ONYX interviews MORTON
 
By Queen Sunny

Water Land Castle, same day, 11:35 AM

Onyx: It’s about time… Now, let’s see… *looks at a card* 0.o What the?! VIVIAN!!! I THOUGHT I WAS SUPPOSED TO INTERVIEW TUBBA BLUBBA!!!

Vivian: He’s in the hospital for heart surgery.

Onyx: -.- Shoot… *takes out wand* Where’s Morton?

(Morton is seen swimming back to shore holding a huge bucket filled with stuff over his head.)

Morton: Went clamming, and all I get are oysters, scallops, mussels-

Onyx: Stop. You’re being interviewed, K?

Later…

Onyx: Hey guys, it’s-a me! T-

Lemmy: LEMMY’S INTERVIEW SHOW!!!

Onyx: >:(  DIDN’T ANYTHING I SAID GET THROUGH YOUR THICK LITTLE HEAD?!?

(Lemmy is seen flying south due to a wind spell.)

Onyx (acting as if nothing happened): So, today I’m interviewing Morton! First question: when did you first appear?

Morton: SMB3.

Onyx: What t with the “WEDDING CAKE” gag?

Morton: *chuckles* Funny story, really-

Onyx: Morton…

Morton: Fine. The truth is, those were the first words I ever spoke, and I guess they stuck with me since…

Onyx: Huh. Here’s my next question: why do you talk so much?

Morton: I just have a strong feeling I need to say something important, but every time I open my mouth, I quickly lose my train of thought and wind up going off-trail.

Onyx: Oh. So, what happened to your ground pound from Super Mario World?

Morton: I’m still able to use it, but it doesn’t work as well anymore. In Superstar Saga I only weighed Mario down. I was only able to paralyze him in the fort battle of NSMBW because of a foot trigger. The floor in the castle battle had weak spots.

Onyx: Figured that would happen. Seat PHJ33RM3H4w350m3n332!

Mario: How’d you get that star mark on your face?

Morton: Roy burned it onto my face with a Power Star. I’m lucky I can still see with that eye.

Onyx: 0.o Sweet Lord… Seat TOBEDOODLED!

Tenderling: How’d I get here?

Onyx: Plothole abuse. Question, please.

Tenderling: How come you got Desert Land?

Morton: It was the last one available.

Onyx: XD

Morton: Har, har. I need to catch up on some missed shows now, so I’ll call the last seat. Seat HOWDOISHOTWEB!

Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!!!

Dr. Octogonapus: DR. OCTOGONAPUS BWAAAAAAAA!!!

300 Guy: THIS IS SUUUB-COOOON!!!

Onyx: *anime fall* Sunny’s never going to let me interview again after this…

(Onyx turns the camera off.)

TRANSMISSION ENDED

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