Jalvo: Hello, my wonderful audience!
Audience: HI, JALVO THE SLIME!
Jalvo: Welcome to Jalvo the Slime’s Interview show. I’m your host!
Mini Jalvo: I’m Mini Jalvo, to assist him for this show.
Jalvo: A tradition I do for these Interviews is having a giant net catch an interviewee. From all the Interviews I have done so far, I’ve only made one bad catch.
Iggy: HEY!!!
Jalvo: QUIET, YOU!
(A shriek is heard.)
Mini Jalvo: Perfect timing.
(Jasper is flying in, using the giant net as a broom. Inside the net is a trash can.)
Jasper: I found this one hiding in a trash can!
(Jasper drops the trash can and flies off.)
Mini Jalvo: Um? What’s in there?
(The trash can moves and pops out a plumber.)
Mini Jalvo: Luigi?
???: Close. It’s WAAAAAAAAA-LUIGI!!!
Jalvo: A bad catch this time.
Random Tourist: I actually like Waluigi.
Jalvo: Nobody asked you.
Waluigi: Where am I?
Jalvo: You’re on an interview show.
Waluigi: Who are you interviewing?
Jalvo: No one.
Waluigi: WALUIGI WANTS A REFUND!
Jalvo: You are the interviewee.
Waluigi: Oh.
Mini Jalvo: First question! Is Wario your brother?
Waluigi: No. Wario and I are close friends. We met when we were babies.
Mini Jalvo: Wasn’t Wario on Yoshi’s Island?
Waluigi: Yes he was.
Mini Jalvo: Why weren’t you?
Waluigi: I hadn’t moved into the neighborhood yet.
Jalvo: How did you become rivals with Luigi?
Waluigi: Well, it all started one day…
(Flashback begins with Luigi walking up to Waluigi to greet him.)
Luigi: Hel-
Waluigi: GET OUT OF HERE! WALUIGI HATE YOU!
(End of Flashback)
Jalvo: That’s a pretty lame reason. Just greeting you and you hate him?
Waluigi: He was too friendly.
Jalvo: I guess I can understand that.
Mini Jalvo: What’s your favorite color?
Waluigi: Easy. I’ll let you guess.
Mini Jalvo: Purple?
Waluigi: NO!!! IT’S YELLOW!!!
Jalvo: Then why are you wearing purple?
Waluigi: Wario dibbed the yellow shirt.
Jalvo: Ok then. So what’s the point of your logo?
Waluigi: Easy, it’s an upside down L!
Jalvo: More like an upside down then flipped L.
Waluigi: Waluigi hates you.
Jalvo: I hate you too.
Random Tourist: I LOVE YOU WALUIGI!
Mini Jalvo: Besides this hating fest, why are you only in sports and party games?
Waluigi: I am a party animal so I love going to parties. That’s why!
Mini Jalvo: Now for the second half of the question.
Waluigi: Well I picked up a racket when I was 7 years old. I loved tennis so I thought I could try others!
Mini Jalvo: Ok. Now in Mario Tennis 64, why did your eyes glow purple when hitting the ball?
Waluigi: Well I was trained in the art of tennis by Master Wayoshi-
Jalvo: How do you pronounce that?
Waluigi: WAH-YOSHI. Back to what I was sayin-
Jalvo: So a Yoshi with Wa in front of it?
Waluigi: Correct. Now I was saying that Master Wayoshi taught me the art of tennis. He taught me a forbidden tennis move. That move was the “Evil Ball”. When hitting the ball, your eyes glow of the color of your aura.
Mini Jalvo: Your aura being purple.
Jalvo: I wanted to ask you something that has been bothering me for some time.
Waluigi: Which is?
Jalvo: Why do you talk in third person?
Waluigi: I only do that when I am angry. I blew up once and now it’s a running gag.
Jalvo: I see. Now it’s time for audience questions!
Mini Jalvo: Seat LOVELY BONES!
Dry Bones: Why do you yell Waaaaaaa?
Waluigi: That’s another gag. I only do it when I am angry.
Jalvo: Seat I HAVE ANGER PROBLEMS!
Angry Sun: Why is the symbol on your hat yellow instead of purple?
Waluigi: Like I said before, I like the color yellow.
Mini Jalvo: Seat UPSIDE DOWN M!
Wario: Why is the outside of your eyes light blue?
Waluigi: Like yours?
Wario: Umm *begins picking his nose* yeah.
Waluigi: I dunno. I’m guessing that we were born this way.
Jalvo: Seat FLOWER POWER!
Amazee Dayzee: Why is your mustache the way it is?
Waluigi: Wario and I styled our ‘staches after our logos. His is W, mine is L.
Amazee Dayzee: Isn’t yours an upside down L?
Waluigi: LUIGI STOLE WALUIGI’S LOGO!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
Mini Jalvo: … Seat I HAVE NEVER HAD THE SPOTLIGHT!
Luigi: Why won’t you let me greet you?
Waluigi: BECAUSE WALUIGI HATES YOU NOW! YOU CAN’T MEND HATRED!!!
Luigi: I am only tryin-
(Waluigi pulls out a slingshot and starts shooting at Luigi.)
Luigi: OWOWOWOW!
Waluigi: WAAAAAAA!
Jalvo: Regardless of how much-
(Waluigi hits Jalvo.)
Jalvo: …we want this to go on, we have to end.
Mini Jalvo: END TRANSMISS-
(Mini Jalvo is splattered by Waluigi stomping on him.)
Waluigi: -ION WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(Cuts before Waluigi finishes.)
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