YTtF: Apparently this is the place.
(We see that he's looking at a house that looks big and creepy.)
YTtF: I was supposed to meet some guy here, so I'll come in.
Dark Koopa: I'm not sure what you're implying. I don't live there. I don't live anywhere.
YTtF: Then why are you here at all? Wait... OMD IT'S DARK KOOPA!!!
Dark Koopa: This again. Look, if I was famous, I'd be rich, and do I look rich to you?!
YTtF: There are things more important than money. Such as... MONEY!
Dark Koopa: Well, you're unhelpful. What do you want before I call the police?
YTtF: Well... Interview. Now.
(He teleports Dark and himself to a big-shot studio.)
Dark Koopa: Teleporting? Why teleporting? Is this some sort of special effect, or are you like every other magic-user who can godmod and stuff like Pura? ... Who totally isn't a creation of mine. Nope.
YTtF: I'm too lazy to walk. And yes, I'm MAAAAAGICAAAAALLL. FEAR IT!
Dark Koopa: Refuse.
YTtF: Whatevar. Now we interview!
Dark Koopa: Refuse.
YTtF: ... You’re getting annoying.
(YTtF summons a randomly generated Phantom Ember, and chains Dark to the object of making an Interview via magic... Wait, what?)
Dark Koopa: Not sure what the narrator said, but this is a mild annoyance at best. I can still refuse to ask questions.
Phantom Ember: Hi.
Dark Koopa: No.
YTtF: Yes.
(He now makes Dark be electrified if he refuses.)
Dark Koopa: Refuse.
(ZAP.)
Dark Koopa: I've been through worse.
(Triple ZAP. Dark Koopa yawns.)
Phantom Ember: So am I being interviewed or what?
Dark Koopa: No.
YTtF: ... You've pushed me to the extreme. Now I'll pay you!
Dark Koopa: I think you're lyin'.
YTtF: Oh, I will!
(YTtF crosses his fingers behind his back.)
Dark Koopa: Fine. Phantom Ember, why are you inferior to me?
Phantom Ember: ...
Dark Koopa: No.
Phantom Ember: Ask something logical, will ya?
Dark Koopa: No. I'm not the only interviewer here. I see no reason for me to do most of the work. Or any of the work, for that matter. Pay me in advance.
YTtF: No. Why are ja green?
Phantom Ember: Green is the color for spiritual things, usually. And it's EVIL!
Dark Koopa: ... Green isn't evil. Black, purple, and maybe a dark blue is evil. Green is the color of Luigi and Yoshi, who are far from evil.
Phantom Ember: I can tell we're not gonna get along.
Dark Koopa: I don't get along with any of my interviewees, do I? Maybe Gloomtail? He hasn't "destroyed" me yet.
Mr. L: I see those quotation marks.
Dark Koopa: Good for you.
YTtF: Now ask a logical question.
Dark Koopa: How many times do I gotta say no before you leave?
YTtF: ... Fine.
(YTtF gives a bunch of fake coins to Dark.)
Dark Koopa: These are chocolate.
Phantom Ember: Hi.
Dark Koopa: No.
YTtF: ... Interview, will ya? Your contract doesn't state in what you will be paid. I paid you already, so get a move on, buster!
Dark Koopa: Since you obviously won't take the hint that this is an attempt at some sort of plot change, fine. Phantom Ember, why do you hang around Palace of Shadows?
Phantom Ember: We were created by the Shadow Queen. Yes, she can make flames a color besides purple.
YTtF: What's the difference between you and regular Embers?
Phantom Ember: We are more experienced and powerful, and creepier.
YTtF: ... Except that you're NOT SCARY!
Dark Koopa: I dunno. They're flames... with EYES. How is that not creepy?
YTtF: I said SCARY, not creepy.
Dark Koopa: Creepy, scary... They're both fine choices. What's it like being DEAD?
Phantom Ember: I'm not dead.
Dark Koopa: You're an undead flame. Don't gimme that. Fine. What's it like being ALIVE?
Phantom Ember: It's lame. I can't eat or drink, and I set people on fire when I want a hug!
Dark Koopa: Don't hug me.
Swooper: Hug?
Dark Koopa: Hug him!
Phantom Ember: YAH!
(Swooper is Toast.)
Swapper: My name isn't Toast... Or Swapper.
Dark Koopa: About time he died in an Interview. Shame he'll be back in the next one.
Swooper: I'm back now.
Dark Koopa: Darn it.
YTtF: Why are you in the Palace of Shadow in the first place?
Phantom Ember: I just told you... The Shadow Queen created me, and I didn't like the idea of roaming far.
YTtF: You didn't say that.
Phantom Ember: I said something like that. Shut up.
Dark Koopa: Do you work for Gloomtail or the Shadow Sirens?
Phantom Ember: Gloomtail, yes... though not willingly. He keeps saying he needs guards, so I guard him. Shadow Sirens, I've never really seen.
Beldam: How dare you?!
(Beldam tries to freeze PE, but the ice melts.)
Beldam: ... Drat.
Phantom Ember: I still don't know you!
Dark Koopa: So... What's special about you? Really.
Phantom Ember: I'm GREEN 'N GHOSTLY DAWG.
Dark Koopa: I wanna kill it.
YTtF: Likewise.
Dark Koopa: So kill it, Mr. I'm All Magical Ooooooh.
YTtF: I would, but we're not done with this one yet. The Interview must go on!
Dark Koopa: Stop making me work.
YTtF: Fine, audience time! Seat SWOOP.
Swooper: Why do you have yellow eyes?
Phantom Ember: ... Can I hug him again?
YTtF: Answer the question first.
Phantom Ember: Our years of experience has withered our colors, so our eyes are yellow.
Dark Koopa: You're naming seats after THINGS? What is wrong with you? They go by numbers or letters like this: B4!
X-Naut: You sunk my battleship!
Dark Koopa: Indeed I did.
X-Naut: ... Is that it? Is that all you have to say?! Huh?! HUH?!
Dark Koopa: Yes. Now go away. You're lucky to have one line, let alone two, random NPC.
X-Naut: ... Why... aRe yOU... sTROngeR...?
Phantom Ember: Weirdo. Our green flames are the strongest type.
Dark Koopa: Well, for someone called PHANTOM Ember, you're not very ghostly.
Phantom Ember: Just because the first person to see us called us phantoms, it doesn't mean we are.
Dark Koopa: Well, you smell like fire, and I don't like that smell, so someone should destroy you. Yes, you, magic guy.
YTtF: As much as I'd like to continue, I'm getting bored. So yeah. PLOTHOLE TWIST!
(A plothole appears.)
YTtF: With my last words, I say: END TRANSMISSION!
(The plothole sucks everything in, including people not even involved in the Interview.)
Everyone: YAAAAAAAAGGHHHHH!
Dark Koopa: I'm not saying that, so that last line is inaccurate. Plotholes aren't even dangerous anyway. They just bring you somewhere else. Well, maybe the landing could hurt and potentially be dangerous.
Phantom Ember: Must you always have the last word?
Dark Koopa: Yes.
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