Thumbs: Ah, another day, another fourth wall-breaking Interview. Who are you interviewing today?

Dark Koopa: I'm interviewing Whomp. Does that mean anything to you?

Thumbs: Yup. It reminded me I have to look after my sick mother, bye!

(Thumbs floats away.)

Dark Koopa: Thumbs has a mother?

Audience: Lies!

Dark Koopa: Uhh... Fries! I need an assistant! Pura, get me an assistant, now.

Pura: Fine.

(Pura runs into the audience and gets a Toad with a black cap and yellow stars.)

Pura: Will he do?

Dark Koopa: Yeah, that's fine. Dump him here.

Toad with black cap with yellow stars: The name's Little C. And can I at least finish my hotdog?

Dark Koopa: Nope.

Little C: Wrong! I can!

(Little C devours the hotdog.)

Pura: Great. You had your hotdog, now on with the Interview.

Whomp: Hi.

Little C: I'm gonna ruin this Interview... Lies!

Dark Koopa: Don't!

Audience: Fries!

Little C: Dies!

Audience: Pies!

Little C: Ties!

Audience: Cries!

Little C: Flies!

Pura: Wow, I couldn't have picked a worse assistant, huh?

Dark Koopa: I'm clearly hated.

Whomp: Am I here to be interviewed or not?!

Dark Koopa: Yup. Fungus-face, ask a question.

Little C: Why are you made of stone?

Whomp: I was a sidewalk.

Little C: How did you become... living?

Whomp: Magikoopa did it. Gave me a face, legs, arms, and a weakness.

Little C: And what's that?

Whomp: This bandaid on my back? Someone ground pounds it and I'm done.

Dark Koopa: Then why do you try to fall on people so you make your weakness easier to take advantage of?

Whomp: How else am I supposed to attack? Not like my arms can pick up anything.

Dark Koopa: Why not just fall on your back?

Whomp: ...

Little C: Why doesn't that Yoshi girl have to ask any questions?

Pura: I'm not an interviewer, stupid Mushroomer.

Little C: Your point being?

Pura: I'm not supposed to ask questions.

Dark Koopa: Wait... Something's wrong.

Whomp: What is?

Dark Koopa: You didn't answer my question.

Whomp: Oh. Well, I'd just fall on my weak spot, wouldn't I?

Little C: Nope.

Dark Koopa: Audience time?

(The audience is sleeping.)

Little C: You've got to pretend you enjoy interviewing people, even if you're surrounded by idiots like that Yoshi.

(Pura glares at Little C with her eyes filled with hatred.)

Dark Koopa: How?

Little C: As such.

(Little C grabs a mic...)

Little C: HEEEY, YOU PEOPLE!!!

Audience: Huh?

Little C: HOW ABOUT WE DO A *censored* *censored* INTERVIEW RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOOOOW? :-D

Audience: YEAEAEAH!!!

Pura: GET THAT EMOTE OUT OF THE INTERVIEW!

Dark Koopa: All right. Happy now?

Pura: No. It's still there.

Dark Koopa: Seat 84!

Thumbs: The audience is still asleep.

Dark Koopa: Wha? When did you get back?

Thumbs: They woke up and fell asleep again. And it turns out my mother is uh... on vacation.

Dark Koopa: Oh... Well, why are you always gray?

Whomp: Sidewalks are gray, aren't they?

Dark Koopa: Not always...

Whomp: Well, then not all Whomps are gray. It's definitely a rarity to find one another color though.

Pura: Grr...

Thumbs: Hmm, something tells me to avoid Pura, but at the same time, something tells me that Mushroom guy is going to be the one to suffer, not me.

Little C: Eh?

Thumbs: Nothing.

Dark Koopa: How come you're not in many games?

Whomp: We're not really a common minion. According to Bowser, we're not very useful either...

Dark Koopa: Goombas appear a lot.

Whomp: Yeah, but they can't make a bridge when they're pushed down.

Little C: Why is your face so strange?

Whomp: Well what do you expect? Falling on your face all the time? That doesn't do it any good!

Little C: Shut up, sidewalk. I'm talking to Pura.

Thumbs: This is gonna get messy...

(Thumbs sips a slushie.)

Pura: You're pushing my tolerance to the edge, Mushroom.

Dark Koopa: Little C, stop challenging Pura. Pura... don't explode, okay? Exploding is bad. Very bad.

(Crates are smashed on Thumbs, Pura, Little C, and Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: Did we break the fourth wall?

Pura: No...

Little C: Whomp, how the *censored* *censored* did you miss Mario three times? I mean, you can hardly look past someone that fat!

Whomp: Look at my eyes. I can't look straight. It's from falling on my face.

Dark Koopa: Little C, your swearing isn't good for ratings. Lemmy is angry with us.

Lemmy: I am?

Dark Koopa: Uh, yep.

Lemmy: I don't feel very angry...

Pura: I'm angry.

Dark Koopa: Well there you go, Lemmy. Your anger is in the form of Pura... I think.

Lemmy: Ohhh... What now?

Dark Koopa: Never mind.

Little C: To run or not to run, that is the question.

Pura: Oh, go ahead and run. It makes things more fun for me.

Little C: Yeah. Bye.

(Little C runs off.)

Pura: Fool.

(Pura follows.)

Dark Koopa: Well, uh, Whomp, why do you hang out with Thwomp all the time?

Whomp: We have a lot in common. We can relate to things since we're both made of stone. I only talk to the blue Thwomps though. Those spiked Thwomps are pretty mean.

Dark Koopa: So... Do you do anything besides trying to fall on people and stuff?

Whomp: I do something in Mario Party.

Dark Koopa: Oh yeah. You're a road block... So creative...

Whomp: Yep.

Dark Koopa: Get a job.

Whomp: It is a job.

Dark Koopa: A real job.

Whomp: Well, fine, I'll go be Dark Boo's bodyguard. Even though he doesn't pay us.

Dark Koopa: That's better. It's not like I get paid eith- Hey... Lemmy...

Lemmy: What?

Dark Koopa: Where's my money?

Lemmy: In that active volcano.

Dark Koopa: Ooh, goodie!

(Dark Koopa runs off.)

Lemmy: End transmission.

Little C: Ow... Thank goodness for life insurance...