Thumbs: Hello and welcome to-

Pink: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Lemmy: ... I'm not even gonna ask.

Dark Koopa: Who am I interviewing today?

Thumbs: I really wish you'd look at the title more. You're interviewing Diddy Kong.

Dark Koopa: What? He's not even a Mario character.

Thumbs: Actually, he kinda is now. He appeared in a few Mario games.

Dark Koopa: Fine. I'll interview the fake.

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Dark Koopa: Don't do that.

Diddy: Hoo haw!

Dark Koopa: ... Stupid monkey. What Mario games have you appeared in?

Diddy: Double Dash and Toadstool Tour. It's likely I'll appear in more games like that too.

Dark Koopa: Why are you in these games?

Diddy: Because my uncle DK is in them. I want to be just like him.

Dark Koopa: You really need to choose a better role model.

(Donkey Kong can be seen in the audience with a banana shoved up his nose.)

Dark Koopa: Why do you wear that hat?

Diddy: (quickly) Because it's hip and hop and stupid and pop and fresh.

Dark Koopa: ...

Diddy: Like this stereo.

(Diddy takes out a stereo. Dark Koopa quickly smashes it with a bat.)

Dark Koopa: No music. The only music anyone gets to hear is the midi Lemmy feels like giving for this Interview.

Lemmy: You're nothing without me...

Diddy: Eeeeeee! Waaaaah!

Dark Koopa: Alright, shut up before I stuff you in a barrel labeled "DK".

Diddy: ... Okay.

Dark Koopa: Why didn't you appear in any earlier games that DK did?

Diddy: He said I was too young to participate. But by Toadstool Tour I was old enough.

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Dark Koopa: ...

Thumbs: Time for audience questions.

Pink: Seat 7.

Dark Koopa: I don't need you doing my job for me.

Pink: Fine. Go ahead.

Dark Koopa: Time for... uh... line!

Pink: Audience questions.

Dark Koopa: Oh right. Seat 7.

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Buzzar: BUZZAH!

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Dark Koopa: Catch phrases are stupid. Seat 19.

P. Diddy: Now I want you to take a picture of a monkey holding these balloons.

Diddy: Me?

Dark Koopa: BALLOONS!

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Buzzar: BUZZAH!

Bullet Bill: Alluminum!

Dark Koopa: Seat 2.

Rawk Hawk: How did you make the big banana?

Diddy: We just taped a bunch of regular bananas together and covered them in plaster.

Rawk Hawk: What was the point of the plaster?

Diddy: Hey, it's gotta look convincing.

Dark Koopa: Seat 11.

Larry: Why haven't any of the other Kongs appeared in any Mario games besides you, DK, and DK Jr?

Diddy: They're much more concerned about protecting the banana hoarde from the Kremlings. There might be a chance of another Kong joining, but it's a slim one.

(Thumbs drops a piano on Luigi for no reason.)

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Dark Koopa: Seat one with a lot of zeros behind it.

Yellow: How do you feel about Bowser?

Diddy: Well, he's only been my opponent in golf and racing, but I still don't like him because he's cousin to King K. Rool, my arch-enemy.

P. Diddy: Now I want you to go to the Bronx and get me a plunger with a balloon tied to it.

Dark Koopa: BALLOON!

Mario: PLUNGER!

Thumbs: HUZZAH!

Buzzar: BUZZAH!

Bowser: WAZZUP!

Bullet Bill: Alluminum!

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Pink: End transmission please!