Dark Koopa: Can I interview that old-school guy now?
Dark Koopa: Yes. I want an interviewee that I can execute on my own.
Thumbs: Fine.
(Goomba walks onstage.)
Dark Koopa: Hey, I know you.
Goomba: And I know you.
Dark Koopa: So... we know each other.
Goomba: You're the guy who keeps making us Goombas look weak and moronic!
Pink: You mean you're not weak and moronic?
Dark Koopa: And you're the guy who is the same species as Gloombas, which I absolutely hate!
Kolorado: Boulderdash!
Dark Koopa: Watch your language! There are children reading this, ya know.
Goomba: Just interview me.
Dark Koopa: Fine. What are you, exactly?
Goomba: We're Mushroomers who work, or had worked at one time, for Bowser because we don't like Peach.
Dark Koopa: Who does?
(Everyone in the audience rasises their hands.)
Dark Koopa: Who asked you?
(Everyone in the audience points at Dark Koopa.)
Dark Koopa: Put those arms down before I rip them off. Speaking of which, why don't you have arms?
Goomba: Bowser's cruel way of telling us apart from other Goombas is to rip our arms off.
Dark Koopa: What about Goombas that don't work for Bowser?
Goomba: They quit, or at least, their parents or grandparents did. Apparently missing a limb can be genetic through Mushroomers...
Dark Koopa: That's odd. I heard Gloombas don't work for Bowser. Is this true?
Goomba: Yes, they work for the X-Nauts, and they hid out in the sewers and in the Pit of 100 Trials until Grodus ordered an attack, but he never did.
Dark Koopa: Now I know why I hate Gloombas... So what's with Spiked Goombas? Where did they get their spike?
Goomba: It's just a hat.
Dark Koopa: I should've known. Why are Goombas so common?
Goomba: Goombas have an extremely hard time finding work. They'll do anything to be a part of Bowser's army, which includes major pay cuts. That allows Bowser to hire lots of us since he doesn't have to pay them much.
Dark Koopa: I think it's about time we had audience questions. Seat 85.
White: Why did you sic Pink on me?
(White can be seen in a wheelchair and full body cast.)
Dark Koopa: I felt like it. Now ask a question.
White: Why are Goombas so weak?
Goomba: Well, I have no upper body strength since I have no arms.
Dark Koopa: Seat 312.
Clawgrip: Why didn't you appear in Mario 2?
Goomba: Wart doesn't hire weaklings like Bowser does.
Dark Koopa: You've clearly never played Mario 2 then. Seat 9.
Fire Bro: Why did you appear rather late in Mario World?
Goomba: Iggy kicked us all out. That's why we didn't appear on Yoshi's Island. We appeared in Donut Plains though.
Fire Bro: How come it took two stomps to beat you in that game?
Goomba: Bowser gave us some armor. It was heavy though. We were flipped if we were stomped on once.
Dark Koopa: Seat 47.
Clawdia: What are Microgoombas?
Goomba: Those are Goomba young.
Clawdia: What?! Bowser forces children to fight Mario?!
Goomba: Yup.
Clawdia: Bowser!
Bowser: Yes?
Clawdia: Are there any other children that you force to fight Mario?
Bowser: Nope.
(The Koopalings can be seen waving their hands frantically.)
Dark Koopa: Seat 1.
Thumbs: What-
Dark Koopa: Oh no you don't. Seat 18.
Thumbs: Errr...
Wario: Why are Goombas so dumb?
Goomba: That is such a stereotype. There are some smart Goombas too, like Professor Frankly. There's just not many. Now everything thinks we're weak and stupid thanks to writers like Dark Koopa.
Dark Koopa: (while looking into the camera) And viewers like you.
Goomba: I'm sick of you ruining our rep. Now you must die!
(Goomba karate kicks at Dark Koopa, but misses and goes out the window.)
Dark Koopa: Aww, I didn't get to execute him.
Pink: I'll execute you. How about that?
Dark Koopa: No thanks.
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