(ludwigkoopa2 shuffles his papers)
ludwigkoopa2: ... one sec.
(papers screw up)
ludwigkoopa2: come on....
(ludwigkoopa2 checks the camera)
(camera beeps)
ludwigkoopa2: Alright everyone! Welcome to my--
(lights explode in a shower of sparks)
ludwigkoopa2: um... heh... be right back.
(THUD)
ludwigkoopa2: OW!!! WHO PUT THAT TABLE THERE? HEY!! LIGHT CREW! WHERES THE LIGHTS? WHAT THE #$%^ IS HAPPENING BACK THERE!?
(light crew fiddles with the controls)
light crew: *faintly* alright! that should do it!
(Camera falls over. lights explode again)
ludwigkoopa2: REALLY!? REALLY!?
(camera shuts off)
(~~~
~~~
~~~)
(camera beeps)
ludwigkoopa2: Alrighty then. after a couple of *ahem* technical difficulties
crew person: hey, sir? where do you want the dead guy?
ludwigkoopa2: *shoves the guy off the camera* erm... that... wasn't *shove* supposed... *shove*... GO PUT THAT OUTSIDE!!! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT!!! okay, lets try this again. after a couple of *mumble mumble* .... aha. there we go.. we are proud to introduce, The Ludwig Von Koopa! Prince of the Koopa Clan and heir to the great Koopa throne!
(ludwigkoopa2 grabs a chair and sits cross-legged and hands folded. Ludwig makes his way over to his chair and waves to a couple of koopas in the back row)
ludwigkoopa2: *excitedly* Hi Ludwig!
Ludwig: *looks around* Vhy this is a nice stage setup. Hello fan, i see you have a few questions.
ludwigkoopa2: oh thats not the whole list *points backstage*
Ludwig *in disbelief* Vhow, big fan...
ludwigkoopa2: ahem, back to the interview. Alrighty then, first question!
Ludwig: Vhoo boy..
ludwigkoopa2: when you were little, what influenced you to compose?
Ludwig: vhell, ... vhen i was little, vhendy would never stop crying at night, so-
(everyone in the audience shifts and looks at wendy)
Ludwig: *to himself* awkvhard! heh, thats what you get for stealing my stash! -- anyvhay, i sat down one day, and thought about how i could make her stop, so i started experimenting with soft tones of music, hoping i could create the ultimate lullaby! But, while i was experimenting, i got sidetracked and started playing random songs, eventually i spent hours a day down in the basement playing music, then i thought i could create my own. That's when i started composing.
ludwigkoopa2: i've noticed in all the stories on the site im interviewing for-- *waves to lemmy*
lemmy: Thanks!!
ludwigkoopa2: -the stereotype is to call you songs horrible, and earstabbingly terrible.
Ludwig: Yeah, not too proud of that... *face gets red*
ludwigkoopa2: but, i think its actually unique! would you like to play some for us?
Ludwig: *still embarrassed* actually... i... no... um..
ludwigkoopa2: not live, just playing it from the speakers.
Ludwig: umm.. sure?
ludwigkoopa2: okay then!
(interference is heard)
crowd: AHHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!
ludwigkoopa2: *holding ears* WHY DID I HIRE A CHEAP CREW!? WHY!?
(ludwigkoopa2 shoots m4a1 carbine into sound and lighting)
ludwigkoopa2: DIE YOU WORTHLESS..... GAH!!! I DON"T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY YOU ARE SO HORRIBLE!!! JUST DIEEEEE!!!
(gun runs out of ammo)
Ludwig: .... umm. *gets up* ... are you okay? *walks over to ludwigkoopa2* ...
ludwigkoopa2: umm. sorry about that everyone! heh. just had to fix things a bit... erm. back to the interview i guess?
(ludwigkoopa2 kicks gun off the stage and into the crowd, where it fires one last shot that was in the chamber and hits morton)
ludwigkoopa2: ahh... where were we... oh second question.
Ludwig: is there anymore things you can solve with a gun in one day?
ludwigkoopa2: well you can solve cookie mountain's hunger problem--
Karma: NO. *gives evil stare*
ludwigkoopa2: heh... just... kidding...
(ludwigkoopa2 waves karma off shyly)
Ludwig: Yeah, don't say things like THAT around her.
ludwigkoopa2: ANYWAY, second question. IF, of course saying you've already met someone--
Ludwig: better skip that one too.
ludwigkoopa2: this is supposed to be a personal interview, but saying the stereotype for lemmy's website is to have the interview from an auditorium which is nonexistent in castle koopa, Im going to have to skip that part of the interview.
Ludwig: *sarcastically* aww. really? dang...
ludwigkoopa2: *to himself* okay... 15th question on page number.... 8? yeah... got it now. okay! What's your daily routine?
Ludwig: that's sort of a strange question... vhell, saying from the morning to a basic night, i usually vhake up pretty early, to get my daily chores out of the vhay; make sure the guards are doing their duties, check for threats at the front gate, and then feed bagels and playful, since nobody else bothers to. Then i eat a quick breakfast-
mario: you can-a never go-a wrong with-a toast!!! wahoo!!
(mario is hit with a light that conveniantly falls after he says that exact line)
Ludwig: vhell, that was convenient!
ludwigkoopa2: tell me about it.
Ludwig: well. IF THERE ARENN'T ANY MORE INTERRUPTIONS... THANK YOU. after a quick breakfast, i usually work on the project im currently working on, then check if larry needs any help vhith any of his plant stuff, then well... anything can happen from there. so i guess that's it.
ludwigkoopa2: well then, that was... predictable.
Ludwig: well, not much else to do.
Karma: You can spend time with me more!
Ludwig: Well then stop trying to kill me every time i walk near your door! You nearly killed me with that gun trap!
Karma: I was watching saw! i wanted to see if that actually works!
Ludwig: You KNOW im the only one that goes by your door.
Karma: KILLJOY!!!
ludwigkoopa2: save it for after the interview guys! we don't want to make ANOTHER scene!
Ludwig: is this even still an interview?
lemmy: *gets up* well if you add 15 more interruptions, we can call it a scribble!
ludwigkoopa2: not what im aiming for anymore.
lemmy: *sits back down* okay.
ludwigkoopa2: were putting WAY to much space between these questions so...
Engineer from Team fortress 2: Buildin' a sentreh!
(sentry makes whirring noises)
Ludwig: Showoff.
ludwigkoopa2: hey, you are the one that gave me that game to reality, Ray. anyway, if anyone in the audience interrupts without me asking a question from the audience, we'll have Engi here…
(Engineer uses the Wrangler and fires 3 warning shots into the ceiling)
ludwigkoopa2: 4th question! if you could rule any part of plit, where would it be?
Ludwig: well, i'd probably stay in pipeland.
ludwigkoopa2: why is that?
Ludwig: proabaly because it's so confusing, only smart people could get in, but i'd have to give karma a map. So she can go there too.
Karma: You callin' me dumb?!
(three shots are fired)
Ludwig: Ahem. didn't say that.
Karma: YOU MISSED!
(three more are fired)
Karma: im going backstage, this is ridiculous.
ludwigkoopa2: nice one. on to the next question, If you could bring anyone from the dead back to life, who would it be?
Ludwig: An average koopa troopa.
ludwigkoopa2: huh!? why?
Ludwig: so i can harness the magic, then use it to create an invincible army!
ludwigkoopa2: good idea! next question... ooh! this is a crowd question!!!
(a flashing marquee sign is lowered from the ceiling that says in bright letters; CROWD QUESTION!)
ludwigkoopa2: hey! it works!!!
(the sign falls, crushing the front row of the audience, including luigi, 3 koopa troopas and a goomba.)
Ludwig: umm. was... that supposed to happen?
ludwigkoopa2: not even gonna. not gonna.
random person: HES GONNA BLOW! EVERYONE! HIT THE DIRT!
(the Engineer fires 10 shots into the crowd. the crowd ducks to the floor)
ludwigkoopa2: it's okay guys, im okay. im not gonna fire that rpg thats conveniently stored backstage.
(a huge sigh of relief is heard from the crowd)
Ludwig: hey! it hit luigi! all this faulty stuff is actually doing some good!
ludwigkoopa2: exactly. anyway, Today's crowd question is…
(a drumroll is heard)
ludwigkoopa2: If you could have an infinite supply of something, what would it be? lucky seat: 554837b, please answer!
Ludwig: thats a front row seat, and everyone vhas killed.
ludwigkoopa2: okay then, can we have a show of hands?
(everyone left raises their hands)
ludwigkoopa2: let's see... umm... Ludwig, you choose!
Ludwig: how about, seat 450329h?
ludwigkoopa2: sounds good.
Toadsworth: if i could have an infinite supply of anything, i would have infinite tickets to oho oasis! i've been needing a vacation you know.
Princess Peach: THEN CLEAN THE DANG BATHROOM!
(The Engineer fires 4 shots)
Toadsworth: The Princess!
(toadsworth jumps in front of the princess and gets hit with all four shots, killing him)
Princess Peach: NOW WHO'S GOING TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM?
(a stream of toads run out the exit door)
Ludwig: umm. can vhe get rid of the engineer?
ludwigkoopa2: *holding a pda with a red button protruding from it* go now. *presses button*
(sentry explodes; sending pieces of scrap metal flying into the left side of the crowd)
random person: MY EYE!!!
ludwigkoopa2: on to the next question. Ludwig, if you were going to die in three days, what would you and karma do?
Ludwig: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?
ludwigkoopa: oh. i read the wrong thing. thats the death note karma threw at me a few seconds ago, you really need to sign her up for therapy or something.
Ludwig: i've been thinking of that.
ludwigkoopa2: okay found it! next question! okay, if you were stranded on a desert island, with one person, and you could have 3 things, who would you bring, and what would you bring?
Ludwig: the person? Karma. the items? a plane, a million coins, and infinite smoothies.
ludwigkoopa2: that sounds like a vacation plan.
Ludwig: yep.
ludwigkoopa2: next question, why don't you ever take showers? seriously, i think Karma and i, along with the rest of the crowd, would appreciate it if you looked into your hygiene habits.
Ludwig: Three reasons, Too busy, i don't like getting vhet, and it makes my hair look all poofy and thats how i like it.
ludwigkoopa2: ... kay then, on to the next question. If you could say anything to karma, not including death threats. what would it be?
Ludwig: vhell seeing that she isn't visible... i've always vanted to tell her sorry that i used her shirt as an oilrag that one time. i know i've said it before, but she seems to hold a grudge on that.
ludwigkoopa2: oh! i remember that story! anyway, last question!
Ludwig: then vhat's that huge pile of papers over there?
ludwigkoopa2: i stole some copy paper from iggy. and some of that in there is artwork i've yet to scan for lemmy.
Ludwig: oh... iggy's not gonna be happy about that.
ludwigkoopa2: he can't beat me up.
Ludwig: good point.
ludwigkoopa2: Back to the interview--
Ludwig: more like a talkshow.
ludwigkoopa2: if you could bring any of your inventions out---
(ludwig's music starts playing)
ludwigkoopa2: TURN THAT OFF. YOU HAVE ALREADY MISSED THE CUE.
(it abruptly shuts off, then a faint explosion is heard while the sound booth starts smoking)
Ludwig: vow, you have some bad luck, kid.
(beep beep)
ludwigkoopa2: like i was SAYing. ... ifyoucouldbringanyofyourinventions--
Ludwig: vhy are you talking so fast?
ludwigkoopa2: becausethecamera'sbatteryisabouttodie so ifyoucouldbringoutaninventionwhatwoulditbe? hurry!
Ludwig: i would bring out...
ludwigkoopa2: hurry!!
Ludwig: my refurbished Transmogrifier!
ludwigkoopa2:whythatthing?
Ludwig: because people say it's horrible and explodes all the time!
ludwigkoopa2: that'sallfortonightpeople! seeyounexttimeonludwigkoopa2's interviewswewillinterviewKarma! seeya bye!
(ludwigkoopa2 jumps at the camera. the camera goes dark)
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