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SAYAMAN interviews ANTI GUY
 
By Sayaman

Sayaman: Hello and welcome to-

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview show!

Sayaman: Today I thought I’d start with a little magic act to celebrate this being my first text-only Interview. I’m going to pull a rabbit out of a hat!

(Sayaman reaches down into a magician’s hat)

Sayaman: Woah! This rabbit is pretty heavy! I’m going to use both hands.

(He pulls with both hands and Cream the Rabbit comes out of the hat)

Sayaman: Uh… Ta-dah!

Cream: Mr. Bl- I mean Sayaman, why am I here?

Sayaman: I was pulling a rabbit out of my hat to entertain the audience, but since it’s you, would you like to be my co-interviewer?

Cream: Will I have to do anything embarrassing or difficult?

Sayaman: Nope, the only thing that could be considered difficult would be tolerating some of the interviewees.

Cream: Ok, sure!

(They shake hands in agreement, as shown in the picture above.)

Sayaman: Today’s interviewee is my favorite underling, ANTI GUY!

(Anti Guy walks in and a mob of Sports Hall fans have to be detained by Bebop and Rocksteady.)

AntiGuy: Thanks for getting rid of that mob!

Sayaman: It’s part of their job.

Bebop and Rocksteady: We would have done it anyway.

Sayaman: Anyway, I think we should get started.

Anti Guy: Go ahead.

Cream: Why were you so much tougher than General Guy?

Anti Guy: That dweeb is my little brother.

General Guy: DWEEB?! I declare war!

(General Guy throws a grenade but Anti Guy knocks it back at him like it was nothing.)

*BOOM*

General Guy: I’M BLASTING OFF AGAIN!

Cream: YOU’RE AWESOME!

Sayaman: So, why was General Guy leader of the Shy Guys?

Anti Guy: King Koopa liked his tank.

Bowser: WAZZUP!

Sayaman: King Koopa, I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that while I’m doing an Interview.

Bowser: Sorry.

Cream: Why were you guarding a Power Plus badge?

Anti Guy: I stole it from this huge guy called Charlieton, or something like that.

Sayaman: Oh, the guy who sells odd badges in Rogueport plaza?

Anti Guy: Yep.

Sayaman: Time for audience questions. Seat 24.

Morton: WEDDING CAKE!

Sayaman: No, not you. Rocksteady, get him.

Morton: AHH! I am scared, terrified, petrified, spooked, and afraid!

(He runs away, but Rocksteady catches up and slams him into a wall.)

Sayaman: Annoying ^@#$% in seat 25.

Susan: Why I never! Anyway, who are you loyal to? Uncle Koopa or Daddy?

Anti Guy: That would be Wart, because I’m still mad at King Koopa for making my little brother leader of the Shy Guys instead of me. I don’t mind his children much, though. You annoy me and your brother terrifies me!

Nick: Yeah, you better be scared!

Cream: Hottie in seat 1.

Lemmy: Um, what? Anyway, which of us do you like best?

Anti Guy: Roy, for having the Sports Hall for me to show my skills.

Sayaman: Aw man. And Cream, I thought you liked Tails.

Cream: I do, but I can’t help it, just look at that ponytail and that rainbow Mohawk.

Sayaman: I’ll have to tell Tails later. Anyway, one last question. Do you like Yoshis?

Anti Guy: Well, they never did anything to me, so yeah!

Sayaman: Good, because I really don’t like the idea of fighting you.

Anti Guy: Well, goodbye.

Sayaman: Would you like Bebop to escort you to your ride in case that mob is waiting outside?

Anti Guy: Yes, please do!

(Bebop escorts AntiGuy out.)

Sayaman: Now that he’s gone…

(Tails jumps out of the hat.)

Tails: There you are, Cream!

Sayaman: Hey Tails, Cream called Lemmy a hottie.

Tails: What?!

Lemmy: Don’t get mad at me. I’m not trying to steal your girl.

Tails: We’re going to have a talk when we get back.

Cream: Aw.

Sayaman: See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Sayaman: End Transmission.

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