Luigi: It's not like we wanted them to come back!Iggy: Well too bad, they are!
Luigi: Why was he gone so long anyway?
Iggy: Well, between high school, his new job, and the drama known as life, his computer was severely neglected.
Luigi: Computer? This is an Interview!
Iggy: Yeah. That's what I meant, the Interviews were severely neglected!
GBC: Thank you for the horrible introduction, you two.
Iggy and Luigi: No problem!
GBC: Anyway, today will we interview the enigmatic Penguru from Super Mario Galaxy!
Audience: Ooooh!
GBC: To interview him will be Moltz the Very Goonie!
Audience: Whooo?
GBC: He's from Yoshi's Island DS.
Audience: We still don't recognize him.
(The ceiling cracks and then breaks, and then the obese Moltz the Very Goonie crashes down into the interviewer's chair.)
Moltz: Hello, everyone.
Luigi: Woah! You are fat!
Roy: You're so fat, your cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard!
Bowser: You're so fat, the only time you see 90210 is on the scale!
Ludwig: You are of such a substantial weight that when you went to a certified physician and he took your weight, he informed you that you were well overweight for someone of your height and age!
(Everyone looks at Ludwig.)
Ludwig: What? I thought it was pretty funny.
Moltz: Anywho, let’s welcome the interviewee, Penguru!
(Penguru shuffles in, taking 25 minutes to cross 10 feet of floor.)
Luigi: Woah! You are slow!
Roy: You're so slow, it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes!
Bowser: You're so slow, tortoises have to stop and wait for you to catch up!
Ludwig: Your rate of travel is of such a low number that when you entered a 100 meter dash, you placed in the last position by a substantial margin!
Everyone else: Ludwig, SHUT UP!!!
Ludwig: Sorry...
Moltz: Let's stop insulting each other and just start the Interview. First question, just how old are you, Penguru?
Penguru: I am 79 years, 4 months, 21 days, 3 hours, 14 minutes, and 32 seconds old.
Moltz: How do you remember all those details?
Penguru: I am good with numbers.
Moltz: Oh yeah? I'm good with eating! Watch!
(Moltz picks up 50 hot dogs and chomps them all in one bite.)
Penguru: That is impressive, considering you use a bill to eat.
Moltz: Thankee kindly, zir. Next question, why did your parents name you Penguru?
Penguru: They didn't. Penguru is a title, meaning I am the leader of the Penguins. My real name is Fishington.
Moltz: Can I call you Fishington?
Penguru: NEVER!!!
Moltz: Ouch, my tiny ears. Why not?
Penguru: Penguru sounds better.
Moltz: Ah. Ah. Ah choo!
Penguru: ???
Lemmy: How did he just say question marks?
GBC: We've been over this before.
Lemmy: I don't remember.
GBC: Neither do I...
Moltz: Too bad, on with the Interview. Also, I sneezed because I'm allergic to feathers.
Mario: But you-a have feathers!
Moltz: ...
Lemmy: How did he just say an ellipses? Also, why did you sneeze?
Moltz: Well, you see, I have Bird Flu...
Audience: EEP!!!
Nep Enut: NEEP!!!
R.O.B: BEEP!!!
Penguru: We'll have to put him down before he infects me!
Moltz: Wait, one last question from me before I go to the great Eateria in the Clouds; how did you become the leader of the Penguins?
Penguru: Well, I guided them through many rough times, like the fish shortage, the Gringill invasion, and the time the Bird Flu epidemic came to our humble galaxy. That is why we must put you down before it returns to my galaxy!
Moltz: Which galaxy is yours? You travel between three of them.
Penguru: Technically, I am Penguru in both the Sea Slide Galaxy and the Drip Drop Galaxy, but the Bigmouth Galaxy has no Penguru, so there's your answer. Now kill him, Toadsworth!!!
(Toadsworth leaps at Moltz with his flaming sword of justice.)
Toadsworth: PIEHO!!!
(He slices Moltz in two, and he turns into pyreflies and flies off into Final Fantasy X's plot.)
Penguru: And that is the end of that!
Rosalina: Wait, you forgot audience questions.
Creepy Space Echo: questions, questions, questions...
Penguru: What was that?
Rosalina: My voice echoes for some reason, I guess to make me appear more spacey.
Creepy Space Echo: spacey, spacey, spacey...
Penguru: Fine. Well, what about seat ln 45 times cos 55 divided by .02?
Audience: ?
Lemmy: Stop talking in punctuation marks! It's blowing my mind!
Penguru: Sorry, that's approximately 4.
Beldam: Oh, that's me. So, do you have any special powers or anything to make you interesting besides being a math wiz?
Penguru: Well, I'm a wonderful swimmer and I have excellent charisma.
Roy: Charisma isn't a power!
Penguru: It is when you have enough.
Roy: You're right, I would follow you to the end of the earth and back.
Ludwig: Roy, you're under his control! Snap out of it!
(Ludwig slaps Roy.)
Roy: Thank you, I don't know what happened to me.
Penguru: Next question, seat 00000000000003.
Daisy: Why'd you say all those zeros?
Penguru: To build up tension. Next question...
Petey Piranha: Wait, I'm seat 3! Okay, my question, what's your favorite Mario game?
Penguru: Mario Party 8, because I like the motion-sensing minigames.
Petey Piranha: Wait, you don't like Galaxy the most?
Penguru: Do you think an actor's favorite movie is one he starred in? No. It’s the same for video games too.
Petey Piranha: Oh.
Mario: P!
Wario: Q!
Waluigi: R!
Morton: S!
GBC: ENOUGH!!! NO ABCS!!!
Mario: No, GBC, the next letter is T!
GBC: I see you're still stupid after a couple years.
Mario: Stupidity has-a no cure!
Penguru: I guess that's the Interview, goodbye now!
GBC: Hey, where were the running gags? Mario's plane, Some German Guy, um... What else is there?
Luigi: I don't think there is anything else.
GBC: Oh yeah! You being annoying! But you already, so at least that's back.
Mario: Wait-a a minute!
GBC: Did you just say the "a" sound twice?
Mario: BANANAS IN PAJAMAS!!!
(Mario takes off in his plane with Orbulon and Some German Guy.)
Some German Guy: Auf weidersen!
GBC: Did I just spell that wrong?
Luigi: He said it, not you. So no.
GBX: Wat r u, n ideeit? Deez enttvus r preriten n tieping!
Luigi: No they aren't, scripted Interviews are boring! And stop speaking in typos!
GBC: Just making sure I got all the cliché running gags back. Now we can end it. Turn off the camera, Bluez.
Bluez: Yes sir!
(End Transmission)
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