AURORA TOADSTOOL interviews KING CROACUS
 
By Queen Sunny

Peach’s BIS Castle, same day, 10:15 AM

Aurora: *looks at title on teleprompter* Huh.

Serena (eating cake): What?

Aurora: I’m interviewing King Croacus.

Serena: Oh.

(K.C. appears from out of nowhere.)

K.C: Let’s-a go! Ooooooo-weeeeee-oooooo!

Later…

Aurora: Yo. This--

(Rolling noises are heard. The certain Koopa making those noises gets shot with a dart containing a minimal amount of poison, courtesy of Aurora.)

K.C: O.O

Aurora: I’ll kill him if he’s responsible for derailing the Interviews. So, first question: when did you first appear?

K.C: I only appeared in Super Paper Mario. Oooooooooo-weeeeeeeee-ooooooo!

Aurora: Why do you keep talking like that?

K.C: Are you familiar with the film “Kung Pow: Enter the Fist“? I was a fan of Ling, but after I grew out of that phase, I guess the weird speech stuck… Ooooooooooo-weeeeeeeeee-oooooooooooo!

Aurora: Stop that. So, what exactly ARE you?

K.C: I’m considered to be an anthropomorphic rose, like Petey Piranha‘s an anthropomorphic Piranha Plant. I wish I could’ve used my arms and legs, but Mario beat me too quickly.

Aurora: Mmm-hmm. Last question and it’s audience time: don’t you need roots to stay alive like other plants?

K.C: Does Petey need roots?

Aurora: Oh yeah. Seat DANTE’SINFERNO!

Bonechill: How come you enslaved the Cragnons instead of just digging your own lake?

K.C: I would’ve tried it, but Hornfels and Monzo, the only Cragnons that had brains, would’ve found it and the other citizens would have polluted that water too. Seat TALKINGRADIO!

Boomboxer: Why’d you want a castle made of jewels?

K.C: Since me and my people needed a new supply of energy due to the rapidly dwindling clean water, we were using the crystals found in the caverns to essentially build a giant greenhouse.

Aurora: You should go to Grass Land. Seat CAMERACRAG!

Monzo: What did you have against us that was a cause for brainwashing?

K.C: Are you aware of what your people were putting into that water or how stupid they really are? We had to stop them before they made THEMSELVES extinct.

Aurora: They can’t be THAT stupid. Seat NO!

Ackbar: IT’S A TRAP!!!

Vegeta: NIIIIIINE THOUSAAAAAAAAND!!!

Aurora: X(  AAAAAH!!! *pant* Seat POPULARITYTHEIF!

Sonic: What were you doing with the Pure Heart?

K.C: A Guardian Fairy gave it to one of our earliest kings to keep until she was to return.

Aurora: That’s drastically different from what that one Floro Sapien said.

K.C: He was 10 at the time, so chances are, he hadn’t learned a lot of history yet. Seat DIE and I need to go home.

Ganon: NOOOO!!! NOT INTO THE PIT!!! IT BUUUUURRRRRRRNS!!!

Leonidas: THIS IS SPARTA!!!

King Harkinian: Mah boi!

Mimi: I’ll end this.

(She turns off the camera.)

TRANSMISSION ENDED

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