One evening, all was fine in the Mushroom Kingdom. Toad was in with Peach in the main room
Toad: You wanted me, Peach?
Peach: Call me Princess Peach. Or Toadstool.
Toad: No, I'm calling you whatever I want.
Peach: Well, that attitude isn't helping your chances of getting that bonus raise.
Toad: Meh, what are the chances of that happening?
Peach: Well, what was I going to say... Oh yes. I need you to watch the town, you are going to be a cop for the day.
Toad: Goody, fighting crime and such.
Peach: Glad to see you're up to the challenge. You're going to have someone with you, and that’s-
Toad: Oh... no...
Peach: -Mario!
Toad: Well this should be fun!
Mario: Hello, buddy!
Mario throws some soup on Toad.
Toad: Again with the soup.
Wario runs in.
Wario: I told you it would catch on!
Wario runs out.
Toad: Well, just give us the uniforms, Peach, and we’ll be on our way.
Mario and Toad get their uniforms on
Toad: Well, let’s get ready to fight crime!
Mario: Oh no!
Toad: What?
Mario: There’s donut sprinkles on my uniform! Time for a coffee break!
Toad: But we just-
Mario: Quiet, Toad, when it’s coffee break, it’s coffee break.
Toad: Try not to spill any on me!
Mario: I won't.
Toad: Sure...
Mario: What a lucky day, my fortune cookie said I would be a cop today... It also said a grand piano would fall on me.
Mario looks up.
Toad: Mario, those things tell lies all the-
A grand piano falls on Toad.
Mario: You're right, they are lies! It didn't fall on me, it fell near me!
Toad: Ugh... Next time you get a fortune cookie, don't open it.
Mario: Fine, now let’s go out and fight some awesome crime!
Mario grabs Toad’s arm and they both leave the castle to fight off crime.
Wario: Man, these are some yummy cookies!
Mario: Excuse me, sir, but I heard someone’s cookies got stolen?
Wario: Well, it wasn't me! I was in the back alley stealing someone’s wallet!
Toad: Well, I guess we’re going to have to take you downtown for stealing!
Mario: Oh come on, Toad, let’s just let him be.
Wario: Yeah, let me be!
Toad: Oh, fine!
Mario: Good, now let’s go.
Toad: Mario, look! Bowser is stealing Peach again!
Bowser has Peach and is about to ride off in his Clown Copter
Mario: What are you doing, Bowser?
Bowser: Stealing Peach... and driving a copter.
Toad: You're under arrest, Bowser!
Bowser: For having a copter?
Toad: No, for kidnapping Peach.
Bowser: ... Well this is a first. How come the other times a police officer never stopped me?
Toad: Oh... They don't?
Bowser: Well... are you new?
Toad: Uh, yeah.
Bowser: Well, the cops don't usually stop me.
Toad: Yeah, well I am.
Bowser: Well... you know what, let’s just forget this ever happened, and I will be off, all right?
Toad: Ok.
Bowser: Good.
Bowser drives off
Peach: MARIO!
Mario: Daisy?
Toad: Oh, dang! Bowser tricked me.
Mario: Daisy?
Toad: No, shut up. Let’s go off and see if we can go... do something that cops would do.
So Mario and Toad go to do... what cops would do
Mario: Let’s go in here, Toad.
Toad: All right.
Mario and Toad enter a building
Toad: Uh, Mario.
Mario: Yes Toad?
Toad: We’re in a bank!
Mario: Of course... This is where we get donuts, right?
Toad: Is that you've been thinking about this whole time while being a cop?!
Mario: Well... yeah... You are too, right?
Toad: No!
Mario: Oh!
Wario enters the bank.
Wario: The great Wario is going to rob this place!
Koopa Banks: I'm Koopa Banks, the owner of this place!
Wario: Wow, after months of trying, I'm robbing a Mushroom Bank successfully!
Koopa Banks: Yeah, I’ve seen your bad luck with banks before.
Wario: Yeah... Now give me your money!
Koopa Banks: Fine.
Toad: Mario, I think we should do something!
Mario: Wait... Let’s just see where this is going...
Wario gets all of the bank’s money and runs off.
Toad: See what waiting does? It lets a fat guy run out of here with money in his hands!
Mario: Well, blaming me again. This is getting so old.
A grand piano falls on Toad
Mario: Ok, that was the last fortune cookie I was going to open today.
Toad: *groan* Hopefully, but I doubt it.
Mario: Now, let’s go to the donut store!
Mario grabs Toad and they both head for the donut store, but Mario stops in his tracks and heads for a different location...
Toad: BOWSER'S CASTLE?!
Mario: Oh, in the bank, I saw on the bulletin board that there are free donuts here!
Toad: Well, maybe we can get Peach back in the process.
Mario and Toad enter the castle to find Larry right in front of them.
Larry: Here’s some free donuts.
Mario: Gee, thanks!
Toad: This is obviously a trap!
Larry leaves and Lemmy comes in the room
Lemmy: Here’s some coffee.
Mario: Coffee break!
Toad: Still, a trap!
Lemmy leaves and Bowser comes in.
Bowser: Here’s some fire!
Bowser breathes out fire. Mario dodges, but about Toad...
Toad: Mario...
Mario: Yes Toad?
Toad: I'm burnt...
Mario: So...? Anyway, give us back Peach, Bowser!
Bowser: Oh, she went back to the castle an hour ago.
Mario: Really?
Toad: Grr...
Bowser: Pepper spray sure hurts the eyes...
Mario: That would explain your eyes there.
Bowser: Yeah... Well... goodbye.
Mario grabs Toad and they leave the castle and head to Peach’s Castle.
Peach: Where were you two? I was waiting to be saved!
Toad: Mario-
Peach: I'm not going to dock your pay... I'm going to do something else...
Toad: ...
Three grand pianos fall on Toad.
Toad: Fortune cookies...
(This scribble was sponsored by Waluigi's Fortune. The food is great, and the fortune cookie tells all.)
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