“I-a need a car!” Mario suddenly decided.

“What-a for?” asked Luigi.

“To impress-a the Princess,” replied Mario in an offhanded manner.

So Mario took the Mushroom Bus to the nearest used car lot (because he didn't have much money). (Actually he hardly had any.) Of course, the salesman on duty was none other than Morton Koopa Jr.

“Welcome, howdy, greetings, salutations!” yelled Morton. “I see you are looking for a fine automobile. I know just what you need! Yes, come right this way!”

“Well, actually-” started Mario.

“Nonsense!” snapped Morton. “Ah! Here we are! Isn't it great, terrific, number one, best in it's class, superior, the ace, Dbomb! It's red, it's got four wheel drive, it's got a radio, it can seat four, and it even has a removable roof!” And I'll give it to you for a measely 500 coins. Sold!”

“But I-a don't see a car,” Mario stammered.

“What?!” exclaimed Morton. “It's sitting right here, visible to everybody without obstructions or difficulties. Why, anybody could admire it- unless they're blind or stupid! You're not stupid, are you?”

“Of course-a not!” decided Mario.

“Then you'll buy it, take it, purchase it, and I can wrap it up?” pressed Morton.

“Yes!” yelled Mario.

“Great, splendid, supurb, terrific, fabulous, this makes my day!” smiled Morton. He snatched Mario's sack of coins (which happened to be all the money he had in the world) and started to leave.

“Wait!” called Mario. “Don't I-a need the keys?”

“Don't be silly!” laughed Morton. “Keys are only for the old, ancient, despised Earth cars. Just hop in and make engine sounds. Have fun!”

Mario shrugged and stood where he thought the driver's seat was. Morton watched from a distance as Mario opened and closed the car door, fastened his seat belt, adjusted his mirrors (so he could see his face), and started vrooming. Then he ran out of the lot.

Ludwig stepped out from behind another car. “That proceeded perfectly in accordance to the plan!” he laughed.

Morton nodded his agreement. “Your invention which told me how much money he had was perfect, great, number one, the best! And so was the gas you used to make him confused.”

“I didn't employ the gas,” said Ludwig.

Morton thought about that for a minute, and then he and Ludwig burst out laughing.

Meanwhile, Mario was vrooming down a highway, often receiving weird glances and obscene gestures from drivers who passed him. Mario thought they were admiring his shiny new car. Suddenly, he heard a police siren behind him. He looked back and saw a policeman beckoning him to pull over.

Mario pulled to the side of the road and stopped the engine (the vrooming). He waited for the policeman to reach him, and was not afraid because he knew that all the Mushroom citizens were on his side. But the policeman was not a Mushroom citizen. It was Larry Koopa!

“Do you have any idea how fast you were going!” Larry snapped.

“Gee officer,” stammered Mario. “I-a couldn't have been-a going any faster than 30.”

“30 my tail!” stomped Larry. “You were going at least 100, and now you get a big ‘ol ticket!”

Mario moaned as Larry began to write the ticket.

Just then, Lemmy Koopa sped by on his ball. “Hey!” shouted Mario. “That guy is-a going much faster than I was!”

“Diplomatic immunity,” explained Larry. Lemmy pulled over, then rolled off the road to Mario, and kicked his car, causing a huge dent. “My card,” he said to Mario, showing his diplomat card. Then he rolled off.

Larry handed Mario the ticket, and then Mario started vrooming again. He went all the way to the castle, but when he got out of his car, he was confronted by Roy and a gun.

“Give me your car or die!” demanded Roy.

“Can I-a choose to die?” asked Mario.

“No,” said Roy. He jumped in Mario's car and drove away. He also dropped his gun.

“Now how will I-a get a date?” wailed Mario.

“I'll go on a date with you,” offered Wendy, coming out of who-knows-where.

Mario took the gun and shot himself.

“Success!” grinned Wendy. “We got Mario's money, killed Mario, and got a good Scribble out of the deal! That's a wrap!”