PlayStop

PHIL BRO interviews IGGY
 
By myBand

Phil Bro: Welcome back. Our Koopa Kountdown has dropped to 5, with Iggy. Oh joy, it will be barrels of fun. *sigh*

(Iggy walks in and sits down.)

Iggy: Uh, er, hi.

Phil: Calm down. Now, why is your hair that stupid rainbow color?

Iggy: Roy dyed it in as a prank, but I didn't find anything wrong with it.

An Audience Member: I do.

Iggy: I don't care.

An Audience Member: Boooooo.

Phil: Security!

(A Microgoomba walks in and heads over to the crowd.)

Phil: That’s it?

(A hand is seen picking the Microgoomba up and flicking him out a window.)

Phil: NEXT. Why is your hair green in New Super Mario Bros. Wii?

Iggy: Occasionally the dye wears out, leaving my natural green hair, and I have to dye it again. It just happened that NSMBW happened at one of those moments.

Phil: Who was the Chain Chomp in the second battle?

Iggy: He is Chompy, my pet. I've had him since I was a kid. Here is a picture of him.

Audience: Ugghh.

Phil: Eesh.

Iggy: I did NOT give Kamek permission to enlarge him like that! Now he is a monster that no one could ever want! Kamek is out of the castle for life for that!

Kamek: I can change him back.

Iggy: I made up my mind.

Phil: OK. BACK ON TRACK. Why is your shell green and purple in NSMBW?

Iggy: My shell fades color, thanks to one of Ludwig’s "inventions". I also get chills at night, my tail is going to be amputated in a month, and I am allergic to pleasure, beauty, and true love.

Ludwig: I call it a toaster!

Phil: I'm sorry. Ok, why did you choose Dinosaur Land in Super Mario World?

Iggy: Bowser saw me as the weakest, so he made me fight Mario first. It's not fair! Just because Roy beats me up doesn't mean I'm the weakest! I mean, he beats everyone else up too!

Phil: Ok, why-

Iggy: I don't see why Bowser doesn’t put a stop to it! It's already out of hand as it is! He says it'll toughen me up, but it only seems to weaken my spirit.

Phil: Ok, and-

Iggy: Bowser-

Phil: WHY DID YOU CHOOSE GIANT LAND.

Iggy: And that’s another thing. Bowser sent me to Giant Land to toughen me up, and he feels-

Phil: STOP. Now for those at home. Caller 12, you're on the air.

Caller Number 12: RAAWWRR. I sent you to Giant Land because I thought you would like the big things, you spoiled brat! Don't even bother coming back to the castle!

Iggy: *sniff*

Phil: Caller number 4, you're on the air.

Caller Number 4: HEY, THIS IS ROY. BOWSER JUST TOOK AWAY ALL MY FAVORITE STUFF, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. I'M GONNA POUND YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME.

Iggy: I'm not allowed home.

Caller Number 4: THEN I'LL FIND YA!

Iggy: *sob*

Phil: Caller number 2, you're on the air.

Caller Number 2: Hey Iggy, this is Larry. Bowser gave me all your stuff and told me to remind you not to come home.

Iggy: WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Caller Number 2: Bye.

Phil: HOLD IT. You're not hanging up without asking a question.

Caller Number 2: Oh, uh, did you like the big things in Giant Land?

Iggy: It doesn't matter. I can't go home...

Phil: ANSWER IT.

Iggy: Ok, yes!

Phil: Now Iggy, go up on that stage and perform something for the crowd. If they like you, you can go free, but if they don't, you will get eaten by that thing there.

"It": RAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRR

Iggy: Uhh, err, well, I brought my pet Chain Chomp here. Come here, Chompy.

(Chompy is reluctant.)

Iggy: Come here, boy.

(The audience murmurs.)

Iggy: Come here, Chompy.

(Chompy walks over. Iggy lights a hula hoop on fire and tells Chompy to hop through it. Chompy goes over, but catches on fire and hops around the stage, squealing.)

Audience: BOOOOO…

An Audience Member: TAKE IT OFF.

Phil: Well, sorry Iggy, they don't like you.

Iggy: This can't be legal, can it?

Phil: I am above the law. Now shush.

(Phil opens "It's" cage, and It rushes over to Iggy and slurps him up.)

"It": OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

Phil: Well, that’s that. Next week, we have Wendy. Bye.

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