HOP AND IGGY interview ROY
 
By Hop
Hop: Finally, Roy agreed to let me interview him. But I’m too smart to interview him alone. That’s why Iggy’s here.  
 
Iggy: I wanted to go play poker at my casino, but you lay a guilt-trip on me!  
 
Hop: Whatever. I know in other Interviews with Roy, people defended themselves, but I ain’t gonna.  
 
Iggy: WHY NOT?! ARE YOU STUPID?!  
 
Hop: No, this way Roy will feel like we’re not scared of him, and he’ll open his nicer side.  
 
Iggy: Been seeing a therapist?  
 
Hop: Yeah. They made me watch a lame movie. Now, here’s the 3rd-born but strongest Koopaling, Roy Koopa!  
 
Roy (coming onstage): You mean Emperor of Awesome.  
 
Hop: Shut up and sit down.  
 
Roy: You don’t want me to punch Iggy, DO YA?  
 
Hop: Nobody’s punching anyone. Now sit down.  
 
Roy: K!  
 
Iggy: Why do you shake the ground?  
 
Roy: ‘Cause I weigh a lot. GOT A PROBLEM WITH DAT?!  
 
Iggy: No!  
 
Hop: Wait... If you weigh a lot and shake the ground, why do you make fun of Mario’s fat? He’s skinnier than you!  
 
Roy: ‘Cause it’s fun, and King Dad says he’ll do bad things if we don’t make fun of Fat Face.  
 
Hop: (Moron...)  
 
Iggy: Why do you wear sunglasses?  
 
Roy: ‘Cause it’s cool.  
 
Hop: Do you work out?  
 
Roy: I don’t know. Does dis hurt?  
 
Roy punches Hop and Iggy each in the face.  
 
Iggy: Ow!  
 
Hop: WHY AM I DOING THIS?!  
 
Iggy: For Lemmy.  
 
Hop: DARN YOU, LEMMY!!!  
 
Iggy: But I thought he was one of your favorite Koopalings, and you were gonna interview him next.  
 
Hop: Oh yeah. Iggy, you do audience questions with Roy while I go get two ice packs.  
 
Roy: HAHAHAHAHA! FEEL DA PAIN!  
 
Iggy: Now you know what I put up with. AUDIENCE QUESTIONS!!!  
 
Roy: Seat 23.  
 
Pianta (from Isle Delfino): Why weren’t the Koopalings in Super Mario Sunshine?  
 
Roy: We needed a vacation, but Iggy (you glory hog; wait ‘til we get home) made an appearance when FLUDD scanned Mario in da beginning of da game. Instead, Bowser Jr. replaced us. Next question. Seat 32.  
 
Goomba: When you fought Mario in Super Mario Bros. 3 on the doomship, why didn’t you fall through the floor when you shook the ground?  
 
Roy: Magic. Seat 46.  
 
Guy in a full-body cast: Why did you break my spine, arms, legs, etc?  
 
Roy: You made me mad when you paid for that one burger. I have anger-issues. Seat RESERVED FOR FUTURE PUNCHING BAG.  
 
Larry: Heh heh, why is your head... *mmf giggle* pink?  
 
Roy: PINK IS MANLY! Seat-  
 
Hop: I’m back! Here, Iggy, here’s your ice pack.  
 
Iggy: Thanks!  
 
Roy: AS I WAS SAYING, SEAT 26.  
 
Yoshi: Yoshi no understand why Roy so mean.  
 
Roy: Roy no understand word of what Yoshi say.  
 
Hop: That’s a sign of supreme stupidity.  
 
Roy: Yeah? EAT FIST!  
 
Hop: EAT BOB-OMB!  
 
BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!  
 
Iggy: Uh, End Transmission?

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