Ben: Hello. I will no longer host the interviews. So I got a Koopa to host them. I'll be the cameraman. Today, Bum will interview Hammer Bro.
Bum: How do you throw infinite hammers?
Hammer Bro: Because we make a few hammers, then we get a Magikoopa to get in our shell and clone them. It hurts our backs.
Bum: What's are Boomerang Bros. and Fire Bros?
HB: Boomerang Bros. are Koopas who are taught to throw boomerangs, and Fire Bros. are trained to throw fire.
(Bum hammers a rock coming at him away with HB's hammer. HB stands for Hammer Bro, for you idiots who don't know how to read shortened names.)
Reader: I'm not an idiot! When I find you, Author, I'm gonna kick you in the-
HB: Technical difficulties. Watch a commercial for now.
Barney: I love you, you love me-
Wendy: No I don't.
(Wendy kills Barney.)
HB: We're back.
(Bum has his face frozen into a weird expression because everyone was watching that Barney commercial.)
Bum: *muffled* Audience questions... Seat 100.
Mario: CHEESE! How come you're so annoying?
HB: Because we're smart, unlike most of Bowser's minions.
Koopa Troopa: It's not our fault! He told us to commit freakin' suicide if we see a pit!
Bum: Seat 7.
Toodles: Why are Sledge Bros. fat?
Hammer Bro: Nintendo made them based on sumo wrestlers, so they force-fed them so much they became chubby. No offense, Sledge Bro, but she called you fat.
Sledge Bro: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, FOOLISH TOAD?
Toodles: I swear! I told the truth!
Sledge Bro: Too late for swearing, bub! DIE!
(Sledge Bro squishes Toodles and pounds her with a hammer.)
Bum: Seat 999.
Red Spike Top: Why do you work for Bowser?
HB: We could not stand seeing Koopas and Goombas being killed, so we cover other minions.
Bum: Seat 12354678908765432.
Lakitu: YAY! I'M BEING INTERVIEWED NEXT! Have you heard of Ice Bros?
HB: Yes, they appeared in NSMBWii and will reappear in Paper Mario 3DS.
Lakitu: Do you create your own hammers?
HB: Yes. End transmission!!!
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