Waluigi: Welcome to the Interview, losers! Get ready to add some excitement to your life with Waluigi!
Lemmy: Stop calling everyone losers, nobody’s going to watch if you keep calling them that.
Waluigi: The truth hurts, Lemmy! I just call them like I call them!
Lemmy: That made no sense.
Waluigi: You don't have to when you're this great!
E. Gadd: Ahh!
(E. Gadd rushes out of the studio.)
Waluigi: Who was that, and why did that just randomly happen?
Mario: E. Gadd is never used in Interviews.
Waluigi: So? It doesn't mean he can make a stupid appearance on my time! This frustrates Waluigi, or something like that, I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Lemmy: Are you guys done trying to stall the beginning of the Interview?
Waluigi: Yeah.
Mario: Yeah.
Wario: I'm not!
Mario: Go steal some wallets, because you're greedy... and that's why you would steal wallets. You love money.
Wario: Thanks for mentioning that, but fine, I'll steal wallets for the rest of the Interview.
Waluigi: No? Nobody going to do anything after Wario just admitted out loud that he is going to steal your wallets? Fine, whatever! You just want to watch me that bad, don't you?
Lemmy: Are you done?
Waluigi: Wah, fine. Just tell me who I'm interviewing.
Lemmy: You're interviewing someone so nice, they named her twice... Well... She isn't nice. But they did name her twice.
Pom Pom: Finally, someone had the smarts to interview someone as beautiful as me!
Waluigi: Ah, get over yourself.
Pom Pom: What?!
Waluigi: Wait, you're that Koopa from Super Mario 3D Land!
Pom Pom: The one and only!
Waluigi: So... Do you have any relation to Boom Boom?
Pom Pom: Boom Boom's my boyfriend! Isn't he so sweet and handsome... and smart-
Wario: Woah now, let’s not say stuff we can't take back.
Pom Pom: My Boom Boom is so smart!
Waluigi: How? He does the same thing in Super Mario 3D Land every battle.
Pom Pom: He is smart! He put spikes in the floor to stop Mario once!
Waluigi: That wasn't smart, that was stupid. Speaking of stupid, how come you do the same thing against Mario every time as well?
Pom Pom: I make sure to go against him in different surroundings, like adding fire and the like.
Waluigi: That isn't changing your strategy, you're just in a different surrounding.
Pom Pom: Hmph, you wouldn't understand!
Waluigi: Wah, never mind, let’s just get to a different question. How did you learn to wield boomerangs?
Pom Pom: Well, I happened to learn it from some of the Boomerang Bros, though I'm way better then them at it.
Waluigi: Well, it's about time we go check on Wario's wallet stealing.
Wario: I didn't steal any.
Waluigi: Why?
Wario: Why would I admit to stealing wallets out loud?
Waluigi: I thought we already established that nobody really cared about their wallets.
Shy Guy: Oh no, my wallet! If only I had listened to something about wallet stealing near the beginning of this Interview!
Waluigi: Okay then, people care about their wallets, but weren't listening.
Bob-omb: I listened, I just didn't care if my wallet got stolen.
Waluigi: Wah, you sure are a tough crowd to please.
Pom Pom: Can we get back to interviewing me?
Waluigi: Wow, how many times have I heard an interviewee say that? Anyway, how come we haven't seen you in any Mario games until now?
Pom Pom: Boom Boom is always afraid that I'll get hurt, so he doesn't let me. But after Boom Boom unfairly lost to Mario, Bowser wanted me to go against him.
Waluigi: We can all see that didn't pan out too well.
Mario: Haha, you said "pan".
Waluigi: Yeah, because it fit in the context, loser!
Lemmy: What did I say about calling people losers?
Waluigi: Wah, you’re also a loser for sticking up for losers!
Lemmy: Just ask a question.
Waluigi: Don't tell me what to do... Anyway, do you have any other moves then just throwing boomerangs?
Pom Pom: I can throw three boomerangs!
Waluigi: Oh, well that's totally different than throwing just two.
Pom Pom: I know, right?
Waluigi: Ugh, no wonder you're so easy to beat.
Pom Pom: What?! Who said that about me?!
Waluigi: Everyone that’s played Super Mario 3D Land. Except for that one guy who’s played it but finds you hard... You know who you are.
Pom Pom: How dare you?! I'm no pushover!
Waluigi: Actually, the site bio says you are a pushover.
Pom Pom: Hmph! I do you all a favor by letting you interview me, but you're all just being rude!
Waluigi: I call them like I call them.
Lemmy: Stop saying that.
Waluigi: How come it takes three stomps from Mario to beat you?
Lemmy: Hey. I was talking to you.
Pom Pom: Have you ever been stomped by Mario? It’s as if you're being hit on the head by metal!
Mario: Hahaha... Yeah... metal...
Lemmy: Uh, hey, you can respond to what I said anytime I guess then.
Waluigi: I also just want to point out that you and Boom Boom together can't beat Mario.
Lemmy: No, it's fine. Ignore me.
Pom Pom: Don't make me throw my boomerangs at you!
Waluigi: I don't think so, Mario will help me out!
Mario: No, I won't.
Waluigi: Oh... I'm going to audience questions because I can, not because I feel threatened. Seat KINGKOOPA. Wait, since when do seats have names? How is that even possible? And how did the name end up fitting Bowser?
Bowser: Be quiet, toothpick! I've heard enough of your wannabe interviewing! Let the people hear an expert question!
Waluigi: You wouldn't know an expert question if it got asked to you!
Bowser: I fail to see how that works, but anyway, how come your boomerangs have bows?
Waluigi: That's your expert question?
Bowser: What? I'm interested to know why!
Pom Pom: Bows are pretty! Plus I have bows so I know they’re mine!
Waluigi: What a lame question, and answer!
(One of Pom Pom's boomerangs hits Waluigi.)
Waluigi: Ow! Fine, it wasn't so bad!
Pom Pom: That's what I thought!
Waluigi: Grr... Seat 23. Oh no, we’re back to numbers again. I love this seat arrangement.
Bowser: Gwhahaha! I got another question!
Waluigi: You already asked a question!
Bowser: Can't you see I bought out this whole row of seats?
Waluigi: Well now that you mention it, I was wondering this entire Interview...
Bowser: So since I own all this row, I get to ask another question!
Waluigi: Ask another lame question!
Bowser: I will! Do you plan on helping the Koopa Troop again?
Pom Pom: I'll have to see! Boom Boom is still upset over what Mario's done to me, and doesn't want me to get hurt again. Isn't he so caring?
Bowser: Uh, yeah, sure. Whatever.
Waluigi: Seat ILOVEMONEY. Oh, another seat name.
Wario: Whahaha!
Waluigi: AND it fits Wario! This is stupid!
Wario: Are you related to Wendy in any way?
Pom Pom: No, what would make you think that?
Wario: I don't know, that's the only closet resemblance you have to anyone.
Waluigi: This is the last time I have audience questions! You guys stink at coming up with them! Not to mention we have a serious seat disorder here!
Lemmy: Blame the companies that gave us these chairs.
Waluigi: Wah, that still doesn't explain how Wario and Bowser's seat names matched them. Whatever, seat 67.
Koopa: How do you hover in the air in your shell like you do?
Pom Pom: I have a pretty light shell on that allows me to hover in the air for a bit. It makes a big impact when I hit the floor though.
Waluigi: Let’s just get to the last question, seat MARIO. Hey, Mario's in that seat! This seat business is stupid!
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Pom Pom: You never actually beat me, you just cheated with that stupid Tanooki Suit!
Mario: Hey, I didn't put it in the game.
Waluigi: Haven't heard that question from you in awhile, Mario.
Mario: Eh.
Waluigi: Now if you’ll excuse me, with the help of today's social media, I'm going to address a comment to this stupid seat company!
Lemmy: Have fun with that.
Waluigi: Oh I won't! It's a pain to make a complaint to companies, but they must know how bad they are!
Lemmy: Ugh, End Transmission.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |