Dark Koopa: Thumbs, what are you doing?

(Thumbs can be seen dancing with a plunger.)

Thumbs: Plunger plunger! Yeah!

Mario: PLUNGER!

(Mario runs out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: Yay!

Rawk Hawk: That Lakitu sure can RAAAAWWWKKK!

Dark Koopa: Forget it. Thumbs is busy, so I'll pick an interviewee.

Pink: Can it be like the Price is Right?

Dark Koopa: I guess.

Pink: (in Rod Roddey's voice) Rawk Hawk, come on down! You're the next contestant on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

(The camera pans in all kinds of crazy directions.)

Rawk Hawk: Yeah! I won!

(Rawk Hawk runs down to the stage, excited. Pink rips his nametag off.)

Rawk Hawk: Ow...

Pink: Haha!

Rawk Hawk: No one can resist the RAWWWK! Which is why you picked me.

Pink: Actually, I picked you because you're the only one in the audience.

Rawk Hawk: Where'd the audience go?

Dark Koopa: I'd rather not discuss the popularity of this show. I'd rather know why you're gold.

Rawk Hawk: I painted my feathers gold after I became champ.

Dark Koopa: Why'd you do that?

Rawk Hawk: Do you think pink is the appropriate color of a champ like me?!

Pink: What's wrong with pink?!

Rawk Hawk: Not my style. I have a RAWWWK and ROLL style!

Pink: ... Weirdo.

Dark Koopa: You're a hawk, right?

Rawk Hawk: Yeah! HAWWWK! RAWWWK!

Dark Koopa: Then why can't you fly?

Rawk Hawk: I have no need to fly. Besides, I can still jump really high.

Dark Koopa: So you're telling me you turned down a life of flight?

Rawk Hawk: I'd like to fly. I really would. But my buff bod is too heavy for wings to carry. Out of all my muscles, my wings are the ones I worked the least.

Dark Koopa: Hey, it appears we have some audience members now. And they're all from the Glitz Pit. I guess they want you to receive a beating. It's a shame they're in for a disappointment. Pink's too busy to give out beatings today.

Pink: (while reading a newspaper) You say something?

Dark Koopa: Nope.

Rawk Hawk: RAWWWK!

Dark Koopa: How did you get another fake Gold Star after Mario took the belt from you?

Rawk Hawk: I got it from this Pennington guy. He seems to be a wiz at making fake Crytsal Stars.

Dark Koopa: Ah, so you know about the Crystal Stars now?

Rawk Hawk: That's right. Jolene told me about them after Mario beat up the Shadow Queen.

Dark Koopa: I guess we should take audience questions now. Seat 11.

Bandy Andy: How did you beat those Iron Clefts?

Rawk Hawk: Easy. I used my sliding attack, which knocked one Cleft into the other.

Dark Koopa: Seat 7.

Dark Craw: How'd you bring the ceiling down when you fought Mario?

Rawk Hawk: There's a button under the ring that does it. If you stomp the floor hard enough, it's activated.

Dark Craw: Where'd you get the Mushrooms from while you were up there?

Rawk Hawk: There's a secret room up there full of medical supplies, most of which are Mushrooms.

Dark Koopa: I'm not surprised they keep a place that helps others a secret. Seat 9.

King K: What'd you do before you became a fighter, dog?

Rawk Hawk: I was in a rock band. RAWWWK!

Dark Koopa: I'm not surprised. Seat-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: Why yes it is. I don't care anymore.

Lemmy: Yes! My life's goal is complete! Mwahahaha! I must celebrate!

(Lemmy runs out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: Seat 2.

Shady Koopa: Where's your secret training facitlity? I need to know so I can get stronger, baby!

Rawk Hawk: If I told you that, I'd have to kill you. Nobody knows but me!

Shady Koopa: Bowser does...

Rawk Hawk: ARGH! Fine, it's in one of Bowser's many abandoned castles. I'm not saying which.

Flare: How do you feel about Grubba? After all, he was eventually going to suck up your energy with this machine.

Rawk Hawk: His machine is no match for the RAWWWK! But even so, I should still give Grubba a knuckle sandwich for even thinking about it.

(Roy runs into the studio.)

Roy: I'm the only one who gives knuckle sandwiches around here!

Rawk Hawk: BRING IT ON!!! You don't want to mess with the RAWWWK!

(Roy and Rawk Hawk get into a cartoon cloud fight.)

Dark Koopa: Well, this is a hopeless fight, so... END TRANSMISSION!

(Thumbs smashes the camera with a plunger.)

Lemmy: Hey! I heard that, narrator!

Rawk Hawk: RAWWWK!