PlayStop

KYLE interviews BULLET BILL
 
By Dark Koopa

Dark Koopa: Hello and welc-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: A bit early, Lemmy.

Lemmy: Whoops.

Dark Koopa: I've decided I want to be an audience member today, so I have a replacement, but don't worry: I'll still have my stupid comments.

Kyle: Hello everyone. Today, I interview Bullet Bill. Thanks to Ludwig, this is possible, for he has built two teleporters so Bullet Bill will go in those instead of crashing into the wall.

Bullet Bill: I'm here.

Kyle: Okay. First question: Why can't you ever stop moving?

Bullet Bill: That's all we're programmed to do. We just go in a straight line. It's not like we had brakes installed.

Silence...

Dark Koopa: What? You expected a stupid comment? Not yet.

Kyle: Why do Bombshell Bills have more attack and HP than regular Bullet Bills?

Bullet Bill: That's easy. Because Bombshell Bills are made of gold, which is a stronger material than what we are made out of.

Kyle: What are you made out of?

Bullet Bill: Aluminum.

Dark Koopa: Aluminum? Lame.

Kyle: Who controls your Bill Blasters?

Bullet Bill: Almost anyone can control a Bill Blaster, but Bombshell Bill Blasters are a special case. Only Bowser's elite guards such as Magikoopas or Koopatrols can control them.

Kyle: Any advantages to being shot out of a Bill Blaster?

Bullet Bill: We can't be harmed as long as we're inside of one. Also, if a Bill Blaster gets powered up, so do we.

(Mario does the Macarina.)

Dark Koopa: That's amusing.

Kyle: Can you explain where a Banzai Bill comes from?

Bullet Bill: They come from Super Bill Blasters. They are very rare, so they were well hidden. That's why Mario has never seen one.

Mario: The super secret shoe store?

Bullet Bill: No.

Kyle: Why do Banzai Bills move so slowly?

Bullet Bill: Because they're so big!

Kyle: I was expecting a more scientific answer but whatever. Where are Bullet Bills made?

Bullet Bill: In Iggy's room.

Iggy: Woohoo! Finally, some credit!

Bullet Bill: I never said you make us. Ludwig makes us in Iggy's room because he has no room in his.

Iggy: It's a lie!

Kyle: How do some Bullet Bills home in on Mario?

Bullet Bill: Those are ones that have been given heat-seeking capabilities. They are usually the color purple.

Kyle: What is the average lifespan of a Bullet Bill after it is shot out of it's Bill Blaster?

Bullet Bill: With us hitting the wall and Mario jumping on us, I'd say about 8 seconds.

Kyle: Interesting.

Bullet Bill: In fact, I think I'm the longest living Bullet Bill ever! Yippee!

Kyle: Okay. Time for audience questions. Seat 9.

Dark Koopa: I better get to say 'end transmission'.

Kyle: Whatever. Seat 14.

Pink Yoshi: Do you like Yoshis?

Bullet Bill: Of course not! I hate Yoshis. They're stupid.

(Pink's eyes turn that icy color again.)

Dark Koopa: Where have I seen this before?

Pink Yoshi: Do you like Yoshis?

Junior: Of course not! I hate Yoshis. They're stupid.

(Pink's eyes turn that icy color again.)

Dark Koopa: Oh yeah.

(Pink jumps on the Bullet Bill, causing it to explode.)

Kyle: That's all we have for today. See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Siro: End Transmission.

Dark Koopa: You again?!

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