(Our heroes pull up on a beach in a steep jungle.)
Lemmy: You guys are late, where were you?
G.G: It’s a loooooooooooooong story.
Koopa 13: Trust us, it’s so long that if it were a Fun Fiction it would take seven chapters to finish.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Now who is this exclusive interview you brought us all the way out here for?
Dk: Ok.
Lemmy: Him.
G.G: DONKEY KONG?!
Koopa 13: Donkey Kong is gonna be the one we interview?
Lemmy: Yep.
G.G: So let me get this straight, you had us come all the way out here on a boat in a thunderstorm only to have our boat destroyed, forcing us to come here paddling on a log, for a stupid monkey?
DK: DK can’t read directions, couldn’t find studio.
Chompy:sigh
Koopa 13: Wellllllll, let’s just get this started.
G.G: Stupid monkey.
(Later at DK’s house…)
G.G: Ok then, why are you so important that you’re an official Mario character?
DK: DK is responsible for Mario career. If not for DK, Mario just be plumber.
Koopa 13: What’s with all the career-saying people? Anyway, why do you love bananas?
DK: Monkey stereotype.
Chompy: Bark bark?
G.G: He says how come you became a good guy after the first Donkey Kong?
DK: What do you mean? DK already good guy.
Koopa 13: That doesn’t explain you kidnapping that girl in a dress.
DK: You misunderstand, DK want to invite Pauline over so he decided to carry her over to my place, and when Mario came to rescue her I thought he wanted tea so I gave him barrels of it.
G.G: Besides Mario vs. Donkey Kong, how come you only appear in Mario sports games and Mario party games?
DK: DK already have his own franchise. I have no need to be in platformer Mario games.
Chompy: Bark bark?
G.G: He says how come you got your own game?
DK: Donkey Kong did so well, Nintendo want to bring DK back in his own game, plus King K. Rool stole my bananas and NO ONE STELAS MY BANNAS!!!
(He picks up Diddy Kong and throws him out the window.)
G.G: Right.
Koopa 13: Basically, in Mario Party games you were playable in one through four, but how come you quit being playable in number 5?
DK: DK not be able to do much as character, so Nintendo decided to mix DK’s franchise in with the Mario Party games to make it more exciting.
G.G: Oh yes, it’s very exciting to collect bananas in order to get coins.
(DK picks up G.G. by the head and starts to squish him.)
DK: WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT DK’S BANANAS?!
G.G: *cough* I was just kidding! I *gasp* love collecting bananas! They’re *weeze* the greatest part of Mario Party.
(DK drops him.)
G.G: Ok, to avoid getting nearly killed, I’m going to the audi- Wait, we don’t have an audience.
(DK jumps up and down and causes a bunch of creatures to fall through the roof.)
G.G: Wow, hard to believe humans evolved from monkeys. Then again…
Mario: It’s-a me, Mario!
G.G: Maybe not. You, ask a question.
Koopa: Where did you get those Stars in Mario Party 8?
DK: Stole them.
G.G: So much for you being a good guy.
DK: From Bowser.
G.G: Fair enough. You, ask a question.
Magikoopa: Why were you given the name Donkey Kong?
DK: DK’s original name was just Kong but that uninteresting, so DK change name to favorite animal, the donkey, hence my name.
G.G: And they say evolution never happened. How about you, got a question?
Banana: CEREAL!!!
G.G: I guess not. What about you?
Koopatrol: Why did you bring Diddy Kong with you in a bunch of the sports games?
DK: DK feel out of place when in Mushroom World, so he bring Diddy with him so that DK feel more comfortable.
(Diddy Kong is seen swinging on a branch.)
Diddy Kong: I’M FLYING!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Koopa 13: And he feels more comfortable without you.
G.G: All right, I think that’s enough for today. Now how to get back home?
(DK stuffs the three of them into a barrel cannon.)
G.G: Hey! What are you doing?!
Koopa 13: Are you sure this thing can blast far enough to get us to safety?
DK: NO!!!
G.G: WHAT?!
(G.G. and Crew are blown out of the cannon and fall through the roof of the Interview show.)
G.G: I can’t feel my face.
Koopa 13: All that just so we can get the monkey interviewed.
G.G: Well at least we got back home in one piece.
(The G.G. Crew is seen on top of a Wiggler, who turns red.)
Wiggler: GET OVER HERE!
(A bunch of violent sounds can be heard outside.)
Metaknight: It might have been easier to have flown them in the Koopa Clown Copter.
Lemmy: Now where is the fun in that? END TRANSMISSION.
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