PlayStop

Bad... Cops
 
By Fireball

One evening, all was fine in the Mushroom Kingdom. Toad was in with Peach in the main room

Toad: You wanted me, Peach?

Peach: Call me Princess Peach. Or Toadstool.

Toad: No, I'm calling you whatever I want.

Peach: Well, that attitude isn't helping your chances of getting that bonus raise.

Toad: Meh, what are the chances of that happening?

Peach: Well, what was I going to say... Oh yes. I need you to watch the town, you are going to be a cop for the day.

Toad: Goody, fighting crime and such.

Peach: Glad to see you're up to the challenge. You're going to have someone with you, and that’s-

Toad: Oh... no...

Peach: -Mario!

Toad: Well this should be fun!

Mario: Hello, buddy!

Mario throws some soup on Toad.

Toad: Again with the soup.

Wario runs in.

Wario: I told you it would catch on!

Wario runs out.

Toad: Well, just give us the uniforms, Peach, and we’ll be on our way.

Mario and Toad get their uniforms on

Toad: Well, let’s get ready to fight crime!

Mario: Oh no!

Toad: What?

Mario: There’s donut sprinkles on my uniform! Time for a coffee break!

Toad: But we just-

Mario: Quiet, Toad, when it’s coffee break, it’s coffee break.

Toad: Try not to spill any on me!

Mario: I won't.

Toad: Sure...

Mario: What a lucky day, my fortune cookie said I would be a cop today... It also said a grand piano would fall on me.

Mario looks up.

Toad: Mario, those things tell lies all the-

A grand piano falls on Toad.

Mario: You're right, they are lies! It didn't fall on me, it fell near me!

Toad: Ugh... Next time you get a fortune cookie, don't open it.

Mario: Fine, now let’s go out and fight some awesome crime!

Mario grabs Toad’s arm and they both leave the castle to fight off crime.

Wario: Man, these are some yummy cookies!

Mario: Excuse me, sir, but I heard someone’s cookies got stolen?

Wario: Well, it wasn't me! I was in the back alley stealing someone’s wallet!

Toad: Well, I guess we’re going to have to take you downtown for stealing!

Mario: Oh come on, Toad, let’s just let him be.

Wario: Yeah, let me be!

Toad: Oh, fine!

Mario: Good, now let’s go.

Toad: Mario, look! Bowser is stealing Peach again!

Bowser has Peach and is about to ride off in his Clown Copter

Mario: What are you doing, Bowser?

Bowser: Stealing Peach... and driving a copter.

Toad: You're under arrest, Bowser!

Bowser: For having a copter?

Toad: No, for kidnapping Peach.

Bowser: ... Well this is a first. How come the other times a police officer never stopped me?

Toad: Oh... They don't?

Bowser: Well... are you new?

Toad: Uh, yeah.

Bowser: Well, the cops don't usually stop me.

Toad: Yeah, well I am.

Bowser: Well... you know what, let’s just forget this ever happened, and I will be off, all right?

Toad: Ok.

Bowser: Good.

Bowser drives off

Peach: MARIO!

Mario: Daisy?

Toad: Oh, dang! Bowser tricked me.

Mario: Daisy?

Toad: No, shut up. Let’s go off and see if we can go... do something that cops would do.

So Mario and Toad go to do... what cops would do

Mario: Let’s go in here, Toad.

Toad: All right.

Mario and Toad enter a building

Toad: Uh, Mario.

Mario: Yes Toad?

Toad: We’re in a bank!

Mario: Of course... This is where we get donuts, right?

Toad: Is that you've been thinking about this whole time while being a cop?!

Mario: Well... yeah... You are too, right?

Toad: No!

Mario: Oh!

Wario enters the bank.

Wario: The great Wario is going to rob this place!

Koopa Banks: I'm Koopa Banks, the owner of this place!

Wario: Wow, after months of trying, I'm robbing a Mushroom Bank successfully!

Koopa Banks: Yeah, I’ve seen your bad luck with banks before.

Wario: Yeah... Now give me your money!

Koopa Banks: Fine.

Toad: Mario, I think we should do something!

Mario: Wait... Let’s just see where this is going...

Wario gets all of the bank’s money and runs off.

Toad: See what waiting does? It lets a fat guy run out of here with money in his hands!

Mario: Well, blaming me again. This is getting so old.

A grand piano falls on Toad

Mario: Ok, that was the last fortune cookie I was going to open today.

Toad: *groan* Hopefully, but I doubt it.

Mario: Now, let’s go to the donut store!

Mario grabs Toad and they both head for the donut store, but Mario stops in his tracks and heads for a different location...

Toad: BOWSER'S CASTLE?!

Mario: Oh, in the bank, I saw on the bulletin board that there are free donuts here!

Toad: Well, maybe we can get Peach back in the process.

Mario and Toad enter the castle to find Larry right in front of them.

Larry: Here’s some free donuts.

Mario: Gee, thanks!

Toad: This is obviously a trap!

Larry leaves and Lemmy comes in the room

Lemmy: Here’s some coffee.

Mario: Coffee break!

Toad: Still, a trap!

Lemmy leaves and Bowser comes in.

Bowser: Here’s some fire!

Bowser breathes out fire. Mario dodges, but about Toad...

Toad: Mario...

Mario: Yes Toad?

Toad: I'm burnt...

Mario: So...? Anyway, give us back Peach, Bowser!

Bowser: Oh, she went back to the castle an hour ago.

Mario: Really?

Toad: Grr...

Bowser: Pepper spray sure hurts the eyes...

Mario: That would explain your eyes there.

Bowser: Yeah... Well... goodbye.

Mario grabs Toad and they leave the castle and head to Peach’s Castle.

Peach: Where were you two? I was waiting to be saved!

Toad: Mario-

Peach: I'm not going to dock your pay... I'm going to do something else...

Toad: ...

Three grand pianos fall on Toad.

Toad: Fortune cookies...

(This scribble was sponsored by Waluigi's Fortune. The food is great, and the fortune cookie tells all.)

END

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