(The scene starts with Phil leaving a building, with 4 security guards fighting off a mob of fans. He makes it to his limo and drives off to his deluxe mansion. He jumps into his pool/hot tub and talks to some ladies. He then gets woken up by a cameraman.)
Phil: Whuh wuzzz, huh?
Cameraman: You fell asleep.
Phil: I was having a dream that might come true IF MY SHOW WAS ON A BETTER CHANNEL THAN THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST CENTER.
Camera: Uhh, we're live.
Phil: Oh, ummm, hi. We start our Koopa Kountdown with number 7, Ludwig von Koopa.
Ludwig: Hi, it's great to be here!
Phil: Not for me it isn't, not for me. First question, why did you have white hair and a yellow shell in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Ludwig: It was the style back then, and I happened to be the coolest one in my family.
Phil: The right answer!
Ludwig: Ok! When people call me the oldest in the family, they do not realize I am actually 65! During Super Mario World my dye wore out. Then Mario came in, and I had no time to dye it back. I dyed my hair back after Mario fought me.
Phil: Then how do you manage to fight?
Ludwig: You young whippersnapper! Seniors are the best fighters ever! C'mere!
Phil: Eek!
Unidentifiable Audience Member: Booooo. Hiiiiiisssss.
Phil: Settle down. Look, there's some hard candy at your seat.
Ludwig: Yay.
Phil: Wait, wouldn't 65 be way older then Bowser?
Ludwig: He is 100 years old. How do you think a giant monster dragon could lose to a mere plumber?
Bowser: *wheeze*
Phil: How is he still alive?
Ludwig: We are, unfortunately, immortal. Which means I will suffer an eternity of life. *sniff*
Phil: HAHAHA- I mean sorry. Why do you have a deeper voice in New Super Mario Bros. Wii than in the cartoons?
Ludwig: THE CARTOONS CAME OUT EARLIER THAN THE GAME! GEE YOU ARE SMART.
Phil: Geez, just a question. Lastly, why were you brown in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Ludwig: Pipe Land was literally 75 percent sun and 25 percent sky. No amount of sunscreen could've protected me. The sun even penetrated my castle!
Phil: We now go to you at home! Calle-
Unidentifiable Audience Member: Booooo.
Phil: AHEM. Caller Number 3, you're on the air, what is your name and question?
Caller Number 3: Hi.
Phil: Who’s this?
Caller Number 3: Pokey.
Phil: Ok, what's your question?
Caller Number 3: Why did your fire change color in New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
Ludwig: A side effect from Kamek's spell.
Phil: Caller Number 5, you're on the air.
Caller Number 3: This is Waluigi! Hehehehe! Why was your shell blue in New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
Ludwig: Another side effec- Ok, I'd just like to point out that everything blue in New Super Mario Bros. Wii was a side effect!
Phil: Even your hai-
Ludwig: YES EVEN MY HAIR.
Phil: But it was al-
Ludwig: You heard me!
Phil: All right, jeez. Now, we are starting a new thing on our Interview show. The interviewee has to perform for the audience, and the audience votes if the interviewee should be able to leave or be fed to, "It".
(Phil unveils from behind some curtains a huge, unholy beast that gets unchained and eats 10% of the audience before being caught and chained up again.)
"It": RAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
Ludwig: *gulp*
(Ludwig gets up on a stage and summons seven Koopas, who each take a separate instrument. Ludwig starts playing the piano and the audience starts booing. Although the Koopas are forced to play beautifully, Ludwig misses many notes and plays some wrong, and even starts singing horribly.)
Ludwig: La la la la la la~
(Two Hammer Bros. grab Ludwig and throw him at "It".)
Ludwig: AHHHHHHH-
"It": Nom nom nom.
Phil: That's all the time we have.
(He punches the camera out.)
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