World 1-1
One day Wario is playing a videogame. Waluigi comes to watch.
Waluigi: What in the world are you playing?
Wario: Super Wario Bros!
Waluigi: Um, don�t you mean Super MARIO Bros?
Wario: No, I don�t. Look, that�s me!
An extremely ugly Wario sprite is walking around.
Wario: Isn�t it great?
Waluigi: Looks like what I ate for lunch.
Wario: �
A Goomba appears. Wario jumps, but he�s so fat, he can�t clear the Goomba�s height. He dies.
Waluigi: Ha! How are you supposed to defeat him?
Wario: Watch this!
After restarting, Wario jumps a few feet away from the Goomba, and the ground under the Goomba sinks, so he can be jumped on. Wario squishes him with his enormous girth.
Wario: Ha! Beat that!
Waluigi: At least it matches you in real life. I still need a ladder to escape my bed.
Wario continues along, and a pipe is in the way. Wario jumps and the pipe lowers.
Waluigi: Oh come on!
At the end of the level, Wario can�t reach the flagpole, so he jumps continuously until the flag is reachable. He grabs it and gets a 1-Up.
Waluigi: You stink.
World 1-2
Inside the pipes, Wario jumps multiple times to clear pipes and enemies. At the moving platforms, he stops.
Waluigi: You�re stuck now, aren�t you?
Wario: Just you wait!
He holds Down + B.
Waluigi: What the�?
Wario charges energy, and then releases a giant fart, propelling him 10 feet higher.
Waluigi: That�s cheap.
World 1-4
Waluigi: Ha! You can�t clear that lava!
Wario: Don�t worry about it.
He holds Up + B. He transforms into a bat and flies across the pit.
Waluigi: You have got to be kidding me!
At the boss area, there is a giant Blooper.
Waluigi: How do you defeat the Blooper?
Wario: Like this!
He presses B, and shoots out a garlic clove. The Blooper is now paralyzed.
Waluigi: Now what?
Wario presses Side + B.
Wario (in the game): Falcon Punch!
Waluigi: Why does he say that? Isn�t that copyrighted?
Wario: That was my idea.
Waluigi: You recreated a copyrighted game?! With copyrighted voices?!
Wario: I thought it was a good idea.
Waluigi: �
The Blooper dies.
World 2-2
Waluigi: How are you supposed to swim? You�re too fat to jump!
Wario: The old-fashioned way!
A bunch of jumps later�
Waluigi: You drained the water!
Wario: Now I can walk without the fish bothering me!
World 2-3
Wario: These Cheep Cheeps are annoying!
Waluigi: I bet you will die.
Wario: I bet I won�t.
Wario mashes the B button, and throws 30 billion garlic cloves.
Waluigi: How stupid.
Wario: It works.
World 2-4
Another Blooper.
World 3-4
Another Blooper.
World 4-1
Wario: I love Lakitu. But how to defeat him� I need his cloud to progress.
Waluigi: Try going to Cheeseland! They have the solution to everything!
Wario: Good idea!
PAUSE
At Cheeseland�
Wario: I need you to come to my house and help me!
Worker: Sure!
Back at home�
Worker: You just need to turn into a bat, fly above the Lakitu, and stop in midair. Squish him and fly away on the cloud.
Wario: Thanks!
He leaves.
Waluigi: You don�t know how to beat your own game?
Wario: It�s self-creating!
UNPAUSE
Wario hijacks the cloud, and beats the level.
Wario: I�m just that good.
Waluigi rolls his eyes.
World 4-2
Instead of pipes, a desert area comes into focus. The Angry Sun attacks.
Wario: Ack! Garlic Clove power!
Angry Sun is now paralyzed.
Wario (in the game): Falcon Punch!
Kaboom. Angry Sun explodes.
Wario: Ha ha.
World 4-4
Now, instead of a Blooper, a Magikoopa appears.
Wario: Garlic Clove!
The Magikoopa is unfazed.
Waluigi: Looks like you finally met your match! Serves you right.
Wario: Arg! Falcon Punch!
Wario hits one of the magic blasts, sending it back at the Magikoopa. It dies.
Waluigi: This has GOT to be rigged.
Wario: I won I won, I won I won I won�
Waluigi: Shut up.
World 5-4
Another Magikoopa.
World 6-4
Wario: A wave machine?
Waluigi: A LAVA wave machine!
Wario: I can cook my garlic!
Waluigi: �
Wario: Mmm� Garlic.
He tosses in some garlic, and the machine cuts out because of the smell.
Waluigi: How strange. I wish I was as lucky as you.
Wario: Everybody thinks that.
World 7-3
Wario: Ah, Cloud World! My favorite level.
Waluigi: Um, no. It�s another Cheep Cheep bridge.
Wario: So?
A Lakitu appears out of nowhere.
Wario: Arg! I have to deal with a Lakitu AND Cheep Cheeps? This stinks!
Wario presses Down in the air out of anger. He does a ground pound, and all the enemies on the screen vanish because he weighs so much.
Wario: Cool!
Waluigi: Stupid.
World 7-4
Another castle, another boss. This time it�s�
Wario: Bowser?
Waluigi: Shouldn�t he be in the NEXT world?
Wario: Who cares?! Garlic Clove Power! Falcon Punch!
Bowser falls into the lava.
Waluigi: That was lame.
World 8-1
This is the famous speed level that was impossible to clear without dashing. Unfortunately for Wario, he cannot dash.
Wario: I can�t dash.
Waluigi: Why not? You were moving 2 miles per hour; you should be able to dash faster than that!
Wario: Um, that WAS my dashing.
Waluigi: You mean your normal speed is 1 mile per hour?! You�re so stinking fat!
Wario: Hmm�
He jumps on a Koopa and starts sliding really fast on it.
Waluigi: Wow. That was dumb.
Wario: I don�t think so!
World 8-4
Ah, the final level. Wario has the weighty (pun intended) responsibility of finishing the game. Does he have the gut (another pun intended) to beat it?
Wario: I think so!
Waluigi: Who�s your final opponent? I can see the fireballs!
Wario: That�s a mini-boss, you moron.
A flamethrower is throwing flames. Wario plugs it up with garlic and it explodes.
Wario: Ha!
Waluigi: What�s that?
A Hammer Br. attacks.
Wario: Let�s see whose projectiles are stronger!
After a battle of wits (and smell) Wario is victorious. (The details are too gruesome to recount.)
Wario: I�m the king of the world!
Waluigi: More like the king of the fatties.
Wario: Shut up.
Mario appears.
Waluigi: HE�S the final boss?!
Wario: Luckily for me, I made him easy to beat, to help with my self confidence.
Wario squishes him, and the credits roll.
Wario: I wish this were real life! I won I won, I won I won I won�
Waluigi: I can�t believe how ludicrous this game is.
Wario: Well, time for dinner. Bye bye!
Waluigi waits for Wario to leave, and then starts the game up.
Waluigi: If I�m lucky, I can beat his high score!
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