Dark Koopa: What do you two want?

Pink: You didn't let us hug you yet.

Dark Koopa: You do realize that was three weeks ago, right?

Thumbs: I remember. I haven't bathed in that long.

Dark Koopa: That explains the smell. Anyways, you two need to go. I have an Interview to do.

Pink: I'm not leaving until I get a hug.

Dark Koopa: *sigh* Fine.

(Dark Koopa hugs Pink.)

Dark Koopa: There.

Pink: Was that so hard?

Thumbs: Hey, where's my hug? I want a hug.

Dark Koopa: Nah. You need to take a bath.

Thumbs: Come on.

Tutankoopa: Someone interview me now.

Pink: Shhh. The adults are talking over here.

Tutankoopa: I'm at least 30 years older than all of you.

Pink: Poor deluded child.

Dark Koopa: Look. Go get clean and you'll get your hug.

Thumbs: Okay then.

(Thumbs leaves.)

Pink: Why'd you agree to that?

Dark Koopa: I never said I would hug him.

Pink: Quat?

Dark Koopa: You heard me. Okay. First question: Why do you live in Dry Dry Ruins?

Tutankoopa: Because my minions treat me like royalty in that place.

Dark Koopa: And what kind of minions would those be?

Tutankoopa: Buzzy Beetles, Swoopers, Pokey Mummies, and Chomps.

Dark Koopa: Basically dead beats and dead things. How did you get inside the ruins without uncovering them?

Tutankoopa: Some Monty Moles dug a path there from Mt. Rugged.

Bob Dole: Bob Dole's a friend of Tutankoopa. Bob Dole likes your style. Bob Dole!

Dark Koopa: Why does this guy always speak in the third person?

Pink: Pink dosen't know.

Dark Koopa: Would you do the honors?

Pink: Sure.

(Pink throws Bob Dole out of the studio.)

George H.W. Bush: It's not prudent. I just won't do it.

Dark Koopa: Are we at the Republican National Convention or something?

Pink: Yes, we are.

Dark Koopa: Oh. Interesting. What are your stats?

Tutankoopa: 30 HP, 3 ATK, 0 DEF.

Republican: Hey! No animals allowed!

Dark Koopa: You can't kick us out. We're, um, an endangered species!

George H.W.: I can't kick out an endangered species. It's not prudent. I just won't do it.

Dark Koopa: Get a bigger vocabulary.

Republican: Go tell that to your girlfriend. I saw you hugging her.

Pink: What makes you think I'd ever go out with him? Never. No way.

Dark Koopa: Yeah! Wait. What's wrong with me?

Pink: A lot of things.

Dark Koopa: ... Anyway, where did those Stone Chomps come from?

Tutankoopa: I put a spell on the pictures so they would come to life when Mario touched my relics.

Dark Koopa: Where'd you acquire your magic abilities?

Tutankoopa: I was Kamek's star pupil in his magic class.

Dark Koopa: How did your alliance with Chomp begin?

Tutankoopa: Chomp agreed to be my slave if I freed him from that block.

Annoying Congressman: Vote for me!

Dark Koopa: Not again.

Republican: Maybe you and your girlfriend should leave.

Dark Koopa: That's it!

(Dark Koopa beats the Republican to a bloody pulp.)

Officer Jenkins: *gasp* Assualt! Get them!

Dark Koopa: Look! A Democrat!

(The Republicans scream and run off.)

Pink: This Interview was very odd.

Dark Koopa: I know. End transmission.

Democracy: Where did everyone go?