Dark Koopa: Today I'm interviewing Wooster. Right? Right?!

Thumbs: Yup.

Dark Koopa: I gotta try this "looking at the title" thing more often.

Wooster: Why am I being interviewed by this smelly sack of garbage?

Dark Koopa: Sack?!

Pink: You really should've seen this coming. I mean, you have like 15 cameos.

Wooster: And they were all lousy.

Dark Koopa: Better than Yellow's.

Yellow: Hello.

Echo: Hello.

Yellow: Ooo, echo! Hello, my name is Yellow.

Echo: You're an idiot!

Yellow: Errr...

Dark Koopa: Please explain to the audience how you are a Mario character, because you never appeared in any Mario game or cartoon.

Wooster: I appeared in the story called Double Trouble.

(The audience looks confused.)

Wooster: In the Mario choose-your-own adventure book.

(The audience looks more confused.)

Wooster: You know, I've been interviewed before. I'm not going over this again.

Dark Koopa: You seem rather irritable today.

Wooster: Well, this studio is very,very, VERY, dirty, and I don't have my vacuum cleaner.

Dark Koopa: I suppose that's a reasonable excuse. Why are you so obsessed with cleaning anyway?

Wooster: I have a sort of phobia with anything dirty, so I do anything in my power to keep things clean.

Dark Koopa: Where did this phobia come from?

Wooster: I was born with it. The Shine family has always hated dirt.

Dark Koopa: I have a phobia of my own...

Wooster: Wait a second...

(Wooster somehow sees a bit of dust in Yellow's hair.)

Wooster: Dust! My archenemy!

(Wooster runs up thousands of rows of seats to dust off Yellow.)

Yellow: Why, thank you.

(Wooster sprays some Windex in Yellow's eyes.)

Yellow: Oww! What was that for?!

Wooster: For having poor hygiene!

(Wooster runs back to the stage.)

Wooster: *pant*

Dark Koopa: How did you see that?

Wooster: The Shine family also has superb vision.

Dark Koopa: Many people don't know what you look like. Can you explain your appearance?

Wooster: They can see me.

Dark Koopa: The readers can't.

Wooster: Fine. I'm a Mushroomer and my cap is red-spotted.

Dark Koopa: That it?

Wooster: They don't need to know any more.

Dark Koopa: How did you get your job?

Wooster: Peach hired me after I was able to clean up after one of Mario's "parties".

Dark Koopa: What's your job like?

Wooster: It's okay. Not too many people around Peach's Castle make messes. Except Peach herself. That spoiled brat intentionally makes messes for me to clean up. I'm treated as bad as Toad.

Toad: Well I never!

(Toad stomps out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: How do you feel about Koopas?

Wooster: Most of them are fairly clean, so I have no problem with them. You, however, are not clean.

Dark Koopa: Yeah yeah. I think I've heard it from you enough times. What about Bowser?

Wooster: He kidnapped me once, but the dungeon was very clean to my surprise. I think it was because it was his son Larry's dungeon cell.

Dark Koopa: And the Marios?

Wooster: Luigi's okay, but Mario's an absolute pig. What does he do that doesn't make a mess?

(Mario does nothing.)

Wooster: There's your answer. Nothing.

Pink: What about Yoshis?

Wooster: What's not to like about them? It's hard to make a mess when you eat something in one bite.

Thumbs: Then who's your worst enemy?

Wooster: This eskimo named Strange One. He keeps throwing confetti around for me to clean up.

(Sure enough, Strange One runs in and throws some confetti around, which causes Wooster to chase him out fo the studio.)

Dark Koopa: That's all we have for today.

Thumbs: Why no audience questions?

Dark Koopa: Well, look at them.

(The audience looks confused.)

Dark Koopa: They're slow.

(The audience still looks confused.)

Dark Koopa: They're idiots.

(Ditto.)

Dark Koopa: I can't dumb it down any further. They're taking the train to Stupid Town.

Yellow: Hey buddy, what are they saying down there?

(Yellow taps the shoulder of the character next to him. This causes a domino effect and eventually the whole audience falls down, revealing they were cardboard.)

Dark Koopa: Well, that explains a lot.

Yellow: Can I have a closer seat?

Dark Koopa: No.

Thumbs: End transmission.

Pink: Quee...