(Goomba comes into the studio, wearing a body cast. The cameraman starts rolling.)
Goomba: Hello. Welcome back to Goomba's Interview Show! I somehow survived my previous ordeal, but I'm back! And better than ever!
(Goomba goes into a fit of violent coughing.)
Goomba: Okay, maybe not better than ever, but I'm still here! Today, we're going to interview the mayor of Pianta Village. From Super Mario Sunshine!
Mayor: Hello.
Goomba: Hello to you too. Now, first question. Do you consider yourself competent enough to be an elected official?
Mayor: Sort of. I wasn't really quick to act when that goop came out, though.
Goomba: Now, about that. How do you feel about putting Mario in all those dangerous situations to save your own little town?
Mayor: Great! I mean- What was I supposed to do?
Goomba: Maybe take action!
Mayor: O- Okay.
Goomba: Where do the people live in your town?
Mayor: In the Mushrooms. We have them carved out. It's weird, and a little too cozy, but I'm too lazy to get people to build houses. I mean, I have my Mushroom enchanted so it's very roomy inside
Goomba: Where did all the goop come from?
Mayor: Oh, it was horrible. Some kid disguised as Mario spread it all! I just hid in my Mushroom, so I didn't get covered.
Goomba: Okay, time for audience questions! Seat 231246634125! There are a lot of seats in here, wow!
Chuckster: What did you tell that lady whose Chain Chomplets got loose?
Mayor: Oh, you know. Not my job, not my prob.
Goomba: Seat 1!
Mario: Where did those big palm trees come from?
Mayor: We planted them exactly 341,200 years ago. That's why they're so big!
Goomba: Seat 50,000!
Link: Who dug those various holes around town, comparable to traps?
Mayor: Me!
Link: Why?
Mayor: To catch... people... trying to escape...?
Goomba: Seat 6,783!
Isle Delfino Police Officer: IDPD! You're under arrest for numerous Pianta rights abuses and for failing to take action in a time of danger!
(The Isle Delfino Police arrest the mayor. Everybody falls silent.)
Goomba: That seems like a good place to end the Interview! Come back next time for more of Goomba's Interviews! Where we hopefully won't have a secretive dictator as the interviewee!
Cameraman: I can't believe I got all that on camera! Sorry, Goomba, but I'm going on national news now!
Goomba: Whatever, you get paid minimum wage and are easily replaceable. So until next time, end transmission!
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