Kody: Yes, it’s me, Kody the Boomboxer here. Spare me your comments about where I’ve been, it’s unimportant. You should know well enough by now that I disappear and reappear in cycles. Last Interview was typed up quite a while ago-
(Kody dodges ANOTHER crate.)
Kody: -and mildly touched up like a week ago, so Rigel won’t be doing this Interview. Instead, it will only contain me, the interviewee, and a generic audience, for a change. So, er, have a seat, Tippi, if you can.
Tippi: I’ll flutter, if that’s okay with you.
Kody: Swell. Now tell me about the day you first met Count Blumiere, otherwise known as Count Bleck.
Tippi: I had found him unconscious and hurt, so I took him in. He said he was a member of the Tribe of Darkness, but that didn’t matter to me. He never remembered how he came to be in that state, but he took a liking to me, and I to him.
Kody: Well Blumiere’s father didn’t seem to like you very much, so I perceive. Did the same hold true for your parents and Blumiere?
Tippi: Oh, I was living alone, so he never met my parents. And Blumiere’s father did not seem to like any humans, let alone me.
Kody: All right. What did he do to you at first, BEFORE he sent you to wander through dimensions?
Tippi: I won’t answer that willingly.
Kody: Poison Shroom?
Tippi: ... How did you know?
Kody: I guessed.
Tippi: Lucky guess...
Kody: Why thank you. How did Blumiere’s father manage to stop you and him from getting married?
Tippi: That was far down the road! We were only engaged!
Kody: In other words, there was plenty of time?
Tippi: Yes.
Kody: Bleh, I see. Never mind. What sort of curse did Blumiere’s father put on you to make you wander through dimensions?
Tippi: A curse that made me see things I shouldn’t see...
Kody: Like The Outer Limits?
(Kody’s cellphone rings.)
Kody: Huh? I have a cellphone? Weird. *answering* Hello?
On the other end: Please stand by...
Kody: ...
(Kody hangs up.)
Tippi: Kind of. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Kody: Very true. Merlon found you and turned you into this Pixl form? How did he do that?
Tippi: Magic.
Kody: There’s that answer again. Dare I ask, what kind of magic?
Tippi: Ancient magic, practiced 1,500 years ago.
Kody: Okay, thank you, that’s a little more detailed. And Merlon explained to you everything about the Ancients and their prophecies?
Tippi: Not everything, no. Just the parts about the hero of prophecy in the Light Prognosticus.
Kody: So that was how you found Mario?
Tippi: Yes, actually.
Kody: How come we couldn’t see what your human form was like? We were only given a small shadowy image at the end of the game.
Tippi: It was kept a secret, but I guess you could say I look a bit like a Flipside Peach.
Peach: Why does everyone try to be like me?
Kody: Not the foggiest, actually... Why didn’t you trust Mario at first?
Peach: I always trusted him!
Kody: Not you! Timpani!
Peach: Oh.
Tippi: To be fair I did not really trust anyone at first.
Kody: Not even Merlon?
Tippi: Merlon was different, he nursed me back to health. But being in an unfamiliar area made me very uneasy, I had never been to Flipside before. And I didn’t know what Mario would do.
Kody: Right then. Err... How’d it feel getting caught by Francis like that?
Tippi: Don’t speak to me about that! It gives me the shivers!
Kody: Come on...
Tippi: It was disgusting. And oddly sticky.
Kody: Chameleon tongues often emulate those feelings. I guess you trusted Mario after that, huh?
Tippi: Well if a stout plumber who you’ve been traveling with through two worlds risks life and limb to rescue you from the epitome of nerd-dom, what would you do?
Kody: I’d question his motives first. I’d also remind the interviewee that I ask the questions here, thanks.
Tippi: Duly noted. Sorry.
Kody: No trouble. What did you think of the rest of the Mario gang?
Tippi: Luigi and Peach are very kind, and Bowser is a big softie, though I notice he was trying to cover it up, hehe.
Bowser: BOOM!
(Bowser turns into Boom Boom.)
Boom Boom: This is not what I had envisioned.
Kody: How generic. What about the Pixls?
Tippi: Oh come now, they’re all very friendly. Though not all of them are intelligible.
Boom Boom: BOOM!
(Boom Boom turns into Boome.r)
Boomer: Sssssssss-pow.
Kody: Stop wasting interviewing time! Thank you. I notice Squirps and Luvbi tended to annoy you.
Tippi: At least Squirps had an excuse, he was only a little tyke.
Kody: I do not think living over a thousand years old constitutes as being a little tyke.
Tippi: You would if you were next to him. But like I said, he had an excuse... Luvbi constantly teased me about my love life, there was little reason for that!
Count Bleck: What? I must confront this atrocity, mused Count Bleck.
Tippi: Please quit speaking like that, love.
Count Bleck: Fine. *whispering* ...muttered Count Bleck. Kody: Well she was a brat, what did you expect? Anyway, what exactly happened to you on Flipside Tower? You went rigid and floated to the ground. Tippi: Um... Even I don’t really know. All I was told by Merlon is that my Pixl form was unstable. Kody: In other words, you were about to resume your human form. Tippi: Well maybe not... I could have died on the spot... The thought disturbs me. Kody: Yet you kept going, knowing that? Gutsy. Tippi: There was nothing else I could do... or that Merlon could do. Kody: How old are you? Tippi: ... May I ask why you’re asking such a question? Kody: No. Tippi: Well too bad for you, I can’t even remember. Count Bleck: Well I do. Timpani is 23. Tippi: Excuse me!!! Count Bleck: It is nothing to be ashamed of. Kody: As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with Bleck. Blumiere. One of the two. Whatever. However, you’ll never know my own age. Bwahahaha. Count Bleck: It’s on your bio. (Count Bleck is hit with a water bottle.) Count Bleck: Bleh! Kody: Grrrrrr... Count Bleck: It is nothing to be ashamed of... said Count Bleck. Kody: Stop being a broken record and sit down! Count Bleck: ... Kody: Fine. Stand. Float. Do whatever, see if I care. Errr... Speaking of Bleck, how did you feel when you knew for sure it was him bringing about the end of all worlds? Tippi: Felt like my own world was being turned upside-down... I couldn’t believe it. Kody: Did you have a notion of why he was doing it, before he revealed all? Tippi: Oh no, no no no I didn’t, that is why I was so confused... and scared. Kody: And how on earth do you know Dimentio, since you let slip you knew him before you and Mario fought Fracktail? Tippi: He was part of the Tribe of Darkness, if you must know. He was trying to advance on me before Blumiere asked me to marry him! Kody: ... Gah?! I thought he couldn’t feel emotions such as love! Tippi: Maybe not after I rejected him, but he was definitely trying to win me over before then! Kody: True, that... I misjudged the fellow. I’ll be careful not to do that in the future. Anyway I believe it is time for the audience to put forth questions, as is the norm for every single Interview, so let’s start by rolling the dice, shall we? (Kody gets out 5 dice and a cup.) Tippi: What are you doing? Kody: Yahtzee. It’s a fun game, recommended for all ages. (Kody rolls the dice out of the cup.) Kody: Hmm... Seat... 14. And four twos, sweet. Piranha Plant: How can you check enemies’ stats? Tippi: Merlon was responsible for that, he installed a scanner in this Pixl form, which also helps me find hidden objects. It’s very useful, and I thanked him for it most graciously. Lemmy: So you’re not going to call Seats 1-4, huh? Kody: Depends if I feel like it or not. Err... seat... 30! Woohoo! Five sixes! Dry Bones: Don’t you need to rest after fluttering about for so long? Tippi: Pixls float naturally. Flapping my wings makes it seem more realistic, though. Kody: Seat... 17. Drat... Lemmy: What’d you get? Kody: A 1, 2, 3, 5, and 6. Nothing useful. Waluigi: I have a good seat for once! Oh, uh... wa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! How did you feel about Francis making a robotic replica of you called Tiptron? Tippi: ... He did what? Kody: Oh come on, you didn’t know about that? *rolling dice* Curses, the exact same numbers... Tippi: I had no idea! But I’m not very flattered, all the same. Kody: He’s selling it for 999 coins. Luigi: I’ll take it! Kody: I’m not Francis. Go ask him. Luigi: Okay. Kody: Now then... Seat... 23. Ooh, full house, awesome. Ice Bro: You still loved Bleck? Even after he did all that? Tippi: If you had noticed, we had to defeat him first. After that, yes, I knew he realized the error of his ways. Ice Bro: You’re absolutely mental. Count Bleck: And you are finished! (Count Bleck envelopes the Ice Bro into a void.) Tippi: ... I should feel sorry for him, but I don’t. Kody: I wonder why. Last one, Seat... 7. Three ones. Eh. Shy Guy: Where did you and Bleck go after the game? Tippi: The Overthere. Shy Guy: ... Bleck, you managed to actually get in there?! Count Bleck: I am not proud of it. Tippi: Blumiere! Count Bleck: Oh all right, a little proud... sniffed Count Bleck. Tippi: I heard that. Kody: Right, and with that, this Interview’s over. Lemmy: You have major inconsistency with your Interviews. Kody: Incorrect. I maintain my consistency of submitting Interviews at the speed of continental drift. Lemmy: We’ll see about that... Kody: Yes we will. Now excuse me, I’m trying to play here. Lemmy: End transmission? Kody: Why in the world not. Whoops! You're not logged in!
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