(Dark Koopa walks into the studio.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: No one is here yet, and the cameras are off.

Lemmy: Oh.

Several hours later...

Lemmy: They here yet?

Dark Koopa: Yes.

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Thumbs: Why'd you let him say it?

Dark Koopa: I gave up trying to say it weeks ago.

Silver: But didn't you just try to say it first yesterday?

Dark Koopa: Who is this that points out my lies?

Silver: That would be me. You know, the person standing right next to you?

Dark Koopa: You mean Thumbs? Thumbs! How dare you point out my lies?!

(Pink bashes Dark Koopa with a hammer.)

Dark Koopa: Oh, it's YOU! You help me interview now since half my brain was just destroyed.

Silver: That would require having a brain in the first place, Dark

Dark Koopa: (to himself) Darn, he's got me there. (aloud) Nonsense, just introduce the interviewee because I don't remember who it is.

Silver: Right. Well then, we'll be interviewing everyone's favorite ghost with a sheet over his head, Doopliss!

Dark Koopa: I liked the ghost Thumbs was for Halloween better...

(Doopliss comes into the studio.)

Doopliss: Hey Slicks!

Dark Koopa: Hey moron!

Silver: Hello ghost person.

Beldam: He's the freak-in-a-sheet!

Doopliss: My name's DOOPLISS!

Silver: Didn't you not want anyone to know your name?

Doopliss: I did, but Mario started blabbing my name to everybody so I couldn't snatch their name and body, so now I want to be famous!

Dark Koopa: Fame's overrated.

Pink: You're just saying that because everyone hates you.

Audience: Boo...

Boo: I'm so popular!

Dark Koopa: So, why did you join up with the Shadow Sirens?

Doopliss: Well, I ran into them after Mario beat me, and they were discussing a way to beat Mario, so I decided to help them because I wanted revenge.

Beldam: More liked you begged us to help you!

Doopliss: You were whining about the fact Vivian quit your little group!

Marilyn: GUH!

Doopliss: As for you, you're just fat!

Dark Koopa: So, you don't like being a member of the Shadow Sirens?

Doopliss: No, I don't. Who would want to be insulted all the time and be called an almost-pretty?

(Half the audience rasises their hands.)

Doopliss: Well other than them!

Dark Koopa: Me.

Everyone on Plit: Me.

Silver: How did they know...?

Doopliss: So, the other half of the audience changed their mind, huh?

Silver: Don't blame me, blame the fact that everyone felt the undesirable urge to say me at the same time.

Dark Koopa: I know. I just felt the urge!

Thumbs: I hate shampoo commercials...

Silver: Okay, so how did you rip out of the background all those times that Mario had to pass you? And how did you repair it before he got back?

Doopliss: Those were just GameCube graphics. I was actually just hiding behind a tree.

Dark Koopa: ...

Silver: Where exactly did you go when you took over Mario's body?

Doopliss: I took Mario's body and ran all over Twilight Town with his "friends" gloating about my victory. I was famous!

Dark Koopa: I just said fame was overrated, did I not?

Silver: Yup.

Doopliss: Isn't he already a pig?

(Mario is seen eating pasta off the floor.)

Silver: He has a point.

Dark Koopa: I'm not satisfied with that answer.

Doopliss: Well, how would I have known he could beat me?!

Silver: Well he HAS saved the world a dozen or so times..

Doopliss: I live alone in a tower... you think I'd hear about it?

Silver: You should really get out more.

Doopliss: Never!

Dark Koopa: Shut up. Audience time.

Thumbs: I need to say something! Seat 14.

Boo: What was the deal with keeping us in that box?

Doopliss: When you guys are Atomic Boo, you're as powerful as me! I'm not gonna let you overthrow me!

Boo: Hey... that's a good idea!

Doopliss: Uh oh.

(The Boo floats out of the room.)

Silver: Looks like you're going to have to get out more now.

Doopliss: I hate you...

Dark Koopa: Seat 54.

Pura: Since when does Silver do Interviews?

Doopliss: That isn't a question about me!

Pura: I still want it answered.

Dark Koopa: In order to keep my head, I'll allow it.

Silver: Something to do with mind control... and rabid monkeys.

Pura: Why have you been avoiding me? I thought you liked me!

Silver: I haven't been. But the times I'm not doing Interviews, I tend to be strapped into a chair and forced to watch Totally Spies in order to keep me from running.

Pura: Where is this going on?!

(Silver points backstage. Pura quickly runs there, where a lot of destruction is heard.)

Dark Koopa: I'm glad I'm insured. Seat 41.

X-Naut: So why were you, like, keeping that Crystal Star, dude, sir?

Doopliss: Look at how shiny it is! I'm sure it's worth loads of cash!

Dark Koopa: If you never planned on leaving your tower, how would you have cashed it in?

Doopliss: Um, door-to-door buyers?

Silver: Never heard of those before.

Dark Koopa: Me neither.

Doopliss: Urgh... Okay! It's just... pretty, okay?! I'm not all dark! I like some pretty things once in a while! Those stupid Twilighters are always so ugly and dark! I can't get anything from them!

Silver: Interesting... Seat 6.

Bill Blaster: ...

Thumbs: (in a hoarse voice) Where did you find the Crystal Star?

Doopliss: It fell in the well outside of my tower. What's wrong with your voice?

Bill Blaster: ...

Thumbs: I have a chicken bone in my throat.

Doopliss: But you're not even moving your lips!

Thumbs: Just shut up. Or might I ask: Do you like Yoshis?

Doopliss: Mario had a Yoshi partner, so no!

Silver, Pink, and Pura: WHAT?!

(Doopliss gets a triple beating.)

Dark Koopa: Hooray!

Doopliss: ... Pain...

Dark Koopa: Well, I guess we can end transmission now, unless Doopliss wants to answer what it's like to get beat up by three Yoshis.

Doopliss: It hurts!

Dark Koopa: Well... there you go!

Thumbs: End transmission.

Bill Blaster: ...