Lemmy: It's time to play-
Roy (screaming): DEAL! OR! NO DEAL!
The audience starts clapping.
Lemmy: Hello all. I am Lemmy Koopa, the awesome host of this game, Deal or No Deal, where contestants will try to find the case that contains one million coins. However, our mysterious and unknown banker wants to stop them.
The camera goes to show Larry sleeping up in the banker's booth.
Lemmy: I wonder who the banker could be. Hmm. We will never know, I guess. Now, before the show starts, we are going to introduce you all to our 26 hideous-
Models: Hey!
Lemmy: I mean gorgeous models. Holding case 1 is Clawdia!
Clawdia: Aw, look at my boy out there hosting a gameshow. Your mom is so proud of you! I love you!
Lemmy: Not on television, Mom. It's making everyone think I'm a dork.
Roy: Huh, I've always thought that.
Lemmy: No one asked for your opinion. Now, on case 2 is Wendy!
Wendy: This outfit makes me look ugly! I will throw a tantrum if I don't get a prettier outfit!
Roy: It's not the outfit, it's you.
Wendy: Don't make me throw a tantrum!
Lemmy: Please, anything but that. Now, holding case 3 is our own annoying cousin, Susan!
Susan: Hi guys! I'm not as annoying as people think! I'm really nice if you get to know me!
Roy: Oh please, I haven't heard a bigger lie than that since that lie Lemmy said about these models being gorgeous.
Lemmy: Must you make smart remarks on every comment I make?
Roy: Well duh.
Lemmy: Ugh. Holding case 4 is Kammy.
Kammy: He-he-he, I am the true supreme Magikoopa!
Roy: Oh please, you're just an old hag.
Kammy: Hehe, don't make me turn you into a block!
Lemmy: Holding case 5 is the generic Magikoopa that is lucky enough to be called by a name, Kamella!
Kamella: I am much better then a generic Magikoopa!
Roy: Yeah, ok.
Lemmy: Holding case 6 is the wicked witch herself, Cackletta!
Cackletta: Eyak yak yak! I'll get you, my pretty!
Kammy: No taking my line!
Roy: Ooh, girl fight! I got 10 coins on Cackletta!
Lemmy: Holding case 7 is Queen Bean!
Queen Bean: Uh-huh-huh!
Roy: You're an insignificant character, why are you in this scribble?
Lemmy: Holding case 8 is the Beanbean Kingdom's ambassador, Lady Lima!
Lady Lima: We are one step ahead of you Mushroomers!
Roy: Again, why are these insignificant characters appearing?
Lemmy: Holding case 9 is the Mushroom Kingdom's very own, Peach!
Peach: I am the best!
Roy: Oh man, where's King Dad when I need him? He said if I found Peach he would let me beat up Iggy and not get in trouble.
Lemmy: Holding case 10 is Daisy!
Daisy: I am better than Peach because she stinks.
Roy: You both stink.
Lemmy: Case 11 is being held by the princess who gets way more credit then she deserves, Rosalina!
Rosalina: Pft, I don't get enough credit.
Roy: Oh please, you appeared in one game. What, do you think you're god or something?
Gloomtail: I am god!
Lemmy: Must you appear in every Scribble?
Gloomtail: Well duh, it wouldn't be great without me.
Lemmy: How did you fit in here anyway?
Gloomtail: Actually I'm outside of the building; I'm just talking really loudly.
Lemmy: Well go away!
Gloomtail: Hey, don't hurt my feelings!
Lemmy: You have feelings?
Gloomtail: Yes, even giant dragons have feelings. And mine are hurt. I'm leaving you, jerk face!
Gloomtail storms away, destroying anything in his path.
Lemmy: Finally. So, holding case 12 is Toadette!
Toadette: Yeah!
Roy: What a well thought out sentence.
Lemmy: Now, the next three models want to be introduced as a whole. So, holding cases 13, 14, and 15 are-
Beldam: The three-
Marilyn: Shadow-
Vivian: Beauties!
Roy: Oh great, the three stooges decided to show.
Marilyn: Guh!
Beldam: Vivian, you nincomkoop! It's Shadow Sirens, not Shadow Beauties!
Vivian: But Shadow Beauties sounds good.
Beldam: We are not beauties. Especially not you! Now get it right!
Lemmy: Well seeing as I'm lazy, the models holding cases 16-24 don't get a cool introduction.
Models 16-24: hey!
Lemmy: No one cares about you guys. So, case 16 is Goombella, case 17 is Ms. Mowz, Case 18 is Dixie Kong, case 19 is Madame Flurry, case 20 is Birdo, case 21 is Ms. Thwomp, case 22 is Princess Shroob, case 23 is Bombette, and case 24 is Bow.
Roy: Finally, we're almost done. This is boring because all the models are idiots.
Lemmy: So, holding case 25 is Zelda!
Roy: Why is she here? She isn't even a Mario character!
Zelda: I'm cool like one!
Lemmy: Finally, on case 26 is Iggy!
Roy: Iggy? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Iggy is wearing a girly dress.
Iggy: Why am I here? I'm not a girl!
Lemmy: You have the physical strength of one!
Roy: Oh, that's hilarious! Iggy is the weakest and ugliest of them all!
Lemmy: Now that we got those dumb introductions out of the way, models, pick up your cases!
All the models pick up their cases, and when Iggy picks his up, he falls to the ground.
Iggy: This is heavy! What is in here?
Lemmy: A piece of paper…
Roy: Wow Iggy, wow!
Lemmy: Now you see why you're here. So, let's bring out our first contestant, Yoshi!
Yoshi walks onstage. The audience starts clapping.
Yoshi: Yoshi happy to be here!
Lemmy: All right, let's start. Yoshi, please select one case.
Yoshi: Yoshi pick case 20, as that's what Birdo is holding!
Birdo: Aww, you're so sweet.
Lemmy: All right, bring your case to Yoshi.
Birdo brings the case up to Yoshi.
Lemmy: All right Yoshi, in this round you pick six cases to open. Pick your first case.
Yoshi: Yoshi open case 9!
Lemmy: All right Peach, please open your case.
Peach opens her case. Her case has 100,000 coins.
Peach: Ooh, sorry.
Yoshi: That's ok. Yoshi try case 18!
Lemmy: Dixie... Open your case.
Dixie opens her case. Her case has 400,000 coins.
Dixie: Ooh, that's not good.
Roy: No duh, Sherlock.
Lemmy: Please keep your comments to yourself.
Roy: You can't make me!
Yoshi: Roy has a point, Lemmy.
Lemmy: Grr... Just continue, Yoshi.
Yoshi: Yoshi, try case 15!
Lemmy: Vivian... Open your case.
Vivian: He-he, I feel special!
Roy: How does opening a case make you feel special?
Vivian opens her case. Her case has 400 coins in it.
Vivian: That's good, right?
Lemmy: Best case he's picked so far. Pick another case, Yoshi.
Yoshi: Yoshi try 26.
Lemmy: All right Iggy, open your case.
Roy: He can't, he's too weak to.
Iggy tries his hardest, but can't open the case.
Roy: You got to be kidding me!
Roy runs up and smashes Iggy's case. It has 10 coins in it.
Iggy: Hey! Jerk face!
Roy: That's the best name you can come up with?
Iggy: Yeah well... You're a doodoohead.
Roy: What are you, 4?
Lemmy: He does have the strength of a four-year-old.
Iggy: Hey!
Roy: That's way too generous, Lemmy. He has the strength of a one-year-old, if even!
Lemmy: True... All right, let's continue. Pick your next case, Yoshi.
Yoshi: Yoshi try case 5!
Lemmy: All right. Kammy, please open your case.
Kammy: I'm so skilled I'm going to use magic to open it!
Kammy opens it with magic.
Kammy: ... What, that wasn't cool?
Roy: Not really.
Kammy: Grr...
The case had 75 coins in it.
Lemmy: All right, getting better, Yoshi. Pick your last case for this round.
Yoshi: Yoshi choose case 22!
Lemmy: Princess Shroob... Please open you case.
Princess Shroob blasts her case with a laser gun. It has 200 coins in it.
Lemmy; Nice job! Now, it's time for our very mysterious banker whom we will never know the identity of-
Once again, Larry is seen in clear view sleeping up there.
Lemmy: -to make an offer. Let me call up to him.
Lemmy calls up to Larry. The phone's ring in the banker's booth is so loud Larry jumps up from sleeping and smacks his head on the ceiling.
Larry: Hey, how did I get here?
Lemmy: Just pick up the phone and make an offer!
Larry picks up the phone, yells at Lemmy, and calls him some names so bad we cannot tell you, viciously slams the phone back down, and goes back to sleep.
Lemmy: Rude much? Anyway, our banker has made you an offer of 90,000 coins. So Yoshi, Deal or No Deal?
Yoshi: Yoshi say No Deal, as Yoshi think he can win more then 90,000 coins.
Lemmy: All right. Now you have five cases to open for this round. Please choose your first case.
Yoshi: Yoshi try case 16!
Lemmy: All right Goombella, open your case.
Goombella opens the case. The case had 75,000 coins in it.
Goombella: Not bad, Dino Dude!
Roy: Now where have I heard that from?
Yoshi: Yoshi got not clue. Yoshi wants case 2 open.
Lemmy: Hey, no picking cases without my command!
Roy: You're command is weak.
Lemmy: You're weak.
Roy: You're face is weak. Oh, burn!
Yoshi: Yoshi think Lemmy got burned.
Lemmy: Grr, just open the dang case!
Wendy: I hate you.
Wendy opens her case. It contains 300,000 coins.
Wendy: Ha!
Yoshi: Yoshi no doing well. Yoshi try case 7, as 7 is a lucky number.
Queen Bean opens her case. It contains 50,000 coins.
Lemmy: Stop opening cases without my command!
Roy: Step off, dweeb.
Lemmy: Hey, you ain't even playing.
Roy: And since when do you say "ain't"?
Lemmy: Since right now. Yoshi, open a case now that I've commanded you.
Roy: You sound like some sort of dictator.
An evil look comes across Lemmy's face.
Lemmy: Ignore that... Pick a case, Yoshi. Now.
Yoshi: Yoshi go with case 23.
Lemmy: Bombette, please open your case.
Instead of opening it Bombette just explodes. The case shatters open, and 0.01 coin comes out.
Yoshi: That good!
Lemmy: All right, Yoshi. Choose the last case for this round.
Yoshi: Yoshi pick the case being held by the non-Mario character.
Lemmy: That's you, Zelda. Open it.
Zelda opens her case. It has 1,000,000 coins in it.
Yoshi: Oh, that no good.
Lemmy: So, let's see the offer our banker is going to make.
Lemmy calls up to the banker's booth. The phone doesn't ring there.
Lemmy: %#%#(^!
Lemmy looks and sees Larry disconnected the phone chord.
Lemmy: %#&)%#!
Lemmy runs into the banker's booth and sounds a loud horn in Larry's hear, waking him up screaming. Lemmy beats up Larry, and then walks back out.
Lemmy: La- or, I mean, the unknown banker, wants to make you and offer of 98,396.55 coins.
Roy: Wow, Larry couldn't just make it a nice, even number.
Lemmy: Ssh, don't spoil the surprise.
Roy: We all know it’s Larry. It's no surprise.
Lemmy: Silence, fool! Now Yoshi, Deal or No Deal?
Yoshi: Yoshi still think Yoshi can get more, so Yoshi say No Deal!
Lemmy: All right Yoshi. You open four cases this round. Choose your first case, please.
Yoshi: Yoshi pick case 1.
Lemmy: Open your case, Clawdia.
Clawdia: Certainly, my love. Oh, Mom is so proud of you!
Lemmy: Mom, don't make everyone think I'm uncool.
Roy: Like I said, it's already too late for that.
Clawdia: Sorry, dear.
Clawdia opens her case. It has 5 coins in it.
Clawdia: Sweet!
Lemmy: Yoshi, choose another case.
Yoshi: Yoshi pick case 14.
Lemmy: All right. Open your case, Marilyn.
Marilyn opens her case. Her case contains 25 coins.
Marilyn: Guh!
Lemmy: Pick another case, Yoshi.
Yoshi: How about case 3!
Lemmy: Ok. Susan, open you case.
Susan: Yay, I finally get a line!
Roy: Don't make it last long.
Lemmy: Hey, I'm trying here.
Susan: Um... Hi Audience! I want to say hi to my dad and-
Lemmy: Open your case now!
Susan: Fine...
Susan opens her case. Her case has 750 coins.
Susan: Huh, that was fun!
Roy: Get a life!
Lemmy: All right Yoshi, please select your last case for this round.
Yoshi: Yoshi go with case 24!
Lemmy: Bow... Open your case.
Bow opens her case. There are 50 coins in her case.
Bow: Nice round!
Lemmy: All right, Yoshi, time to call up to our banker.
Larry is seen tied to a chair, eyes taped open, with the phone taped right to his ear. Lemmy calls and Larry starts talking. After a long 10 minutes and several bad words, Lemmy hangs up.
Lemmy: Our mys-
Roy: Cut it already! We all know it's Larry.
Lemmy: Who is this Larry you speak of? Our banker wants to offer Yoshi a whopping 250,000 coins.
Yoshi: That's a lot.
Lemmy: So Yoshi, Deal, or No Deal?
Yoshi: Hmm... Yoshi think 250,000 is good amount, but Yoshi came here to win, not to settle halfway. Yoshi say No Deal!
Lemmy: All right. In this round, you only open three cases. Choose your first case.
Yoshi: Yoshi say case 6!
Lemmy: All right Cackletta, open you case!
Cackletta opens her case. It has 1 coin in it.
Cackletta; Eyak yak yak!
Lemmy: Man, you're good. Choose another case.
Yoshi: How about case 10?
Lemmy: Daisy, please open your case.
The whole audience suddenly begins paying attention to what is happening.
Daisy: For the love of-
Daisy opens her case. It has 100 coins in it.
Daisy: Pretty good!
Lemmy: All right Yoshi, pick your last case for this round.
Yoshi: Case 17!
Lemmy: Ms. Mowz, please open your case.
Ms. Mowz opens her case. It has 300 coins in it.
Ms. Mowz: Still good!
Lemmy: Time to call the banker!
The same thing happens as last time.
Lemmy: All right, our banker wants to make you a humongous offer of 410,000 coins.
Yoshi: Woah, that's a lot. This be tough choice for Yoshi.
Lemmy: You take your time to think about this. Will Yoshi's luck run out? Find out after a word from our sponsors.
Roy: Commercials? I hate commercials!
Lemmy: Too bad!
...
Roy is facing the screen.
Roy: Hey you!
Reader: Yeah!
Roy: Want to be tough like me?
Reader: No.
Roy: Did I just hear a no?
Reader: Yes.
Roy: Did I just hear a yes?
Reader: Yes.
Roy: So you want to be tough, huh? Well, come to Roy's Fitness Academy and we'll help. You will learn great fighting techniques-
The camera shows Wario farting on Morton, and the smell knocks him out.
Roy: -coordination-
The camera shows Larry playing Wii Sports.
Roy: -and strength-building drills!
The camera shows Lemmy flipping through channels with the remote.
Roy: So come to Roy's Fitness Academy if you know what's good for you!
...
Lemmy: And we're back!
Roy: That was a pretty dumb commercial.
Lemmy: So Yoshi, Deal, or No Deal?
Yoshi: Yoshi decided he's going to finish this game strong, and say No Deal!
Lemmy: All right. In this round you will open two cases. In all the rounds after this, you only open one case at a time. Pick a case, Yoshi.
Yoshi: Yoshi choose case 19!
Lemmy: Flurry... Open your case.
Flurry opens her case. It has 500 coins in the case.
Flurry: Wow, you're doing great!
Yoshi: Yoshi want case 8!
Lemmy: Hey, no talking without my command!
Roy: Your command is weak.
Lemmy: ... Just open the %#(&% case.
Roy: No swearing on national television!
Lemmy: Too bad!
Lady Lima opens her case. It has 1,000 coins in it.
Lady Lima: I have never seen someone so lucky.
Lemmy: All right Yoshi, round over. Let me call up to the banker.
Lemmy calls the banker. However, Lemmy sees that Larry has broken out of the chair and ripped off the phone chord.
Lemmy: %(#%&!
Roy: No swearing on national television!
Lemmy runs up into the banker's booth and starts beating the living daylights out of Larry. Lemmy them walks out with Larry completely glued, nailed, stapled, and strapped to the chair.
Lemmy: The mystery banker wants to offer you 450,000 coins. So Yoshi, Deal, or No Deal?
Yoshi: This is very tempting, but Yoshi decided Yoshi sticking with his first instinct, which was case 20. No Deal!
Lemmy: All right Yoshi, pick one case.
Yoshi: Yoshi choose 12!
Lemmy: All right, Toadette, open your case.
Toadette opens her case. It has 25,000 coins.
Lemmy: %#(&^%, this kid might beat us.
Yoshi: Yoshi hear what?
Lemmy: Ugh, never mind. Let me call up to the banker.
Lemmy calls up the banker. Again, more bad words are being said, so we cannot show the conversation taking place.
Lemmy: Our banker is ready to offer you a near record sum of 480,000 coins!
Yoshi: Yoshi already decide No Deal!
Lemmy: All right. You know the drill by now. Choose one case.
Yoshi: How about case 13.
Lemmy: Beldam... Open your case.
Beldam: It's about time.
Beldam opens her case. It has 75,000 coins.
Yoshi: At least the big sums are still in play.
Lemmy: Indeed. Now let me phone the banker.
The same thing happens as last time, except with less cussing.
Lemmy: Our banker wants to offer you a record-tying 500,000 coins!
Yoshi: Yoshi said it before, and Yoshi say it again. No Deal!
Lemmy: All right, pick a case.
Yoshi: Case 11!
Rosalina opens her case. It has 200,000 coins.
Lemmy: Wow. Let me call the banker.
Seeing as Larry has yet to break free, the same thing happens as last time.
Lemmy: Is our banker an idiot or something?
Roy: Yes he is.
Lemmy: He wants to offer you a record-breaking 520,000 coins.
Yoshi: No deal!
Lemmy: Wow, you are determined. Pick one last case.
Yoshi: Yoshi choose case 4!
Lemmy: Kammy, please open your case.
Roy: Oh great, Grandpa here will take an hour opening this.
Kammy: I will not!
It takes Kammy 59 minutes and 59 seconds to open her case.
Kammy: Told you!
Kammy's case has 500,000 coins.
Lemmy: Oh, that's bad. Well Yoshi, it's all come down to this. Two cases. One contains 750,000 coins, while one contains only 50,000 coins. But first, let's get a final offer from our banker.
Larry is almost out, but alas, he is still stuck, so he answers the phone.
Lemmy: Are you ready, Yoshi?
Yoshi: Yoshi ready as ever!
Lemmy: He will offer you a final offer of 550,000 coins. Do you accept?
Roy: You're supposed to say Deal or No Deal.
Lemmy: Too bad!
Yoshi: No deal!
Lemmy: All right. The time has come. Yoshi, would you like to swap cases, or use the case you have?
Yoshi: Yoshi stick with Yoshi's case.
Lemmy: All right. Yoshi, you may open your case.
Yoshi opens his case. It has...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
... 50,000 coins in it.
Yoshi: No!
Lemmy: Ouch, tough luck. You came so close too!
Yoshi: That's all right. Yoshi take what Yoshi has and be happy.
Yoshi leaves the studio, 50,000 coins richer.
Lemmy: Now, time to bring out our next contestant on…
...
Roy: Nope, I refuse to scream unless I get paid more.
Lemmy tosses Roy a coin.
Roy: Good enough for me.
Lemmy: Now scream!
Roy: (screaming) Deal! Or! No Deal!
Lemmy: All right. Please put your hands together for our next contestant, the fat, the greedy, the great Wario!
Wario wobbles his way on stage.
Wario: Heh-heh, The Great Wario will win lots of money!
Lemmy: Well, you must know how to play, so pick a case.
Wario: The Great Wario chooses case 7!
Roy: That's going to get old really fast.
Lemmy: All right, bring your case up here, Queen Bean.
Queen Bean brings her case up.
Lemmy: You know the drill, in this round you pick six cases. Choose your first case.
Wario: The Great Wario picks case 1!
Lemmy: Mom, err, I mean, Clawdia, please open your case.
Clawdia: I know you love me so much!
Clawdia opens her case. Her case had 0.01 coins.
Wario: Wah-ha-ha!
Lemmy: Choose another case, Wario.
Wario: The Great Wario picks case 2.
Roy: Going in chronological order, how original.
Lemmy: Wendy, please open your case.
Wendy opens her case. Her case has 1 coin.
Wario: No! I lost a coin!
Roy: Please don't tell me the amount of coins is also going in chronological order.
Lemmy: I hope not. So Wario, pick the next case.
Wario: The Great Wario picks case 3.
Lemmy: Susan, open your case.
Susan: Time for me to talk again? Neat!
Roy: Just open it!
Susan opens her case. It has 5 coins in it.
Wario: Wah!
Roy: You have got to be kidding me.
Susan: Tee-hee, that was even more fun the second time!
Roy: Luckily there will be no third time.
Lemmy: Pick another case, Wario.
Wario: The Great Wario is going to pick case 4.
Roy: How predictable.
Kammy opens her case. Her case has 10 coins in it.
Roy: Even more predictable.
Lemmy: Choose another case, Wario.
Wario: The Great Wario will pick case 5!
Lemmy: All right. Kamella, please open your case.
Kamella opens her case. It has 25 coins in it.
Lemmy: Choose your final case for this round.
Wario: This is a tough decision-
Roy: Oh yeah, it’s so tough to choose case 6, which will have 50 coins in it.
Wario: -but The Great Wario thinks he'll go with case 6!
Lemmy: Cackletta, open your case.
Cackletta opens her case. Her case has 50 coins.
Wario: No! The Great Wario just lost a whole 50 coins!
Lemmy: Well, round over, let me phone the banker.
Lemmy looks into the banker's booth to see Larry has fled from the banker's booth.
Lemmy: Oh no he didn't.
Roy: Oh yes he did.
Lemmy: You know what?!
Lemmy runs into the banker's booth with a phone, grabs the phone up there, and calls himself, pretending to be the banker.
Lemmy: I, or, I mean, the banker, is going to offer you 120,000 coins. So Wario, Deal, or No Deal?
Wario: A whole 120,000 coins?! Deal!
Lemmy: Um... All right.
Wario hands Lemmy his case, and Lemmy hands him 120,000 coins.
Wario: The Great Wario is rich!
Lemmy: So let's see how many coins were in your case.
Lemmy opens Wario's case to find it has 1,000,000 coins in it.
Wario: ...
Roy: Moron.
Wario: Wah! The Great Wario just lost 1,000,000 coins! No!
Lemmy: Ha-ha!
Wario wobbles away crying.
Lemmy: Well, that's all the time we have for today. See you next time on-
Roy: I still refuse to scream.
Lemmy: Wow, whenever I want something done, I have to do it myself. Well, that's all the time we have for today. See you next time on (screaming in a high-pitched girly voice): Deal! Or! No Deal!
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