Vim: Way to go.
1-up Boo: Oh please, it isn’t ALL my fault!
(1-up Boo, Vim, and Void are in a large, cube, metal cage being dragged by a metal chariot-type thing; there is a Dark Koopatrol as the “driver”.)
1-up Boo: And besides, they can’t keep us in here forever! I know how to bribe!
Vim: Right…
Void: I forget, why isn’t Kingfin in here with us?
1-up Boo: He was too big, so they put him in a different cage. Now help me out here.
(1-up Boo is using a fingernail filer to attempt to cut through the cage… I don’t think it’ll work.)
Vim: … Really
1-up Boo: Yes, I’ve just got to do this for a few more days, possibly weeks, maybe months…
Void: I would unleash a dark blast if you guys weren’t so close.
Vim: I’ll go in the very corner, and then unleash it, preferrably at 1-up Boo.
1-up Boo: Pfft, he wouldn-
Dark Koopatrol: Would you morons shut it?
1-up Boo: How about you MAKE US?!
Dark Koopatrol: No.
Vim: You really should.
1-up Boo: Yeah, try messing with Void, he’s a BEAST.
Void: I am?
1-up Boo: Yes you are.
Dark Koopatrol: … Okay, that’s it. BOSS!
Vim: Watch, it’ll be Bowser.
1-up Boo: Ahh, no it won’t, he’s in the dumpster!
Vim: I think he got out of it by now…
Void: I heard he got knocked out by some Dry Bones… I think he was green…
1-up Boo: Let’s not bring up false facts.
(This random, weird, and stupid conversation continues for a few minutes… until the chariot stops, and the metal cage opens.)
1-up Boo: AHA! MY PLAN WORKED!
Vim: What plan?
1-up Boo: My secret plan. Run, fools, run!
???: Oh no you don’t!
(They are about to charge out when… 1-up Boo floats… in? Wait, there’s two?)
1-up Boo: …
Vim: …
Void: …
Dark Koopatrol: …
Random Goomba: …
1-up Boo???: …
1-up Boo: IMPOSTER!
1-up Boo???: Gasp, I was called an imposter, by an incompetent loser!
1-up Boo: Oh, you wanna go?!
1-up Boo???: I sure do!
Void: … Ideas, Vim?
(The two 1-up Boos are fighting furiously.)
Vim: … I know what to do.
(Vim walks into the middle of the fight… the first 1-up Boo smacks him with a hammer.)
Vim: That’s him…
1-up Boo: No interrupting fights, Vimmy!
1-up Boo?: Curses.
(POOF!)
Mimi: MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!
1-up Boo: Aha. And you thought you could be me? There’s only ONE… 1-up Boo!
Vim: … I’ll get the camera.
1-up Boo: … Ah, yes. Good idea.
Mimi: Oh no you don’t!
Void: Wait, why are you here, anyway?
Mimi: It’s my new part-time job. “Count’s Pizza”.
Void: Of course…
1-up Boo: Okay Mimi, I have a proposition to offer you: we interview you, you let us go.
Mimi: Ehhh… okay.
1-up Boo: Great, first question, why-
Vim: This started off very randomly.
1-up Boo: Don’t care… Wait, we need Kingfin, he has the camera.
Mimi: I’ll call my part-time assistant!
Void: He has a camera?
Mimi: She. And yes…
(Mimi talks on the phone for a bit, then throws it out a random window that appeared out of nowhere.)
Mimi: She’ll be here shortly, go ahead and ask the first question.
1-up Boo: Why-
???: I’m here!
1-up Boo: Would you let me SPEAK… Oh my…
(A Pink Boo floats up with a camera.)
1-up Boo: …
Void: … Sir?
1-up Boo: Vim! It’s your turn.
Vim: What?
1-up Boo: To interview, interview Mimi, now, do it… or else.
Vim: I’ll probably end up getting hurt somehow…
Pink Boo: Stop staring at me.
1-up Boo: So, what’s your name?
Void: Oh no…
Mimi: Can we start this wonderful Interview thing, or do I still have to arrest you guys for not paying?
Vim: Wasn’t it technically just 1-up Boo that didn’t pa-
1-up Boo: CONSPIRACY!
Vim: … Really? Truly? Seriously?
1-up Boo: Mhm.
Mimi: Okay, this is taking forever, START IT.
1-up Boo: Pfft, I’ll do it then. Do you feel anything when you change?
Mimi: Well, besides from my skin feeling different and ending up wearing stupid ugly clothes, if the creature even WEARS clothes…
Vim: Burn.
1-up Boo: I’m a ghost, I don’t think clothes would work out.
Vim: … Curses.
Mimi: Ahem, being that I’m not what I used to be, I feel quite different.
Void: But what about the second you change?
Mimi: That’s the weirdest part, being that I can change immediately; well… quickly.
1-up Boo: Get your vocabulary straight!
(She changes into 1-up Boo.)
1-up Boo: … Grrrrr…
Mimi: I can stay like this to annoy, you know… if you wore clothes.
1-up Boo: Hah. Right, so time for the question everyone wants to know!
Vim: Why is her change into the spider form type thing so creepy?
1-up Boo: We’ll get to that later. First, the rupees!
Mimi: What ‘bout them?
1-up Boo: You know what, what’d Link do to you?!
Awkward silence…
1-up Boo: … What?
Mimi: I don’t know what you’re talking about; I wanted my business to be unique. I did have some robbers in the mansion, they may have coins to smuggle, and I didn’t check them for money. Making the rupee system made things easier; also they’re so much shinier. And shiny stuff is nice.
1-up Boo: Right, how’d you GET so many prisoners anyway?!
Mimi: I prefer to think of them as rude guests.
Void: Weren’t you an unwanted guest?
(Mimi glares at Void.)
Void: I dare you.
1-up Boo: A fight! Our ratings will go up ten-fold!
Mimi: Nah.
1-up Boo: Awww…
Mimi: Anyway, they were all so rude and broke the $5 va… erm, the $1,000 vase and had to repay the debt! The jerks!
1-up Boo: First of all-
Mimi: Answer or die.
Void: Cheap, and you can’t break a single vase multiple times.
1-up Boo: Good job, Void.
Vim: And there’s the fact that you decided to put the vase on a BLOCK.
Mimi: I was… she… who… ugh. I give up.
1-up Boo: Hah, 1 point for 1-up Boo! See what I did there?
Crickets…
1-up Boo: … How do you float later in the game and shoot rupees out of you?
Mimi: I-
1-up Boo: I HATE YOU, MAGIKOOPAS!
Mimi: Good guess, but no.
1-up Boo: Curses.
Mimi: The Dark Prognosticus had its many perks. Count Bleck told me floating was one of them. He couldn’t always float, and neither could I-
1-up Boo: You stole the wonderful powers of the Boo! Just like we stole your pizza! We’re even!
Mimi: … I got the power to float as well as to make the rupees float. As for how they got shot out of me, they were in my pocket and-
1-up Boo: And Magikoopas made them smaller and they could teleport to where you saw them pop out.
Mimi: … Impressive.
Void: Good one.
1-up Boo: That’s two points for me!
Mimi: You’re really annoying, aren’t you.
Vim: He’s an incompetent jerk who doesn’t know his place!
(1-up Boo… is… looking for something?)
1-up Boo: Where’s my rocket launcher?!
Vim: Hah.
1-up Boo: Greeny! Where-
Mimi: Mimi.
1-up Boo: Yes, Greeny, where’d you put Maria?
Silence…
Vim: You-
1-up Boo: Did not name it! How exactly do you transform into a spider?
Mimi: … Uh huh. Concentration for one thing, though it’s mainly something I just trigger, if you know what I mean. Maybe something in my insides? I don’t know for certain; it’s complex, and you can expect it to be.
1-up Boo: Just like how Boos turn intangible… Wait, I could’ve… this… whole time.
Vim: Seriously?
1-up Boo: Boos can be forgetful!
Mimi: Sure they can.
1-up Boo: Thanks… Wait…
Mimi: Continue.
1-up Boo: Hmph, did you know Count Bleck’s true intentions at first?
Mimi: None of us did, we didn’t find out for awhile. ‘Course we all know Dimentio was the real villain.
1-up Boo: He should be a Super Smash Bros. Brawl character.
Void: No, I should be.
1-up Boo: Good call!
Vim: Interruptions happen often, don’t they?
1-up Boo: Indeed they do.
Mimi: Yes, and I always have to tell you to-
1-up Boo: Continuing on! What keeps you so loyal to Count Bleck?
Mimi: He was a good guy deep down. And he promised us great power and all that jazz. He made it feel that the things we were doing were always for a good purpose, and that he needed our help.
Void: Which he did.
Mimi: Indeed.
1-up Boo: So… *leans close* what do you DO in your free time?!
Mimi: I-
1-up Boo: Shop…lift! You SHOPLIFT.
Mimi: What’s the joy of shoplifting when you feel guilty after doing it? Besides, all I really want is colorful clothes that make other peoples’ clothes look bad!
1-up Boo: Unless you’re an awesome ghost and don’t need them.
Vim: And foolish.
1-up Boo: And foolish what?
Vim: You’re foolish.
1-up Boo: Hurtful, REAL hurtful.
Vim: Still hate you.
Mimi: Bickering is very mean, so continue.
1-up Boo: What else is there to ask? Questions about your pizza toppings?
Mimi: Yeah.
1-up Boo: Oh, why-
Vim: DON’T!
1-up Boo: So, according to your diary I stole, what-
Mimi: WHAT?!
1-up Boo: -was it like when you turned into Bowser during that one cutscene? Did you feel powerful? Vicious? Or just stupid?
(A growl is heard from far off…)
Mimi: … Oh, that. I felt like him, well, obviously. And it was just another interesting experience. It’s tempting to turn into random people to see what it’s like. Got to try them all!
1-up Boo: That sounds oddly familiar.
Mimi: No it doesn’t.
1-up Boo: Mhm’k, AUDIENCE TIME!
(Crickets… and a mosquito, which 1-up Boo kills violently…)
Mimi: o_o
1-up Boo: Right, where’s our audience?
Vim: We don’t have one, and no I will not get one.
(1-up Boo attempt to give a “googly eye” look.)
Vim: ... That just makes you look weird.
1-up Boo: Curses.
Void: We could just ask questions.
1-up Boo Eh, why not, Sure. Go. Now. Faster.
Void: K, those “ears”… ARE ears right? The blocky-shaped things?
1-up Boo: OHHHHHHH!
Mimi: Still not fighting, you know.
1-up Boo: Bah, you’re no fun. Fighting is everything!
(1-up Boo stares at Vim.)
Vim: *sigh…*
Mimi: And yes, those are my ears, and what are you “Oh-ing” about?
1-up Boo: Oh-ing?
Mimi: Yes, ‘cause Boos don’t even HAVE ears.
(More cricket chirping… and a passing cockroach.)
1-up Boo: Well… we hear with our MINDS.
Void: We do?
1-up Boo: Sure, why not. Vim, ask something!
Vim: No.
1-up Boo: Yes.
Vim: Why?
Mimi: So we can end this.
Vim: Fine. One thing that makes you an interesting character is that you actually change CLOTHES. Or at least they weren’t always the same.
1-up Boo: That isn’t really a question…
Vim: Well, I thought I’d point it out.
Mimi: Guess most heroes want to seem professional or something. They probably have a closest just filled with the same uniform.
1-up Boo: Probably. Anything else that can be asked?
Void: How long were you in the mansion?
Mimi: Awhile until that mean Mario did you-know-what. With how many prisoners I got over time, it had to be at least 5+ months.
1-up Boo: Great… are we done now?
Mimi: Well-
1-up Boo: Good night, everyone! Thanks for watching and good night!
(The Pink Boo stops the footage.)
Mimi: That was interesting.
1-up Boo: Sure… Wait, so where’s Kingfin?
Mimi: Huh? The dead fish thing? He was in the cage next to you the whole time!
(1-up Boo looks over to see Kingfin sleeping in the cage.)
1-up Boo: … Figures. *ahem* I FOUND COOKIES!
Kingfin: COOKIES!
(Kingfin breaks through the cage with ease and starts jumping up and down.
Kingfin: Where cookies, Boss? And where we again?
1-up Boo: Just ate the last one, and we’re in… Wait, I don’t know where we are.
(Everyone glances around to see Mimi and her other chariot things leaving.)
1-up Boo: GACK! WE NEED… a… map. AND I NEVER GOT THE PINK BOO’S NUMBER!
Vim: Oh wow, so sad.
Void: I’m sure you’ll see her again.
(1-up Boo looks back at the chariots to see the Pink Boo waving in a flirty manner. Gasp!)
1-up Boo: … Oh yes! I’m smooth.
Vim: Shut up.
1-up Boo: Okay, I’ll bring it up some other time… Wait, are we still being filmed?
Void: On it.
(END TRANSMISSION.)
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