Conrad: Welcome to-
Curse Guy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Conrad: I'm here to teach Cursey here how to interview.
Curse Guy: I never want to hear that nickname again. $@&€]€{¥#*^
Conrad: Sorry. Our guest today is Petey Pirhana!
Petey: GLABARRAGH!
Conrad: Um, what do we do about that?
Curse Guy: I've got it... Shakalaboom!
Petey: Why can I suddenly speak perfect English?
Curse Guy: It will wear off.
Conrad: Now let's get started. Just what are you? One of Larry's plants? One of Jr's paint monsters?
Petey: Technically both. Jr. painted a magical seed, and Larry grew it. I attribute my existence more to Larry though.
Curse Guy: Why is that?
Petey: Jr. didn't actually care about me after he painted the seed. He just abused me for SMS.
Conrad: So, are you the Piranha Plant king or something?
Petey: Yup.
Curse Guy: Then what are Peewee and Dino Piranha?
Petey: Peewee is the prince and Dino is unaffiliated with the Koopa Troop. He was just a violent native.
Conrad: Why were you in the past when the Shroobs invaded?
Petey: Jr. made more than one seed. The second one fell into Ludwig's time machine and the Shroobs grew it. This is also why that Petey had a completely different set of attacks than me.
Curse Guy: So why were you so weak in your original appearance? You could barely hurt Mario back then.
Petey: Why did you have to ask that?
Conrad: Because he can.
Petey: You shut up! NOM NOM!
(Petey eats Conrad.)
Curse Guy: $@<#+%==#€@! Now I have to do this myself. Well, answer the question!
Petey: Fine. My headbutts were weak because Piranha Plants have soft heads. My tornados didn't hurt him because they just blew him away and Mario can handle a fall. For the record, my goop at least poisoned him. I would have eaten the pest too if I wasn't so afraid of letting him in my stomach with that squirt gun!
Curse Guy: What's your relationship to King Boo?
Petey: We roomed together on the Doomsub when we all went to Isle Delfino. After that we were pen pals, entered kart races together, and are now good friends.
Conrad (from in stomach): Help!
Curse Guy: Fine.
(He pokes Petey's uvula with his spear and he spits up Conrad, along with a lot of goop.)
Curse Guy: ¥%¥+%^#¥•=&$@! Where does this stuff even come from?!
Petey: Like I said, the seed had Jr's goop magic in it. It kind of just appears when I want it to.
Curse Guy: And the cannonballs?
Petey: Just specially prepared goop.
Conrad: Audience questions please! Before he eats me again!
Curse Guy: Seat AHOY!
Wiggler: Why did you eat the Microgoomba?
Petey: I was hungry and he looks like a Mushroom.
Conrad: Seat MANSIONSPECTOR!
King Boo: Didn't you dissolve into paint after SMS?
Petey: Yeah, but Larry used one of my leaves to regrow me. He does that a lot.
67 other Peteys in the audience: He sure does!
Conrad: Seat ITSMYTURN!
Groove Guy: When does this end, end, end?
Backup Dancer: We rented the studio for reversal after the Interview.
Conrad: AHHHH!!! Not again! Save me, Petey!
(He jumps back into Petey's mouth. Petey then walks away.)
Curse Guy: Why did we rent to you again? Oh well, end transmission.
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