DARK KOOPA AND FAWFUL KOOPA interview ANGRY SUN
 
By Dark Koopa and Fawful Koopa

(The camera pans over to the sky. We see the landscape of Desert Land escaping our sight.)

Fawful koopa: Look, I'm trying to lure a sun here, so shaddup. I don't even know why you're following me with that camera.

(Look, Lemmy told me to get out here and do my job, and apparently some celebrity is going to show up. Anyway, back to narrating. Apparently there is also a fishing pole with a Podoboo as bait attached to it being waved, obscuring the camera's view.)

Podoboo: I would appreciate it if you put me down.

(The sun in the sky starts getting closer. As soon as it is right in front of the Podoboo, the sun eats it. Fawful immediately throws a net over it.)

Fawful Koopa: Yes! Gotcha! Now I can solve all the world's energy problems, and get rich too!

(The Angry Sun escapes the net.)

Dark Koopa: Greetings, good sir. I believe I can help you capture this enraged sun.

Fawful: Wait, you don't want anything in return? And more importantly, how did you get here?

Dark Koopa: The power of imagination. And don't worry, I'm used to not being paid.

Fawful: Well, this is a compilation of different syllables with appropriate spacings that allow it to be "read" and more importantly "comprehended". So I guess the nonsensicality of that previous sentence should be let to slide by. I will take you up on your offer but first, may I ask you, how do we catch it?

Dark Koopa: With a bigger net. Duh.

(Fawful goes on an amazing sidequest to get a bigger net.)

Fawful koopa: (gasping for air) Got it. Who knew that lv. 50 Ice Mages don't like to part with their nets? Oh well, now let's catch this thing!

(Fawful throws the net, which immediately bursts into flames upon contact.)

Fawful koopa: Oh noes! The net is on Fiyah!

(Fawful douses it with a bucket of water. The sun falls to the ground, knocked out.)

Pokey: Great, you killed it.

Fawful: Do I know you?

Pokey: No.

Dark Koopa: So, are you that M&L villain that yells stupid stuff like mustard?

Angry Sun: I'm in pain, and I'm angry!

Dark Koopa: Magical.

Fawful koopa: Nah, it's just a nickname, which I obtained from having a small speech impediment when I was young. Anyway, Mr. Sun, it's glad to see that you're alive. Now what makes you burn? I'm trying to solve the world's energy crisis for MONEY, and I'd like to know that. (to self) Well, if I can't catch him, I can at least grill him with questions until he teaches me how to produce infinite fire.

Angry Sun: I am angry! The cause of this searing hotness is from the rage I obtain from lack of respect.

Fawful koopa: Huh?

Angry Sun: When any species gets too angry, their emotional level might end up overloading the value allowed on the server, shutting down the system. In order to prevent this from happening, Nintendo executives created a new species, the Angry Sun. The Angry Sun is not allowed any emotions other than rage, allowing it to have much higher emotions than any other being. However, once an Angry Sun starts to feel any positive emotion, it is forced to revert back to its original form.

Fawful koopa: Say, how did you become an Angry Sun?

Angry Sun: Well, Angry Suns are quite rare to come across, but are also quite formidable fighters. In order to produce amazing soldiers, Bowser takes some of his weaker baddies and puts them through a series of tasks that make them very angry. Sadly, this costs a lot of time and money. Yeah, that is how I became a sun. Now I refuse to answer any more questions unless you feed me another Podoboo.

Dark Koopa: No.

Angry Sun: That makes me angry!

Dark Koopa: Of course it does. How are you taken out by Koopa shells?

Angry Sun: They merely stun, but the game shows me falling off the screen because that's what they do with every enemy. I come back after like twenty seconds. Now, where's my-

(Fawful sets part of the Pokey on fire and shoves it into the sun's mouth.)

Angry Sun: That did not taste like a Podoboo. That makes me angry!

Fawful koopa: Kool. Now, how do you shoot fireballs? Fire can't exist without something to burn on, and those fireballs are pure energy floating in the air.

Angry Sun: Actually, I can't shoot fireballs. In fact, only a few can spit fireballs

Fawful koopa: And who are those few?

Angry Sun: The ones that used to be Spikes.

Fawful koopa: So, in other words, the fireballs are just spike balls on fire?

Angry Sun: Yes. So about that Podobo-

Dark Koopa: So why do you only appear in two levels?

Angry Sun: ...

Dark Koopa: What?

Angry Sun: Podo-

Dark Koopa: Answer the question.

Angry Sun: Because we're a very rare species. I said that. Now-

(Fawful shoves another flaming Pokey part into the sun's mouth.)

Fawful koopa: There. HAPPY?

Angry Sun: No. Those taste-

(Pokey shove.)

Angry Sun: Mmph!

Fawful koopa: Cool. Now how can you fly? (to self) This could be a very profitable secret.

Angry Sun: Well, heat rises, and I'm a living embodiment of heat, so I rise. Luckily, I can't rise too far, as my weight balances out with my rising capabilities near the top of the screen, so that's how I get there.

Dark Koopa: I don't want to hear that sciency-stuff! Next you'll talk about Pokemon evolving!

Angry Sun: -

Dark Koopa: Enough! Why haven't you appeared in other games besides Super Mario Brothers 3 and Mario Kart DS?

Angry Sun: I said we're rare, and we only appear in areas like Desert Land and Dark Land.

Dark Koopa: I think you're just a coward.

Angry Sun: Hey! That makes me angry-

Dark Koopa: Informative! Do we have an audience today? Do you expect they would have followed us TO THE DESERT?

Fawful koopa: Well the narrator did, but he has no life... Ah well, let's hope an audience gets here through the same method you employed.

(I resent that! Anyways Fawful the big stinky doodoo-head turns around to see an audience behind him.)

Fawful koopa: Narrators stink.

Iggy: How am I here?

(The authors wrote you in. Now ask a question.)

Iggy: Do you have a weakness to anything?

Angry Sun: It makes me angry to think that you didn't see me writhing in pain after getting doused by water.

Sushie: Like this?

(Sushie blasts Angry Sun with water.)

Angry Sun: HOW THE @#$% DID YOU GET HERE?!

(Apparently you aren't getting the whole "author wrote you in" thing.)

Dark Koopa: I'd say the ceiling is talking, but we're outside. Hm. I guess I'll have to chalk it up to Bill Nye.

Audience: BILL BILL BILL BILL-

Angry Sun: Angry!

Swooper: Hey, I'm an audience member!

Dark Koopa: You sure are.

Swooper: What would happen if I hugged you?

Angry Sun: You'll probably CATCH ON FIRE, and it'll also make me ANGRY!

Dark Koopa: Do you happen to know any mad scientists?

Angry Scientist: ANGRY! ANGRY!

Dark Koopa: Okay, man. No need to get so upse-

Angry Scientist: ANGRY!

Angry Sun: Angry! Also, no.

Dark Koopa: Shame.

(Swooper hugs the Angry Sun and explodes.)

Dark Koopa: Hooray!

Fawful koopa: Say, Angry, how do Pokemon evolve?

Angry Sun: It makes me ANGRY to hear you ask that.

Fawful koopa: Curses.

Angry Sun: Say, about that Podoboo-

Pokey: All right, WHAT is with your obsession with eating Podoboos? I am not going to get eaten again just because you have your little addic-

Angry Sun: No need to get angry-

Pokey: Hypocrite.

Angry Sun: That blatant insult makes me angry!

Pokey: Cool. NOW WHY DO YOU EAT PODOBOOS?!

Angry Sun: They are merely smaller Angry Suns. Consuming them merges our bodies and spirits, making us better creatures in whole.

Pokey: So what's the difference between Podoboos and Angry Suns?

Angry Sun: Podoboos are Goombas or small creatures like that on fire. Angry Suns are bigger things like Spikes or Clubbas.

Pokey: Fatty.

Dark Koopa: I dunno if I want to accept that answer. It kind of conflicts with my Podoboo Interview.

Lemmy: I saw that!

Dark Koopa: See? I think it can easily be explained that Angry Sun doesn't know about Podoboos, and is in fact, old and senile.

Angry Sun: RAGE.

Dark Koopa: Do you remember those times you were enraged? Nostalgically?

Angry Sun: All the time!

Dark Koopa: What about you, Mister Fawful?

Fawful koopa: Um... No. But, I do know that the sun is 2.5 to 3.8 billion years old. That could explain the senile part

Lemmy: So, in other words, I just funded this show for nothing?

Fawful koopa: No you didn't. I'm pretty sure you don't pay either of us, meaning you didn't fund it.

Angry Sun: I have feelings, you know! I'm not the real sun!

(Angry Sun suddenly falls out of the sky, reverted back to a Clubba.)

Lemmy: Well, now I know at least one of the answers was true.

Angry Clubba: Your disregard for my feelings makes me ANGRY!

(The Angry Whatever sets on fire and floats back up into the sky. He then brutally mauls Lemmy.)

Dark Koopa: Wait, what? The Angry Sun is a shape-shifter?

Angry Clubba: No. One of those authors did it!

Dark Koopa: Oh, okay. Continue.

(The Angry Clubba continues mauling Lemmy.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's- ow! Intervie- ow! Show- owowow!

Fawful koopa: Is this a good place to end? We've grilled Angry Sun with questions and hurt Lemmy, so I think that's good.

Dark Koopa: Sure, why not? As long as it's not me getting hurt. So, what do I get for this Interview thing?

Fawful koopa: You said you're used to not being paid, so nothing. That is, until I get rich from selling Angry Sun energy.

(A Mushroomer rushes up to him with a newspaper.)

Mushroomer: Look! Apparently someone by the name of Angry Clubba is marketing and selling fire energy. He's already a millionaire!

Fawful koopa: Well that was a waste of time.

Meanwhile, in the Angry Clubba's stomach...

Pokey: Hello? Anyone there? It's getting lonely…

Dark Koopa: I don't like this ending.

(The planet explodes.)

Dark Koopa: I like that one even less.

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