Larry: Hello, and welcome to-
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!
Larry: Today I will be interviewing- *looks at his notes* Correction, today Lemmy will be interviewing. I’m outta here!
(Larry tries to run off, but Lemmy holds him back.)
Lemmy: Ah, ah, ah! You were paid to do this, not me!
Larry: I’m not interviewing Dino Piranha! He’s a giant Koopa-eating plant that can’t even talk!
Lemmy: Your point being? Tons of people do Interviews with creatures like this! And besides, it’s a plant! Don’t you like them?
Larry: Usually, but when King Dad told me about this one, I tried to take it home as a pet, and it nearly ate me!
Lemmy: *sigh* Just do it.
(Larry gulps and sits down in the interviewer chair.)
Larry: Will Dino Piranha please come out?
Dino Piranha: GABLAAH!
Larry: Ok, first question: How did you get in space? You didn’t seem to have any parents as far I can tell.
Dino Piranha: GABLAAH!
Larry: I see. When Mario found you, were you just being born? Because you were pretty big already.
Dino Piranha: GABLAAH!
Larry: This is not working. Ludwig? Will you please get an interpreter?
Dino Piranha: There’s no need. I can talk normally.
(Larry falls off his chair in shock, then climbs back on.)
Larry: Ok… Please answer the questions.
Dino Piranha: To your first question, Piranha Plants leave their kids in random places when they’re born.
Larry: No, they don’t!
Dino Piranha: Space Piranha Plants do! And for your second question, yes, I was just being born. Space Piranhas are much bigger than ones on Plit.
Larry: Ah. How did you learn to talk?
Dino Piranha: All Piranhas can talk, it’s just that they choose not to waste their breath on lower life forms such as Koopas.
Larry: Hey! I’m not a lower life form!
Dino Piranha: Do you like plants?
Larry: … Yes?
Dino Piranha: Ok, then you aren’t. It’s those who don’t like plants.
Wario: Plants-a are trash! They aren’t-a worth anything at all!
(Dino Piranha screams that annoying scream from the game and mercilessly attacks Wario, who simply runs behind him and does the coconut thing.)
Dino Piranha: Ouch.
Larry: … That brings me to my next question. Why are you so weak?
Dino Piranha: I’m not weak!
(A Goomba runs onstage and beats Dino Piranha within an inch of his game.)
Dino Piranha: Ok, fine. When Mario beat me as a baby, it seriously injured me, and never became strong at all.
Larry: Yet *snicker* against a Goomba?
Dino Piranha: … I refuse to reply to that remark.
Larry: Ok, I think it’s time for audience questions. Seat 24!
Whomp: You squishy and easy to whomp?
Dino Piranha: Sadly, yes.
Larry: Seat 64!
Yoshi: What Dino’s favorite food?
Dino Piranha: Anything that can’t fight back.
Larry: Seat 122!
Goomba: What’s your weakness?
Dino Piranha: As if it wasn’t obvious, the coconut on my tail. If you spin into it, it’ll smash into my head.
Roy: So that’s how you do it!
(Everyone turns as one to stare at Roy.)
Roy: Uh, gotta go to, um, pound Iggy.
(Roy runs off.)
Larry: … Seat 7!
Mario: Do you have any cheese?
Dino Piranha: …
Larry: Um, I think that’s all the time we have for today, so tune in next on-
Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!
Larry: To watch us humiliate another innocent person-thing! End Transmission!
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