FIREBALL interviews FUZZY
 
By Fireball

Iggy: Welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show!

Lemmy: Uh, I thought that was my line...

Fireball: We gave it to, Iggy.

Lemmy: What’s wrong with me saying it?

Fireball: You lack... how should I say this... I think, Pete should explain this one.

Pete: Hammers!

Lemmy: That didn't really explain anything.

Fireball: It's an old running gag.

Lemmy: So Iggy is better at saying it than me?

Fireball: Well... you make a point. Iggy, you're fired.

Iggy: Lemmy didn't-

Fireball: Get out.

Iggy: But-

Fireball: Out.

Iggy: Fine...

(Iggy leaves.)

Kroshi: So are you even going to mention that we don't have a studio and are in a JUNGLE?!

Fireball: No, you already said it for me.

Kroshi: I guess I did.

Lemmy: What if it rains?

Fireball: What if you stop complaining?

Lemmy: I'm not complaining.

Fireball: Details, details.

Kroshi: Uh... what?

Fireball: I just wanted to say that, I've had the urge to say it all day.

Kroshi: Yeah, sometimes I want to say it.

Waluigi: Waluigi!

Fireball: Oh, so Waluigi is going to be at my Interviews now?

Waluigi: I've always have been at your Interviews, I just don't really say much. Why, you don't like Waluigi?

Fireball: If we were at the store, and I saw you, I wouldn't strike up a conversation with you.

Waluigi: I would talk to you.

Fireball: Yeah, and I would talk back to you, I wouldn't just ignore you...

Waluigi: Of course...

Lemmy: This is an INTERVIEW show.

Fireball: I don't got an interviewee though.

Lemmy: I knew you would come unprepared, so I brought you someone.

(A Fuzzy hops over.)

Kroshi: Somebody is a bit noisy.

Fuzzy: I'll try to hop softly next time.

Fireball: Yeah, the noise sounded like Gloomtail.

(All of a sudden, Gloomtail comes.)

Gloomtail: Did you say my name?

Fireball: Uh... no.

Gloomtail: Are you sure about that?

Fireball: Uh... yes. Waluigi was saying your name, and he was saying some pretty awful things about you.

Gloomtail: Like what?

Fireball: He said you were awful.

Gloomtail: Where is this 'Waluigi'?

Kroshi: He's tall, wears purple, yells his name aloud for no real reason…

Waluigi: WALUIGI!

Gloomtail: Would that be him?

Kroshi: Well, he's tall, he's wearing purple, and he just yelled his name aloud for no real reason, so yes.

Gloomtail: He doesn't look very... edible. But I'll try anything once.

Waluigi: Waluigi better make his exit!

(Waluigi runs into the jungle.)

Gloomtail: I'll get him... Nobody can hide from the almighty lord!

Lemmy: ... PLEASE, get on with the Interview!

Fireball: Oh yes, this is an Interview show... in a jungle... with a Fuzzy.

Fuzzy: Please, I'm a very busy Fuzzy.

Fireball: Yes, I'm sure you have to do things like hop around all day and make stupid noises.

Fuzzy: Shut up...

Fireball: My first question is, why aren't you making the annoying sounds that most Fuzzies make?

Fuzzy: Please, I'm a mature Fuzzy.

Fireball: So only stupid Fuzzies make loud, annoying sounds?

Fuzzy: Well, you mean sounds like "nyeah" and "meork" and other sounds? I can do those sounds, and I used to, but some Fuzzies tend not to say that stuff anymore. We sort of... grow out of it.

Mario: Can you say "meork" really loud?

Fuzzy: Yes, but I'm too mature for such language.

Kroshi: Save it for audience questions later, Mario.

Fuzzy: I'm not going to say "meork" just for your pleasure.

Fireball: We'll see by the end of the show.

Fuzzy: Nothing will change my mind.

Gloomtail: How about I just eat you?

Fuzzy: Are you still here?

Gloomtail: Yes.

Fuzzy: Um... Well, we'll see later!

Fireball: What do Fuzzies do as a pastime? Other than just bounce around and yell meork.

Fuzzy: I don't know about some Fuzzies, but I have an interest in books.

Fireball: You sound like a very nerdy Fuzzy so far.

Fuzzy: It's called having an interest!

Kroshi: Nerd.

Fuzzy: Stop calling me that!

Kroshi: I only called you a nerd once.

Fuzzy: Still...

Fireball: Anything else Fuzzies do... other than reading?

Fuzzy: Some go to the Glitz Pit to watch fights, and some hang around in other areas such as sewers and jungles.

Kroshi: When you say "hang" you mean bounce.

Fuzzy: Well... technically, yes.

Fireball: Someone likes using big words.

Fuzzy: "Technically"? A lot of people use that word!

Fireball: Maybe Luigi, but nobody else.

Fuzzy: I'm... not even going to really get into detail with this, please just ask the next question.

Fireball: How come you guys are untouchable in Super Mario World?

Fuzzy: Well if you must know, Fuzzies had found a poisonous plant that created poison on our skin, meaning Mario could not even harm us.

Fireball: How come you guys can get hurt now?

Fuzzy: After Super Mario World, the plants vanished for some odd reason. I've been doing some studying about it and-

Kroshi: You are a nerd.

Fuzzy: I'm no nerd, I'm smart.

Fireball: I was hoping we would have a fun Fuzzy.

Fuzzy: I'm fun...

Kroshi: The closest you've ever got to fun was reading about it.

Fuzzy: Yeah... well... yeah!

Fireball: Settle down.

Fuzzy: Well, I'm very settled in as it is.

Fireball: Terrific. Next question, what's up with Flower Fuzzies taking FP instead of HP?

Fuzzy: Flower Fuzzies take the FP so they can unleash a powerful attack. They don't really pay much attention to their HP level.

Pete: Hammers!

Kroshi: Woah, I forgot that Pete was here.

Pete: I didn't really have anything to say before. I planned on saying something, but I was rudely interrupted by Gloomtail, this making me want to throw hammers, but I didn't.

Gloomtail: Hey, I can interrupt whoever I want whenever.

Pete: How?

Gloomtail: Look at me, I'm a dragon!

Pete: Nothing hammers won't fix.

Gloomtail: I would eat you, but I want a taste of that Waluigi first.

Where Waluigi is...

Waluigi: I've finally got away from that dragon!

Gloomtail: You're right in front of me.

Waluigi: WAH!

(Gloomtail eats Waluigi)

Gloomtail: Tastes like rotten onions...

(Gloomtail spits Waluigi out and Waluigi flies off far away.)

Fireball: Let’s... let’s just do one more question, and then we can go to the audience.

Fuzzy: Good, I want to make it out of this Interview in one piece!

Fireball: How come Green Fuzzies and Forest Fuzzies seem to be the exact same?

Fuzzy: That would be because they are the same. People just fiddled with the name.

Fireball: We can now get on with some audience questions. Seat... well I guess we don't really have any seats for that matter.

Lemmy: How are you going to solve this now?

Fireball: Don't worry, I always have a plan. Just give me a couple of minutes.

A couple of minutes later...

Lemmy: So, what's this plan of yours?

Fireball: Oh yeah, I was supposed to think of something.

Lemmy: What were you thinking of that whole time?

Fireball: What I was going to do when the show was over. I like to plan the day out.

Lemmy: Why don't we have people raise there hands and you pick someone out?

Fireball: Okay... uh... you! The one with the joy for hammers!

Pete: What's with you Fuzzies stealing shells?

Fuzzy: Some Fuzzies like to play pranks on others. I’m ashamed to admit that I've done it a couple of times, but I no longer do it.

Kooper: I don't believe I ever got an apology from any of those Fuzzies either!

Kroshi: Kooper... sit down.

Kooper: I am sitting down.

Kroshi: Stand up.

(Kooper stands up.)

Kroshi: Kooper... sit down.

Kooper: Oh, okay.

(Kooper sits down.)

Fireball: You! The overweight turtle!

Bowser: I'm not overweight! I'm very trim!

Kroshi: Get on with the question.

Bowser: Who do the Fuzzies work for?

Fuzzy: They don't actually work under anyone. Perhaps some may, but the majority of us don't.

Bowser: How about working for-

Fuzzy: Please, I wouldn't even bother asking. Most of your workers are underpaid, I have little interest in working for you, and I'm sure most other Fuzzies feel the same way.

Bowser: How do you know I was going to ask you to work for me? Maybe I was going to say something else...

Fuzzy: Were you?

Bowser: No, but you could have at least let me finish the sentence.

Kroshi: Did he hurt your feelings, Bowser?

Bowser: A bit- I mean, no!

Kroshi: Sure.

Bowser: Keep going with the Interview!

Fireball: Let’s see... The man who is as pale as a ghost!

Boo: I am a ghost!

Fireball: Sure.

Boo: Do Fuzzies have any weaknesses?

Fuzzy: I would have to say fireballs.

Boo: Is... that it?

Fuzzy: I don't really have anything else to say.

Boo: Boo!

Fuzzy: Boo as in you’re trying to scare me, or boo as in you’re booing me for my response?

Boo: Both!

Fuzzy: AH!

Kroshi: Someone is a bit jumpy today.

Fuzzy: You would be scared as well if a giant dragon just startled you!

Fireball: Who next... The ugly pink thing!

Birdo: How could you say such a thing...

Fireball: I call them the way I see them.

Birdo: What's up with Gold Fuzzies? Is there only one of a kind?

Fuzzy: Well actually, they’re extremely rare. There is more than one, though.

Lemmy: I think this Interview better end soon, some dark clouds seem to be coming.

Fireball: Lemmy, you worry too much.

Lemmy: Just get on with the last question.

Fireball: I'm doing that because I want to, not because you told me. You! The fat plumber!

Mario: I've been losing weight recently; calling me fat only makes me want to eat more.

Fireball: Fine, the thin-looking plumber.

Mario: I'm not thin.

Fireball: The plumber in red.

Mario: Can you yell "meork" really loud?

Fuzzy: I already told you, no.

Gloomtail: How about I eat you!

Fuzzy: W-what?

Gloomtail: If you yell out this weird sound, I may not gobble you down.

Fuzzy: MMMMEERRROOKKK!

Gloomtail: I was lying.

Fuzzy: Oh no! I've lost my dignity and now I'm going to be chow!

(It begins to rain.)

Gloomtail: Bleh, rain. I don't want my wings to get wet. You can all live another day.

(Gloomtail flies off.)

Lemmy: I'm wet and cold, just end the Interview.

Fireball: In a minute.

(Thunder and lightning start up.)

Fireball: You know what, I think we should call it a day.

Lemmy: Yes.

Fireball: End transmission.

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