A thank you goes to Lakitu 2000 for giving me the idea for this Interview.

Wario: ... and when I was three, a brick fell on my head. Then I got kicked out a window and I flew into a-

Lemmy (entering): Wario! What are you doing in my chair?

Wario: Um... I can't remember that so... hehheh hehheh heh!

Lemmy: Goodbye Wario.

Wario: Uh...

Lemmy: BYE!

(Wario gets blasted out of the chair. Lemmy smoothes the cushion down and takes a seat.)

Lemmy: Is it really Interview time already? Ok then! Will my guest please come out?

(Mime flies onstage and takes a very zigzaggy route to his seat.)

Lemmy: Hi Mime! How- hey, my cellphone is going off! Let's see who it is... hello?

Koopa Troopa: Hi Lemmy. Long time viewer, first time caller!

Lemmy: Um, ok! Where are you calling from, and what are you calling about?

Koopa Troopa: I'm in seat 3572! I always wanted to call you so I could say I was a first time caller.

Lemmy: Cool!

Koopa Troopa: Ok, so my question is, where is Mario? You said you would interview him next.

Lemmy: That's right, I did! But he was all booked up thanks to those lousy fan clubs. (grumbles) By the time I found out he couldn't make it I didn't have time to invite anyone else, so I invited my pet on.

Koopa Troopa: Ok, thanks! I have to go because this long-distance call is eating up my life savings.

Lemmy: Bye! Ok, so Mime- hey! You, in seat 82, with your hand up! Put your hand down! I'm only accepting phonecalls now. Mime, what have you- eh? Oh, my phone! Where are you calling from and what do you want?

Karma: I'm calling from seat 82, you idiot! And I demand that you tell everyone who Mime is.

Lemmy: Well, I was just going to ask him that! (hangs up) So Mime, tell us about yourself.

Mime: Wow, do I actually get to speak?

Lemmy: Yup- hello?

Luigi: This is-a Luigi from seat-a 10,968. What about-a Luigi?

Lemmy: Sorry, prank call. Mime?

Mime: I'm a Harlequin Paratroopa, which means that I'm good at doing all sorts of tricks, like Lemmy can. I am supposed to be part of the creative section of the army... you know, the section that does the really stupid stuff, but I lost my parents before I hatched and Lemmy adopted me. That happened about a year ago. Since then I've- Lemmy?

Lemmy: Yeah, I want an extra-large ice cream with everything on it. ... Yeah, everything! ... What part of everything don't you get? ... Hello?! Is a piccolo something? I said everything! Ah forget it.

(Lemmy hangs up and looks around.)

Lemmy: Uh... sorry. But I already know about you!

Mime: Um... ok, since then I've been helping Lemmy behind the scenes in Lemmy's Land. He never gives me any credit, but he does let me exercise a lot of power for a Troopa. Anyway, he's really a lot of fun.

Lemmy: Thank you Mime! Questions? Ah! Hello?

Axem Red: (in disguised voice) Hi, I'm calling from seat (it's muffled), and my question for Mime is, what's the password for Lemmy's Land's account?

Lemmy: ... Mime! Answer the question!

Mime: But I can't hear him through your phone.

Lemmy: Cheap! Alright, let's switch to the speaker phone. Mime, the caller asked what Lemmy's Land's password is.

Mime: Oh, ok. The password is lemmyiscool.

Lemmy: It is?

Mime: Maybe.

Lemmy: Ok! Next caller!

Yoshi: Yoshi in seat 57 want know if Mime taste good.

Mime: No. Last time I ate myself it was really disgusting.

Lemmy: Next?

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!

Lemmy: GAH! My ears! Oh they hurt! I think I have to go now. But before I do, Mime, one more question for ya. What do you think I should do to defeat Mario?

Mime: I would tickle him until his pants fall down and he explodes. But the tickler might die, so send someone you don't like.

Lemmy: I don't like Morton much right now... I think he broke my phone! Well, I'll see you all next time! Mario will be next, I hope.