Inside Lemmy's Interview Studio...
(A strange, Scottish man walks onto the stage.)
Sean Connery: Hello, and welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show. Today I'll be-
??? (off-screen): 'Ey! Get yeh heiny offa' the stage, laddie!
(O'Chunks comes onstage and grabs Sean Connery, then throws him out a window. They're on the 876th floor, by the way.)
Sean Connery: Hmm. It sheems that I won't be doing an Interview anytime shoon. *hits the ground* Ow.
O'Chunks: *to the audience* Sorry about that, lads. Todah ahm gonna beh interviewing the y'ngest Koop'ling, the lover of plants, the master of spyin', Laura Koopa!
(Larry Koopa runs onstage.)
Larry Koopa: It's Larry Koopa! Laarr-rrryy Koopa! Say it with me, Laarrr-rrrryyy. Not Laura, you musclebound oaf!
O'Chunks: Don't go insultin' me, Lad! Now get in the interviewee seat and I'll get teh interviewing yeh.
(Larry gets in the interviewee seat and O'Chunks sits in the other seat.)
O'Chunks: A'ight, first question. Why dint Lemmeh do that thing where he comes and says the name of the show?
Larry: That's the first question?
O'Chunks: No.
Larry: Ask a real question.
O'Chunks: A'ight laddie. 'ere's the real first question. Which of yer siblin's can yeh not stand in the least?
Larry: It's hard to say. I want to pick Morton because he's so annoying. But he's actually an ok Koopa. I'm gonna pick Roy, because he's always beating us.
O'Chunks: I see. Now fer the next question. Ah heard that yer a veg'terian. Is this true?
Larry: Yes, I am a vegetarian. If I eat just a bite of meat, it's bad.
O'Chunks: Bad how?
Larry: I'll show you.
(He pulls out a hamburger and takes a bite. He falls on the floor and starts rocking back and forth in a fetal position while muttering incoherently.)
O'Chunks: What's with him?
Ludwig: I theorize that Larry has become so used to eating nothing but fruits and vegetables, that eating meat causes him to have a breakdown. It's sad, isn't it? Just give him a fruit or vegetable and he'll be fine.
O'Chunks: A'ight Laddie.
(He shoves a cabbage down Larry's throat. Larry gets back in the chair and starts acting normal again.)
O'Chunks: N'ver do that ag'n, Laddie. Next question now. What was yer fav'rit episode of The Adventures of Supeh Maria Bros. 3?
Larry: My favorite episode would have to be the ones that have me in them.
O'Chunks: Ah see. Last question from meh, th'n we'll ask questions from the audience. What is yer least fav'rite movie?
Larry: That's the last question?
O'Chunks: Ah ran out of questions to ask yeh.
Larry: All right. My least favorite movie is Godzilla. They totally ripped off the giant, fire-breathing reptile from Nintendo!
O'Chunks: Ah thought Godzilla came first. Or maybe it was Nintendo. Anyway, time fer the audience teh ask yeh some questions, Laura.
Larry: ....
O'Chunks: Seat FREAKSHEET!
Doopliss: Hey slick, you mind keeping an eye on Luigi for me? I don't trust him with that vacuum of his.
Larry: No! Watch your own back, freak sheet!
Doopliss: Aw man.
O'Chunks: Seat IDIOTPLUMBER!
Mario: What is your opinion on the economic status of the Mushroom Kingdom?
Larry: Did... he... just... ask... an... intelligent question?
Mario: What's economic status? Is that a type of sandwich? I like horsies!
(Mario takes off his shoe and eats it.)
O'Chunks: Ooooookay. Seat INTELLIGENTPLUMBER!
Luigi: Can I test out my new vacuum? It's able to suck up Koopas. And when they get sucked up, they can't get out unless I let them out, and E. Gadd says that it's really horrifying in there, so can I try it out?
Larry: What?! No! Are you insane?! Why would you ask me that?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHH!!!
Luigi: I wasn't gonna use it on you. I was gonna use it on a Koopa Troopa.
Larry: Oh, ok then. Yeah, go ahead.
O'Chunks: Well, that's all the time we h've fer tehday. See yeh next time. End-
(Lemmy runs onto the stage.)
Lemmy: Sorry I'm late! Lemmy's Interview S-
O'Chunks: Yeh a li'l bit too late, Lem'eh. The Interview’s over now. And where were yeh?
Lemmy: I was stuck in traffic.
O'Chunks: Ah, well. End Transmission!
(TRANSMISSION ENDED)
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