire, destroy and crush... and crush some more, and stomp on people just like that... I really have power, don't I?
Mario: Looks like it.
Endark: ... Yeah, you're about as powerful as Mario with a Fire Flower, one of the most common power-ups in the world.
Kroshi: Seat 34,059.
Toad: Yeah, pick the CRANKY ONE!
Lancelet: Uh... I thought the cranky one was Cranky Kong. I mean, the word “cranky” is in his name...
Toad: Sorry, I don't get enough sleep... Well, it's really Peach... Her and her dang bossiness keep me up all night. Now, my question is, why the name Mr. Blizzard, and who gave the name to you?
Mr. Blizzard: Well, the day the first one of us was made, a fierce blizzard was going on in Ice Land. Since it seemed like a good snow-related name to call an enemy like me, they decided to stick with Mr. Blizzard. And, it was the Magikoopa's, Bowser's, and Kammy's idea to call us that name, really.
Fireball: That's sad... Poor Toad and his Peach problems...
Lancelet: Well, I think it's about time to wrap this up. It's amazing, really; we couldn't even think of five good ones at the start of the show, and now we need to stop asking things in order to hold the audience's attention! So, the second-to-last question of the day will be given by... Seat 2,218!
Fawful: In the original Super Mario 64, if the plumber of redness got blown away by the giant Mr. Blizzard, it's possible for him to lose his cap. But, it's possible for the mustachioed plumber to regain said headgear of non-doom if he defeats a regular-sized snowman like yourself. Did you ever get to wear said chapeau, and if that question is being of great truthiness, what was it like?
Mr. Blizzard: ... Huh?
Lancelet: He asked if you ever got to wear Mario's hat, and if so, what was it like.
Mr. Blizzard: Oh. Well, yes, I did get to wear it once... but it didn't really feel special. I thought it would give me great courage and determination, but it turned out to be just a regular hat. Just goes to show that it's not the trademark hat that makes a man special, it's the man that makes the hat special.
Lancelet: Three cheers for good life lessons! ... Or, you could stay quiet if you wanted to, I guess.
Wario: It would be for the best if you didn't cheer... or if anyone else cheered, either.
Kroshi: And finally, seat M34.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?!
Mr. Blizzard: Of course!
Mario: Well, HA!
Fireball and Kroshi: That's the end of the Interview show!
Mario: Dang!
Fireball and Kroshi: We know, Mario.
Endark: ... All right, I'll believe it. There's no way that two people who aren't friends could have synchronized something that well.
Fireball: Next time we're going to have the greatest, largest, most fantastic Interview ever! It's going to be so big that even WT is going to come back in order to help out! I really wish he would stop ducking from me. No pay for him... So yeah.
Wario: Cool...
Lancelet: Can't pay somebody who's fired... I miss him, too. I'm glad he's finally coming back!
Endark: I'm not. That lousy performer was always bothersome before, and he always will be.
Lancelet: You know, Endark, he'll probably bring Amadeus back with him. That means, of course, that you won't have to stay here and run the cameras any more.
Endark: ... He's a saint.
Fireball and Kroshi: End transmission!
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