(You can see some kind of title card.)
P.T.’s voice: Wait, we’re still doing this? Who are all you again, anyway?
Backstage...
Lemmy: P.T.! It’s been months since your last Interview! You’ve got to stop taking breaks like this between each Interview!
P.T.: But-
Lemmy: No buts! You’ve got to do some kind of real special Interview to make up for lost time!
P.T.: But-
Lemmy: And another thing, whatever happened to the whole subplot of Skye being evil, the M&L3 Boss Interviews, and-
P.T.: Who?
Lemmy: Skye? You said we needed a girl on our team but-
P.T.: I don’t recall.
Lemmy: See, right after you and Punchy interviewed King Sammer-
(P.T. picks up Lemmy by his hair.)
P.T.: That never happened. It’s just you, me, Mii T., Spike, Punchy, Bogmire, Bill, Shrike, and that guy over there.
Dupree: Yo.
P.T.: Got it?
Lemmy: Wait, you didn’t hire him!
Dupree: Well...
(Dupree runs away.)
P.T.: That was weird. Fine, let’s do this.
Al Gore: I invented InterNed.
InterChet: No, I did.
P.T.: Bogmire, help me out.
Bogmire: I’ll interview in spirit.
P.T.: But you’re already a spirit, so wouldn’t that mean-
Bogmire: Shut up and do it yourself.
Soon...
P.T.: So here’s the Super Ultra Great Mega Trashy Monster Junker Bot!
Junker: I AM THE JUNKER!
P.T.: Or that. So, Super Ultra Mega Great-
Junker: GREAT COMES BEFORE MEGA!
P.T.: Super Duper Great-
Junker: THERE IS NO DUPER!
P.T.: So Steve, what exactly are you?
Junker: I WAS A NEW-
Lemmy: He can’t be talking in all-caps for the whole Interview.
Junker: ... Jerk. I was a new security system for Mushroom Castle, purchased shortly before the beginning of the game. When Fawful took over, he activated me and had me programmed to prevent entrance into the castle from behind.
P.T.: Wasn’t Midbus doing that?
Junker: Midbus was only in charge right before I fought the intruders.
P.T.: What was up with you right after the fight?
Junker: AI malfunction. My systems went haywire and I started rampaging around. I picked up the heaviest object I could find and tried to throw it at the intruders. Then I ran toward Fawful. But the wall stopped me.
P.T.: And you created a shortcut to the pipe that led to Bowser’s insides. What are you doing now?
Junker: After the Dark Star nullified-
P.T.: Nullified? It’s not dead?!
Junker: Save that for the next Interview.
P.T.: Good point.
Junker: When it was nullified, Princess Peach heard about Mario and Luigi defeating me and realized how potentially dangerous I could be. I was thrown out. The end.
P.T.: Well folks, that wraps up-
Shrike: Don’t you think he should tell you how he’s even here then? And that you should ask even more questions than that?
P.T.: If you’re so smart, why don’t you interview him then?!
Shrike: No, you’re having me bribe all the others into staying!
P.T.: Oh yeah... Fine... So how’d you get here then?
Junker: E. Gadd, my inventor, found me and programmed me to guard Beanbean Castle. And Starbeans Cafe.
P.T.: Why is there a dance option on your remote control?
Junker: You never know when a party might come around.
P.T.: Like right now?
Junker: Yes!
Music starts as P.T., Junker, the audience, P.T.’s gang backstage, and Lemmy all start dancing.
Jimmy T.: Aw yeah, I love to boogie.
Lemmy: Woo! ... Hey wait, we can’t interrupt this Interview with dancing! We don’t have that kind of power! This isn’t Oprah!
Everyone else in the studio: Awww...
The music stops.
P.T.: Jerk. Anyway, what other options are there?
Junker: Activate, Deactivate, Fight, Wash Dishes, Carve Totem Poles, and Eat Pastries. Oh and of course, Dance.
P.T.: I see... Well folks-
Lemmy: Not yet! You’ve still got to make up for lost time!
P.T.: *sigh* Uh... Why are you pink?
Junker: I was designed for Peach’s castle. She’d like me better if I was pink.
P.T.: What’s up with the Junker Cans?
Junker: Those are usually inside me, but for battles I let them out to attack and capture the enemy.
P.T.: Mm-hmm. What kind of crazy hammerspace is in a Junker Can? Because they can hold Luigi as well as an infinite amount of Chomps, Cheep Cheeps, Scutlets, boxers, and stuff. In fact, how do you keep so many dirt Thwomps and trash meteorites inside you?!
Junker: When E. Gadd built us, he installed us with hyperspace storage. There is virtually no limit to how much we can hold.
P.T.: How come Luigi is the only one you’d throw into your minions?
Junker: I didn’t like him as much.
P.T.: ... That’s it? You just didn’t like him?
Junker: Yep.
P.T.: Oooookaaay... Were you awake at all for any of the things that happened in the castle afterward?
Junker: No, I wasn’t reactivated until some time after the Dark Star nullified. In fact, I only yesterday heard about Dark Bowser, the Super Peach’s Castle, and stuff like that.
P.T.: Okay everyone, goodbye-
Punchy: We’re not done yet!
P.T.: Well dang it, Punchy, I don’t have any more questions!
Lemmy: *sigh* At least we tried... Goodbye, everyone, you’ve been watching Lemmy’s Int-
P.T.: No, it’s my studio so we don’t call it that!
Lemmy: But it’s my show, plus I’m the boss! But too late now! End Transmission!
(Transmission Ended.)
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