JALVO THE SLIME interviews LUBBA
 
By Jalvo the Slime

Jalvo: Welcome, baddies and goodies of all kind!

Mini Jalvo: Goodies? Like Goodie Bags?

Jalvo: Not that. Like good guys, of course!

Mini Jalvo: You are an idiot.

Jasper: So are you. Now get back to the intro, King Jalvo.

Jalvo: I like that… king… Welcome to Jalvo the Slime’s Interview show. I am the interviewer, with the help from-

Jasper: Jasper!

(A shriek is heard in the distance.)

Jalvo: You know what that sound means?

Random Tourist: No…

Jalvo: It’s the Interviewee Net!

Boosly: The net caught Lubba!

Mini Jalvo: Tubba Blubba?

Tubba Blubba: Me?

Boosly: Not you. Lubba the Luma!

Lubba: Hi.

Jalvo: Hello to you too. Now to start things off, why are you wearing pants?

Lubba: All of us Lumas wear pants, you silly slime!

Jasper: (looking at a photo of a Luma) Sorry to break it to you, but you’re the only Luma with pants.

Lubba: Oh… Well I wear pants to keep me warm.

Jalvo: Sounds reasonable to me.

Jasper: How did you get so big?

Lubba: Well dear Magikoopa, my size has to do with my rank. Mama put me in charge of the Planet Ship and Lumas.

Jasper: I see, could you tell me more of this Planet Ship?

Lubba: Have you seen the game based on Mario’s second intergalactic adventure?

Jalvo and Jasper: No.

Lubba: Oh. Well old Magikoopa, the Ship that I command is disguised as a planet. At any moment the ship can transform into the head of the hero that is onboard.

Jasper: Ok, so what form is the ship now?

Lubba: Mario of course!

(Jasper, Mini Jalvo, Jalvo, and Boosly stop what they are doing and stare. Lubba looks at them and begins to worry.)

Lubba: DID I SAY SOMETHING BAD?

(Jalvo continues to stare at Lubba, while Jasper walks up to Lubba and whispers in his ear.)

Jasper: (whispering) You said Mario.

Lubba: Your point is?

Jasper: Mario is an enemy in this interview room. The only plumber that we don’t mind is Luigi.

Lubba: Oh! Well I forgot to mention that the Planet Ship turned into Luigi’s face as well!

Jalvo: I like this new answer more than the original.

Jasper: I am running out of questions…

Mini Jalvo: Well that mean’s it is audience questions!

Jalvo: Seat PLAYER 2!

Luigi: You guys find a new seat for me every time…

Jalvo: At least we like you. Get to the question, underdog!

Luigi: I have been wondering. What do Star Bits taste like?

Lubba: To tell you the truth, I have lay off the Star Bits. I haven’t eaten any of those in 20 years.

(Luigi throws Star Bits at Lubba.)

Lubba: Oh, they taste so sweet! MMMMmmmm!!! I NEED MORE!

(Luigi eats a Star Bit. As his tongue touches it, he spits it out.)

Luigi: THIS TASTES LIKE SAND!

Lubba: Well duh! It is only meant for Stars and Lumas to eat.

Mini Jalvo: Seat SNIFF IT!

Snifit: Very original… Anyways, how come your eyes are blue? All the Lumas in the audience have black eyes.

Lubba: Well, eye color depends on your size. As you can see, I am a big Luma, meaning I have blue eyes.

Snifit: Thank you.

Jalvo: Seat MASCOT?

Mario: Hi Lubba. Is the ship ready to laun-

(Jalvo jumps and engulfs Mario. Boosly flies up and tries to be scary. Then Jasper uses his magic and throws Lubba and Mario out of the studio.)

Mini Jalvo: How did Mario-

Jalvo: Get in here?

Jasper: Dunno.

Jalvo: Well we lost our interviewee so-

Boosly: END TRANSMISSION!

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