Tails: Cream! You’ve got an Interview to do!
Cream: Where’s Sayaman?
Tails: Bowser threw him in the dungeon for beating up Morton again.
Cream: Oh. Well, who am I interviewing?
Tails: Larry Koopa. Bye Bye Creamy.
Cream: Bye Tails.
(Tails exits through a warp pipe and the audience walks in.)
Cream: Hello, and welcome to-
Lemmy: -Lemmy’s Interview show!
Cream: Today I am going to interview Larry Koopa.
Lemmy: You forgot the exclamation mark.
(The fourth wall falls and almost crushes Lemmy.)
Cream: Lemmy, are you okay?!
Lemmy: Yeah. I’ll just be going to my usual spot now.
Cream: Please welcome Larry Koopa!
(Larry walks in cautiously.)
Larry: Susan isn’t here, is she?
Cream: No, she’s not.
Larry: Thank DAD!
Cream: So anyway, I’ll get right to the questions. Do you like girls yet?
Larry: Well, yeah. There are a few girls who get my attention.
Cream: Any in this room?
Larry: *blushes* No, not really.
Cream: Why do you like plants so much?
Larry: I find how well they can adapt to any environment to be quite interesting.
Cream: How sneaky are you?
Larry: This sneaky! (holding Cream’s wallet)
Cream: Wow! And give me that back!
Larry: Sure thing.
Cream: Thanks. Have you got any blackmail on anyone in Castle Koopa recently?
Larry: Yep.
(He shows a photo of Sayaman cuddling with baby Aislynn.)
Cream: Aw, I didn’t know he had such a soft spot for children.
Larry: I wonder how Ludwig and Karma would react if they saw this.
Cream: Why do you have that star tattoo on your face?
Larry: I thought I’d do something to change my appearance like Lemmy did. But my tattoo wasn’t as noticeable as his ponytail.
Cream: Time for audience questions. Seat 7.
Bowser Jr: Why do you have that weird Mohawk?
Larry: Big brother Lemmy has one. So I thought, why not?
Cream: Seat 8.
Susan: Do you like me?
Larry: For the hundredth time, NO!
Cream: Seat 9.
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!
Cream: Bebop, could you take care of him?
Bebop: Sure thing, cutie.
(Bebop literally throws Morton out of the studio.)
Cream: Seat 10.
Wart: Why do you let Roy beat you up so much?
Larry: I don’t. I’m just never ready for it. At least I don’t get beat up as much as my weak older brother Iggy.
Cream: Seat 24
Mario: It’s-a me! Mario!
Cream: Rocksteady, please get him.
(Rocksteady blows Mario out of Dark Land with a grenade.)
Cream: Seat 17.
Waluigi: Wah!
Cream: Just ask a question, scaredy-cat.
Waluigi: Are you a bigger double-crosser than my brother?
Larry: No. I only did that once, in the cartoon.
*meanwhile*
Bowser: Okay, time’s up. You can leave the dungeon now.
Sayaman: Thanks, King Koopa.
*back to the Interview*
Cream: Okay, that should do it for audience questions. I’m sure Sayaman would want me to ask: do you like Yoshis?
Larry: No.
Sayaman: What? YAAAAARG!
(He runs in and tackles Larry to the ground.)
Larry: Get off me!
Sayaman: Fine.
(He takes a seat in the audience.)
Cream: Any more audience questions? Seat 1.
Sayaman: Have you ever thought of doing King Koopa in?
Larry: Not really. Just whenever he punishes me.
Cream: Okay, that should just about do it. You can go now.
Larry: Goodbye.
Sayaman: So, how did it go without me here?
Cream: Oh, it went just fine.
Sayaman: See you next time on-
Lemmy: -Lemmy’s interview show!
Cream: End Transmission.
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