Lemmy: Welcome to Lemmy's Interviews, The Wendy Show, and The BB Show!

(Lemmy is onstage along with Wendy and Blackbelt, both of whom are tied up and gagged.)

Lemmy: Yes, we're all here today, but I'm afraid the others are both tongue-tied so I'll be the only one talking today.

Morton: Don't forget me! I'm here too and I have a lot to say like have you noticed the sky is especially blue and the grass is especially green today and what if we flipped it over do you think we'd all fall off the planet of maybe-

Lemmy: I'm the only one talking today! Now, my guest today is Garfield Cat. He isn't a Mario character or anything but someone asked me to interview him. Unfortunately, he couldn't be awoken from his twenty-two hours of slumber, so I won't be able to ask him any questions until he-

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!

(Garfield, sleeping on the chair next to Lemmy's, suddenly jumps to attention.)

Garfield: Wedding cake? Where?

Lemmy: Well, looks like he actually is still alive! How are you doing today, Garfield?

Garfield: I'm hungry.

Lemmy: How about you tell us a little about your cartoon, for those out there who haven't seen it.

Garfield: I'm not talkin' until I get some lasagna or some of the wedding cake.

Morton: And I'm not talking either until I get some wedding cake so givee here because I know you want to here what I have to say but you won't until you give me some wedding cake but nyah!

Lemmy: Well then, no one's getting wedding cake! Garfield, I think I have some microwavable lasagna in the fridge. I'll have my servants make it and you'll have it in three minutes.

Garfield: You have servants to get food for you? I have to get all my food myself. Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to get from the chair in the TV room to the refridgerator? It's nearly unbearable!

Lemmy: How about you tell us about your cartoon while we wait the remaining two minutes and twenty-three seconds?

Garfield: I live in a house with an idiot and a stupid dog named Odie and I eat.

Jon: That's true except for the stupid dog part.

Garfield: I rest my case. Oh, and sometimes I have to send Nermal to Abudabi or help Binky get his show back or tick off the Buddy Bears.

Lemmy: Sounds like you have a very interesting life! Forty-seven more seconds.

Garfield: It's ok, but doing the show takes time out of my eating and sleeping schedule.

(The microwave beeps and a servant rushes out with several tins of lasagna.)

Garfield: It's about time.

Lemmy: Wait! Now it's time for our special event! Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi, get up here on stage.

Garfield: This had better not take long.

Luigi: This-a way, Mario.

(Mario is walking backwards.)

Mario: It-a sure is a long way to the stage!

The three contestants reach the stage and take a seat.

Yoshi: Ooh! Food look good!

Garfield: Keep your tongue on your own lasagna.

Lemmy: Ok, now whoever can eat the most lasagna without exploding is the winner. On your mark, get set, go!

All four contestants start eating, three of them chowing down.

Mario: Good-a thing I ate fifty burritoes for breakfast!

(Luigi, who had been eating daintily and with a napkin, slowly edges his way off the stage. When he reaches his seat he explodes.)

Lemmy: Well that was strange! Looks like Luigi is out!

(Yoshi eats Mario.)

Yoshi: Yoshi win!

Lemmy: Yoshi, you still have to beat Garfield.

(Garfield is eating too quickly to speak. Then Mario explodes from the burritoes and Yoshi goes down with him.)

Lemmy: Looks like Garfield wins!

Garfield: (taking a quick pause) As if there was any doubt.

Lemmy: So what is the most you ever ate?

Garfield: I'm eating here!

Bowser: Lemmy! Those lasagnas are coming out of your allowance!

Lemmy: Ooh boy. Well, until next time, I suggest you stay on a diet!

(The camera closes, the sounds of Garfield eating still ringing loud and clear.)