(An African American human is sitting in the interviewer chair. Micheal Tarver is a boxer and a professional wrestler, so he's wearing tape on his hands and Spandex.)
Micheal Tarver: Welcome to Badyoyo Interviews, today's Interview will be hosted by... me, Micheal Tarver. Today I will be interviewing... Who am I interviewing today?
Badyoyo: You're interviewing Koopa Troopa.
Micheal Tarver: That's it?! I deserve better!
Badyoyo: Calm down, you got a more interesting minion then the others anyway.
Micheal Tarver: Man... Send him in.
(A green-shelled Koopa Troopa walks in and sits in the interviewee chair.)
Micheal Tarver: All right, question one. Who are you?
Koopa Troopa: I am Koopa Troopa 23, the Koopa Troopa that hosts all the game board maps.
Micheal Tarver: Hmmm, did you ever work out in the field for Bowser?
Koopa Troopa: No, I was told I wasn't the official height to join his army.
Micheal Tarver: Why is that?
Koopa Troopa: Well, when I took the course I couldn't fit into any pipes because I was so big. So Bowser banned me from the Koopa Army.
Micheal Tarver: So what did you do with your life?
Koopa Troopa: What do you think? I lead the Koopa Rebellion.
Micheal Tarver: The what?
Koopa Troopa: Don't tell me you haven't heard of the Koopa Rebellion.
Micheal Tarver: Never heard of it.
Koopa Troopa: How many people in this audience know what the Koopa Rebellion is?
(The entire audience raises their hand.)
Micheal Tarver: Uh-huh, but how many people on Earth know the Koopa Rebellion?
(No one on Earth raises their hand.)
Micheal Tarver: See? Now tell us what it is.
Koopa Troopa: It all took place back when Bowser was still a stupid teenage leader. He refused to feed us, he put us in the worst positions, he never paid us. We had enough, and charged King Koopa's Castle and burned it to the ground. Bowser had no choice but to give Koopas extreme luxuries and actually treat them right.
Micheal Tarver: *yawn* Boring. Can we get another guy out here?
(Tikimon picks up the green Koopa Troopa and throws him out a window, while a red Koopa Troopa comes in.)
Micheal Tarver: And who might you be?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words that I can't type because I can't write in Japanese on an American computer*
Micheal Tarver: Huh?
Max: I speak a little Japanese, I'll translate. "I'm Red Koopa Troopa 17, that Koopa Troopa in the little box thingy containing the first Mushroom of Super Mario Bros. the Lost Levels."
Micheal Tarver: How come you're talking in Japanese?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: He says "I speak Japanese since the game was never sent to America; now every minion in that game speaks it."
Micheal Tarver: Interesting....What was it like working in the field?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Very tedious and sometimes painful. I walk around in a box that Mario and Luigi can't even get into, then one of the following happens every day; 1. They break the floor, giving me less time to move around, 2. They knock me onto a tiny pedestal to try to get that Mushroom, giving me even less room to move around, 3. They can't get that darn Mushroom and I keep getting knocked around, 4. They break the space I'm on and I fall out, and I'm either free or I get used as a weapon and lose my pay for the day.
Micheal Tarver: Gruesome...What is it like for the rest of your friends?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Almost all of them weren't as lucky as me, many times they get attacked by Mario and they can't defend themselves."
Micheal Tarver: You mentioned pay, how much is it?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "We get five coins a day if we don't fall off a cliff or attack our allies."
Micheal Tarver: So... what gave you that privilege?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "What privilege?"
Micheal Tarver: The privilege of being safe from Mario and Luigi most of the time.
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Oh, in the Koopa training camp I proved to be the best Red Koopa of them all, so I got the special treatment of being protected from attack more often than my lower-ranked friends."
Micheal Tarver: Even though the audience doesn't know the meaning of question, we'll have some... You in seat 14!
Macho Grubba: Well boy howdy! I wanna know how King K's shell got all yellow!
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "I don't really know, some people say he fell in a deep fat fryer and his shell is golden crisp, but I don't personally know."
Micheal Tarver: Seat 456!
Dry Bones: Who are your "lower-ranked friends"?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Wait a minute… Yu sound familiar... You're one of my pals back on the field! ... Zack Koopa?!
Dry Bones: Good eye. I was lucky enough to survive a vicious battle with Mario.
Mr. Malovonnie: If you call dibs on a talking skeleton as your interviewee because you doubt its psychology, you might be a Redneck... And that's why I'm calling dibs on him!
Micheal Tarver: Get the flagerbord out of my Interview! ...Where was I? Oh yeah, Seat 365.
Dark Koopa (a standard Dark Koopa, not that awesome guy who makes cool Interviews): How are Dark Koopas made? I know, but I'm sure the world doesn't.
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Really, it's a racial thing; some Koopas are born Dark Koopas, some are born red or green."
Micheal Tarver: Seat 38!
Piranha Plant: What's your real name?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "My name is Yukuzi Tatsu! No relation to that Yoshi Tatsu fellow."
Micheal Tarver: Seat 345!
Chain Chomp: How much food do you get while you work with Bowser?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Bowser wants to stay in shape in case we ever have to fight Mario, so it's either a feast of healthy food, or just a single order of unhealthy stuff, depends on what he's hungry for."
Micheal Tarver: Seat 493!
Mack: Why do you think Bowser has so many weak minions in his army, while something like the Smithy Gang has less than a dozen people but is much more powerful than Bowser’s army ever will be?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "I... honestly don't know"
Micheal Tarver: Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Seat 85!
Wario: Who are your most hated koopas to the Koopa army currently?
Red Koopa Troopa: *Japanese words*
Max: "Kooper, just Kooper. He's hated by all Koopas, we just can't believe how evil he is, to attack Lord Bowser like that? ARGH! He's like the Al Capone of Koopas. We will even give anyone ten thousand coins to find that guy dead or alive."
Wario: I'm on the case!
(Wario charges out of the building.)
Wario: I'll find Kooper and claim the money! WAH HA HA!
Micheal Tarver: Ok, obviously this audience doesn't have any good questions. So I think it's time for the WHEEL!
Ngin: OF!
Max: PAIN!
Micheal Tarver: Spin in Tikimon!
(Tikimon spins the wheel of pain and it lands on…)
Micheal Tarver: Have Nexus attack you! This just got epic!
(The Nexus walk in and Badyoyo tries to stop them.)
Badyoyo: No! We have enough WWE references already!
(John Cena picks up Badyoyo and gives him an attitude adjustment)
Badyoyo: Ouch... So that's what it likes...
(Badyoyo passes out.)
Micheal Tarver: TARVER TUCK!
(Micheal Tarver bodyslams Red Koopa Troopa)
Wade Barret: Let me at him, boys!
(Wade Barret picks up Red Koopa Troopa and throws him to the ground.)
Justin Gabriel: Hey, I can't find a good place to stand on!
Wade Barret: Use my shoulders!
(Justin Gabriel climbs up on Wade Barret's shoulders and does a 450 splash on Red Koopa Troopa.)
Wade Barret: Otunga!
(David Otunga starts running toward Lakione and Lakitwo.)
Lakione: Lakitwo, run for your life!
Lakitwo: Even though his suplexes are botched up they still hurt like a knife!
David Otunga: Dang, they got away!
Heath Slater: This one's still here.
(The Nexus look at Ngin.)
Wade Barret: Get him.
(David Otunga uses a botched up suplex on Ngin, and John Cena goes to the camera.)
John Cena: You're either Nexus or against us.
(John Cena turns off the camera.)
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